Wild Dog Adventure Riding

General => Jou MA!!!! - and other off topic stories => The Comedy Club => Topic started by: Bie on October 03, 2019, 07:13:58 pm

Title: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 03, 2019, 07:13:58 pm
Life is so serious. Let them funnies come.

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 07, 2019, 12:53:19 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: TheBear on October 07, 2019, 12:57:17 pm
(https://gohunt-assets-us-west-2.s3.amazonaws.com/styles/gallery/s3/Deer-balls-hunting-meme.jpg?itok=FfIDezo7)
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: DUSTRIDERS on October 07, 2019, 12:58:39 pm
 :laughing4: :lol8:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: VaalBaas on October 07, 2019, 01:24:56 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Komin on October 08, 2019, 09:04:35 am
At last a 1200 GS priced correctly

https://www.onedayonly.co.za/jeronimo-battery-powered-bolt-motorbike-4-20191007.html

 :biggrin:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: VaalBaas on October 08, 2019, 10:16:19 am
At last a 1200 GS priced correctly

https://www.onedayonly.co.za/jeronimo-battery-powered-bolt-motorbike-4-20191007.html

 :biggrin:

Jy vir jou een gekry? :lol8: :lol8:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: katana on October 08, 2019, 11:32:12 am
At last a 1200 GS priced correctly

https://www.onedayonly.co.za/jeronimo-battery-powered-bolt-motorbike-4-20191007.html

 :biggrin:

Jy vir jou een gekry? :lol8: :lol8:
Dis die enigste manier om by jou BMW telling in te haal - of te probeer. 
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Komin on October 09, 2019, 11:10:40 am
At last a 1200 GS priced correctly

https://www.onedayonly.co.za/jeronimo-battery-powered-bolt-motorbike-4-20191007.html

 :biggrin:

Jy vir jou een gekry? :lol8: :lol8:

Nee nog nie - ek is bang vir die slag wanneer jy die battery moet vervang.  Dis mos waar hulle jou vang met die after market pryse.  :biggrin:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Firecoast on October 09, 2019, 11:12:55 am
 :sip:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: dookie on October 09, 2019, 11:18:21 am
Whale
Isle
Beef
Hooked

Makes you sound like a drunk Scotsman.

But:

Alpha
Kenny
Body

Makes you a target for a sexual abuse case.

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 09, 2019, 06:06:24 pm
Might fool some
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Vis Arend on October 09, 2019, 06:21:11 pm
 :patch:

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Vis Arend on October 09, 2019, 06:22:06 pm
 :imaposer:

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Vis Arend on October 09, 2019, 06:22:44 pm
 :biggrin:

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 11, 2019, 11:57:21 am
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: grim101 on October 11, 2019, 12:10:55 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191011/ba7fbf834a1048777f4053eaee60dadd.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191011/c15c681b22f7745294a873e76a42d4d5.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: ETS on October 11, 2019, 02:14:39 pm
 :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 11, 2019, 06:29:05 pm
Something to test out while intoxicated over the weekend.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bundu on October 11, 2019, 08:07:52 pm
.

 :imaposer: :imaposer: dit het my 'n tydjie gevat  :thumleft:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 13, 2019, 03:25:58 pm
Another one.

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Mev Vis Arend on October 13, 2019, 03:43:52 pm
 :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 13, 2019, 03:47:03 pm
Apparently, I need lots more therapy for my sex addiction
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 13, 2019, 05:04:00 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 14, 2019, 04:24:15 am
Ladies and gentlemen, an amphibious pitcher  :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: OomD on October 14, 2019, 07:57:08 am
Amphibious  :imaposer: :imaposer:

Interesting though, the mit is not ambidextrous, so does he keep another mit with him? Or does he walk out every innings with a given mit, and pitch left or right for the whole innings?
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: jaybiker on October 14, 2019, 09:28:30 am
Well, he pulls a face like an amphibian..... :biggrin:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: BigEd on October 14, 2019, 02:05:21 pm
 :patch:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 14, 2019, 02:34:43 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: punisher on October 14, 2019, 02:56:30 pm
 :laughing4:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 14, 2019, 03:09:08 pm
Amphibious  :imaposer: :imaposer:

Interesting though, the mit is not ambidextrous, so does he keep another mit with him? Or does he walk out every innings with a given mit, and pitch left or right for the whole innings?

Idk, I’ve not ever heard of him, I would assume he needs 2 mitts.

I can’t imagine having the ability to throw fastballs accurately, ambidextrously.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 14, 2019, 05:17:39 pm
True
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 14, 2019, 06:08:31 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191014/0c9f33580bf045ae95af6051d612bd91.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: cloudgazer on October 14, 2019, 07:05:05 pm
subscribed
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: VaalBaas on October 14, 2019, 09:41:35 pm
.(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191014/79ac598ce0e2686897a749fc3b0ba51a.jpg)

Sent from my ALE-L21 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: VaalBaas on October 14, 2019, 09:46:00 pm
.(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191014/6b5fa2402ffe978b356ab57c02124dbe.jpg)

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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: VaalBaas on October 14, 2019, 09:54:13 pm
.(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191014/424a4c0357abe1e72b02388ee8fa2bb5.jpg)

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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: VaalBaas on October 14, 2019, 09:55:45 pm

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191015/ae5da7b566311405e71c33471dd7a3ed.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 15, 2019, 05:27:28 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 16, 2019, 05:39:05 am
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: >Herman< on October 16, 2019, 07:46:10 am
 :laughing4:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 16, 2019, 02:47:21 pm
Godspeed to the victims of the crash, however, this has to be one of the funniest videos I've ever watched.

After the crash, information was lacking.  Some American with nothing better to do called the news agency and provided them with the following asian names for the flight crew  :imaposer: :imaposer:

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: OomD on October 16, 2019, 06:15:25 pm
Ho Lee Fuk that is funny :imaposer: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bundu on October 16, 2019, 07:49:47 pm
isn't this just amazing?
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: VaalBaas on October 16, 2019, 09:50:24 pm


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Edgar on October 17, 2019, 01:53:30 pm
  :snorting:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Edgar on October 17, 2019, 01:56:44 pm
 :ricky:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: sidetrack on October 18, 2019, 08:54:09 am
Go to Google maps on your pc and type in Randfontein
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: fixit on October 18, 2019, 08:57:17 am
Go to Google maps on your pc and type in Randfontein

 :laughing4: Ol Moegaap!
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Grunder on October 18, 2019, 08:59:40 am
Go to Google maps on your pc and type in Randfontein

 :imaposer: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 18, 2019, 03:04:13 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191018/22ecf1738a4ec42341f9d1f2e0b216aa.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 18, 2019, 03:05:38 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191018/1cfb07c96aaf1a1ef443faa1d9d92a2d.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 18, 2019, 03:06:29 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191018/16a70ddf2da59215c75df24667a8a6cd.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 19, 2019, 11:30:15 am
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: windswept on October 19, 2019, 09:04:03 pm
 :laughing4:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 20, 2019, 01:10:38 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Mev Vis Arend on October 20, 2019, 02:09:04 pm
 :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 23, 2019, 05:21:52 am
Do they mean his aim is off, a bit too high?
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 23, 2019, 05:27:40 am
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 23, 2019, 06:55:46 am
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Cracker on October 23, 2019, 08:01:38 am
 :imaposer: :imaposer: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Edgar on October 23, 2019, 09:07:17 am
.

Dis hoekom ek eers die toeter 'n paar keer druk as ek by die huis stop. Gee die man darem kans om aan te trek....... :peepwall:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Grunder on October 23, 2019, 09:13:29 am
.

Dis hoekom ek eers die toeter 'n paar keer druk as ek by die huis stop. Gee die man darem kans om aan te trek....... :peepwall:

Laat my dink aan 'n Harley advert waar die boyfriend by die huis stop instap en die girl op die bed begin vry.  Dan lê die vrou se man onder die bed  :lol8:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Edgar on October 23, 2019, 09:19:29 am
.

Dis hoekom ek eers die toeter 'n paar keer druk as ek by die huis stop. Gee die man darem kans om aan te trek....... :peepwall:

Laat my dink aan 'n Harley advert waar die boyfriend by die huis stop instap en die girl op die bed begin vry.  Dan lê die vrou se man onder die bed  :lol8:

Ek het al daardie ad gesien. Flippen funny :-)
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 24, 2019, 03:11:08 am
 :eek7:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: mike gs on October 24, 2019, 05:49:55 am
I wonder(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191024/683c5ab80d98037b197ff02b84d62d6c.jpg)

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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 24, 2019, 03:25:27 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191024/7c7b06e7e2e97603d5a5ab59a014d93c.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 24, 2019, 04:25:07 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 24, 2019, 04:28:00 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: DUSTRIDERS on October 24, 2019, 05:44:53 pm
Pan oppervlakte lyk ma grof vir my dink nie daai treiler se tyres gaan hou op 260 ;) :peepwall: :lol8:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Kortbroek on October 25, 2019, 11:02:21 pm
.

Ek het gehoor die ford moet glo voor ry dat hy kan olie lek om die oppervlak wrywing te verminder.... :pot:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 26, 2019, 03:17:59 am
 :sip:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 26, 2019, 04:51:59 am
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191026/717577c8f47700e013b36234a469bc53.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 26, 2019, 04:52:28 am
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191026/5fd43b89f85dc62d11afd940537ecb8d.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 26, 2019, 04:52:49 am
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191026/3fccf291a0b529dab53104fcc0281e1a.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 26, 2019, 04:53:24 am
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191026/511e4392a3a55e31548f78847f2d5754.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: pwt on October 26, 2019, 08:39:17 am
Go to Google maps on your pc and type in Randfontein

Had a good chuckle when I saw it, suspect that this is linked to this story on “My Broadband”

“ The City of Johannesburg has fallen victim to a cyber attack which led to its information systems being compromised.
In a post on Twitter, the city stated that it had detected a network breach and has taken appropriate actions to mitigate any potential effects.
“The City of Johannesburg has detected a network breach which resulted in unauthorised access to its information systems,” the city said.
“The incident is currently being investigated by City of Joburg cybersecurity experts, who have taken immediate and appropriate actions to reinforce security measures and mitigate any potential impacts.”
Following the hack, a number of systems have been shut down by the city as a precaution, including its website, e-services, and billing system.
The investigation is expected to take 24 hours, and the city said customers will not be able to transact on e-service or log queries on its systems for this period.
Ransom note
The Business Day reported that City of Johannesburg employees received a ransom note from a group named the Shadow Kill Hackers.
“All your servers and data have been hacked,” the note said. “We have dozens of back doors inside your city.”
“We have control of everything in your city. We also compromised all passwords and sensitive data such as finance and personal information.”
The attackers reportedly demanded a ransom of 4 bitcoin (around R435,000) to be delivered to a specific address by 28 October. If this is not delivered, the attackers said they would upload all the data onto the Internet.”
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Dorsland on October 27, 2019, 04:24:00 pm
Dis al......

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 27, 2019, 06:06:07 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191027/e2ec48602e14c990daf2139e33fa292b.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on October 27, 2019, 06:24:40 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191027/ae22a71ca1b41fec6e3021b171198ed8.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Ri on October 27, 2019, 06:31:05 pm
 :imaposer: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: OomD on October 28, 2019, 06:53:35 am
Fixed.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Dustbiter on October 28, 2019, 10:01:59 am
I know Edgar had a similar one, but found this on the internet
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: >Herman< on October 28, 2019, 11:02:20 am
Fixed.
:laughing4: :laughing4:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on October 28, 2019, 03:55:59 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Edgar on October 29, 2019, 10:38:22 am
 :laughing4:  goeie een !!!
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: ETS on October 30, 2019, 09:38:22 am
:laughing4:  goeie een !!!

Ek vang hom nie......
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: OomD on October 30, 2019, 09:51:14 am
:laughing4:  goeie een !!!

Ek vang hom nie......
Hy't 'n bedelaar wat kitaar speel vir geld se hoed gevat...
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: dookie on October 30, 2019, 09:58:15 am
:laughing4:  goeie een !!!

Ek vang hom nie......
Hy't 'n bedelaar wat kitaar speel vir geld se hoed gevat...
Jy spel Man-bun Millennial verkeerd.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Oulouis on October 30, 2019, 10:08:26 am
:laughing4:  goeie een !!!

Ek vang hom nie......
Los jou kitaar en hardloop vinniger om hom te vang. :biggrin: :biggrin:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: ETS on October 30, 2019, 10:28:41 am
:laughing4:  goeie een !!!

Ek vang hom nie......
Los jou kitaar en hardloop vinniger om hom te vang. :biggrin: :biggrin:

 :thumleft: :laughing4: Dankie- ek is maar onnosel..... Prieska se bedelaars het nie kitare nie!
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Geel Kat on October 30, 2019, 10:39:28 am

 :thumleft: :laughing4: Dankie- ek is maar onnosel..... Prieska se bedelaars het nie kitare nie!

Hulle het net meubels op laybuy...
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on November 01, 2019, 06:24:19 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: 2StrokeDan on November 01, 2019, 09:57:18 pm
Fixed.

 :imaposer: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Edgar on November 06, 2019, 04:18:54 pm
 O0
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on November 09, 2019, 04:25:32 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191109/1f547ec15677cbdc79b157947c2652f8.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: BuRP on November 11, 2019, 02:41:52 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191109/1f547ec15677cbdc79b157947c2652f8.jpg)

Now THAT is pure determination!  :thumleft:
 :lol8:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: jaybiker on November 11, 2019, 04:41:39 pm
Not yet another new fangled cornering limiter device? ??? Bloody electronics gone mad I tell ya!  :patch:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on November 14, 2019, 09:42:04 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Edgar on November 25, 2019, 10:36:01 am
   8)
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: CycleC on November 26, 2019, 12:57:13 pm
 :bueller:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: I&horse on November 26, 2019, 01:06:59 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Fudmucker on December 02, 2019, 05:58:31 am
The Royal Family Christmas sing-along this year...?
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: OomD on December 02, 2019, 06:39:48 am
 :laughing4: :imaposer:

Now I've got that song stuck in my head.  :P ;D
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Fudmucker on December 02, 2019, 07:10:06 am
Many so-called nursery rhymes were intended as a political satire against historical events.
Commoners working as nannies and child minders for privileged parents put scathing words to rhymes and taught them to the kids,
who would then sing them at inappropriate occasions within earshot of socially connected people.

The Duke of York marching 10 000 men up to the top of the hill and marching them down again was about the War of the Roses, if I remember correctly.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Welsh on December 02, 2019, 07:14:10 am
Many so-called nursery rhymes were intended as a political satire against historical events.
Commoners working as nannies and child minders for privileged parents put scathing words to rhymes and taught them to the kids,
who would then sing them at inappropriate occasions within earshot of socially connected people.

The Duke of York marching 10 000 men up to the top of the hill and marching them down again was about the War of the Roses, if I remember correctly.

Ring a Ring of Roses, is a description of the symptoms of the Bubonic Plague. :sip:

 
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Gerrard on December 02, 2019, 10:38:45 am
:bueller:

 :lol8: Was painstakingly building a 1/4 scale model plane once. Two eldest were about 7 and 8 years old playing at the other end of the workbench. I dropped a 12V battery(used for jigging) through the turtle, deck smashing it. They looked at each other, at me, and my son said 'RUN' They knew what was coming  :lol8:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: fixit on December 02, 2019, 10:58:36 am
:bueller:

 :lol8: Was painstakingly building a 1/4 scale model plane once. Two eldest were about 7 and 8 years old playing at the other end of the workbench. I dropped a 12V battery(used for jigging) through the turtle, deck smashing it. They looked at each other, at me, and my son said 'RUN' They knew what was coming  :lol8:

 :laughing4:.. I generally don't get angry with things, but I do curse the people who made them...
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bie on December 02, 2019, 07:29:53 pm
Smirk..
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: windswept on December 02, 2019, 10:04:49 pm
 :ricky:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Sláinte Mhaith on December 02, 2019, 10:20:55 pm
.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Fudmucker on December 03, 2019, 08:11:08 am
SPOILER ALERT...!
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: JFE on December 03, 2019, 08:37:05 am
.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191203/25932d80370ac824337b0d8987583f9b.jpg)

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191203/b176816ffd24b759ead46d5699e0f720.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: dual on January 12, 2020, 10:22:12 pm
MEN ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE
This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.
 
Men Are Just Happier People! What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - R10,000. Tux rental - R300.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is R39.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache... You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes... No wonder men are happier!
 
NICKNAME. If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and Seán go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wild man.
 
EATING OUT. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Seán will each throw in R100, even though it's only for R182.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
 
MONEY. A man will pay R20 for a R10 item he needs. A woman will pay R10 for a R20 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
 
BATHROOMS. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
 
ARGUMENTS. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
FUTURE. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
MARRIAGE. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
 
DRESSING UP. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
NATURAL. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
 
OFFSPRING. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 
So, send this to the women who have a sense of humour, and to the men who will enjoy reading it
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Matewis on January 13, 2020, 07:43:09 am
SUB
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: JFE on February 03, 2020, 12:27:11 pm
Corona laughs
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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: JFE on February 03, 2020, 12:27:38 pm
.
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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: fixit on February 17, 2020, 07:44:53 am
 :biggrin:

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: fixit on February 20, 2020, 08:30:01 am
So yesterday 8 plain clothes cops storm into our factory and grab one of our drivers. All walking with sidearms with safety flaps unclipped.
They dragged him off and were gone in flash.
The stories started doing their rounds almost immediately, from murder suspect to using our trucks to steal water pumps and car batteries.
The morning he is back at work, so I ask him what the hell happened?
Tells me he bought a cell phone from a swap shop that was apparently stolen and they tracked it to him.
Anyway they nailed the shopkeeper and let my driver go. I don't know wheather to laugh or cry? :o

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: SwampDonkey on June 17, 2020, 08:05:38 pm
So yesterday 8 plain clothes cops storm into our factory and grab one of our drivers. All walking with sidearms with safety flaps unclipped.
They dragged him off and were gone in flash.
The stories started doing their rounds almost immediately, from murder suspect to using our trucks to steal water pumps and car batteries.
The morning he is back at work, so I ask him what the hell happened?
Tells me he bought a cell phone from a swap shop that was apparently stolen and they tracked it to him.
Anyway they nailed the shopkeeper and let my driver go. I don't know wheather to laugh or cry? :o

8 cops for a stolen cell phone???  :eek7: :eek7: :lol8:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: katana on June 18, 2020, 09:37:43 am
So yesterday 8 plain clothes cops storm into our factory and grab one of our drivers. All walking with sidearms with safety flaps unclipped.
They dragged him off and were gone in flash.
The stories started doing their rounds almost immediately, from murder suspect to using our trucks to steal water pumps and car batteries.
The morning he is back at work, so I ask him what the hell happened?
Tells me he bought a cell phone from a swap shop that was apparently stolen and they tracked it to him.
Anyway they nailed the shopkeeper and let my driver go. I don't know wheather to laugh or cry? :o

8 cops for a stolen cell phone???  :eek7: :eek7: :lol8:
Probably a violent crime when it was stolen.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Fudmucker on June 20, 2020, 04:27:12 pm
So yesterday 8 plain clothes cops storm into our factory and grab one of our drivers. All walking with sidearms with safety flaps unclipped.
They dragged him off and were gone in flash.
The stories started doing their rounds almost immediately, from murder suspect to using our trucks to steal water pumps and car batteries.
The morning he is back at work, so I ask him what the hell happened?
Tells me he bought a cell phone from a swap shop that was apparently stolen and they tracked it to him.
Anyway they nailed the shopkeeper and let my driver go. I don't know wheather to laugh or cry? :o

The first I have ever heard of SAPS following up on a stolen cell phone.
They can all be traced.
They just never are.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: VaalBaas on June 22, 2020, 01:55:29 am
So yesterday 8 plain clothes cops storm into our factory and grab one of our drivers. All walking with sidearms with safety flaps unclipped.
They dragged him off and were gone in flash.
The stories started doing their rounds almost immediately, from murder suspect to using our trucks to steal water pumps and car batteries.
The morning he is back at work, so I ask him what the hell happened?
Tells me he bought a cell phone from a swap shop that was apparently stolen and they tracked it to him.
Anyway they nailed the shopkeeper and let my driver go. I don't know wheather to laugh or cry? :o

The first I have ever heard of SAPS following up on a stolen cell phone.
They can all be traced.
They just never are.

Yes they do :lol8: :lol8:

Few years back my phone was stolen on my counter in the butchery. Got the info of who had it, the lot. Gave it to the police to go get the phone, because that would result in minor injuries.......Nothing happened.

Few days later, de moer in and gatvol for this lack of service I phoned them again telling them. I have catched the guy, got my phone back, but there is a slight problem in which way I coloured the story a bit and that he is tied and locked in my smoke room.

Now I cannot remember the response time, but 3 vans with 4 cops and 2 counselors were there in a few minutes.

I was then threatened with some nasty words, but in the end they did understand my frustration. Never got the phone back anyway

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: chicco on June 30, 2020, 01:48:27 pm
dit help ook om n paar crackers te skiet as jy hulle bel oor iets en se hulle kan maar rustig vat jy het alles onder beheer.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: IceCreamMan on November 11, 2020, 02:36:03 pm
've just been rebuilding a GPZ750 engine. I didn't let it bother me when one of the piston rings snapped when I was putting the barrels on. I just stuck the bits of it in anyway. My  mate has called me a cheapskate in the past, but this time he says I'm really scraping the barrel.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Eisbein on November 11, 2020, 02:52:22 pm
've just been rebuilding a GPZ750 engine. I didn't let it bother me when one of the piston rings snapped when I was putting the barrels on. I just stuck the bits of it in anyway. My  mate has called me a cheapskate in the past, but this time he says I'm really scraping the barrel.


:biggrin: :biggrin:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: roxenz on November 15, 2020, 06:53:04 pm
Saw this in my Linked In feed today. While I wish the young lady every success with her new venture, I also wish someone will advise her to consider changing the abbreviated name of her company...
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Gypsybaron on November 15, 2020, 07:03:16 pm
Saw this in my Linked In feed today. While I wish the young lady every success with her new venture, I also wish someone will advise her to consider changing the abbreviated name of her company...

Eish - Sy weet wat prokureurs deur hulle kliënte se ore doen...
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Fudmucker on November 20, 2020, 11:02:37 am
I would have been worse if it was Nhlosenhle + Associates Attorneys Inc...  :sip:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: IceCreamMan on December 25, 2020, 12:46:38 am
Yip
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Karel84 on December 25, 2020, 07:11:45 am
Yip
Funny because...?

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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: IceCreamMan on December 25, 2020, 09:43:48 am
Yip
Funny because...?

Sent from my SNE-LX2 using Tapatalk
Cos it’s Christmas Eve
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: punisher on December 25, 2020, 10:12:17 am
bruce will fix it
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Mr Zog on December 25, 2020, 04:25:29 pm
Yip
Funny because...?

Sent from my SNE-LX2 using Tapatalk
Cos it’s Christmas Eve

Yippee kayaye MOFO...  :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Grunder on December 25, 2020, 05:03:58 pm
Yip
Funny because...?

Sent from my SNE-LX2 using Tapatalk
Cos it’s Christmas Eve

Yippee kayaye MOFO...  :imaposer:
You can't make these things up
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: IceCreamMan on December 30, 2020, 10:35:58 pm
True story. In more ways than one.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Rob_A on January 17, 2021, 10:26:38 am
Some signatures - lot of them from here.


"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups". - George Carlin.

I DONT HAVE ANYTHING WITTY TO PUT HERE

I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

"My passion for riding has exceeded my ability"...me

"I'll tell you what Jesus would do! He'd punch you in your fat, smug face, that's what!" -uncredited author in The Cleveland Freetimes

It's one thing to tempt Fate, and another thing entirely to spill its drink and step on its blue suede shoes.

Gravity - It's not just a good idea, It's the law.

There is no plan.....so nothing can go wrong.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.
Robert Wilensky, speech at a 1996 conference

"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk over or around it, and carry on." Winston S. Churchill

Sometimes I believe what I see. Other times I see what I believe. Occasionally, I don't even look.
-Me

Wherever we go, there we are.

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
-- Bertrand Russell

To make an apple pie from scratch,
you must first invent the universe.
-- Carl Sagan

"I am in the prime of senility." Ben Franklin

Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Trophy Husband

“If at first you don’t succeed……………skydiving is not for you!”

Imminent desire can greatly sway self control. . .

I'm their leader...Which way did they go???

"It's not that I don't care. It's just that I am really good at compartmentalizing."

"Those who wander are not necessarily lost." -Joseph Stine

"Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause ? you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles."----- John Wayne

The hell with the long way around, take the hard way across.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.....A. Einstein

"zen-like in it's near perfect balance of imperfection"
-me

"I reject your reality and substitute my own"
-Adam Savage

Overheard at a local campground:
"I'll talk to you any damn way I want unless you've got a gun or a badge!"

Never mind the Mule being blind, just load the god dammed wagon....

Every day I break my previous record of consecutive days still alive.

"A man grows most tired while standing still."

If life was easy, everybody would have one...

"Life's a reach, then you jibe"

I's say you are good to go, as long as you don't take any canoe trips or play the banjo.
"Why you boys wanna mess with the river?"

- I don't want a pickle, I just wanna ride on my motorsickle...

"So what you gonna do when the novelty is gone.."-- Joy Division

The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.
- Jack London

But I tried, didn't I? God damn it. At least I did that.
- "Mack" McMurphy

 A biker without full-face protection should only ride as fast as the slowest hornet.

Experience is something you usually get soon after you really needed it.

Psst ... I know why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.

What could possibly go wrong?

IT'S A SMALL WORLD UNTIL YOU HAVE TO WALK HOME.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

"We all start out with an empty bag of experience, and a full bag of luck... the idea is to fill the bag of experience before the bag of luck becomes empty"  (Micky)

"Maturity is highly overrated.."

“Science is the belief in the ignorance of the experts” - Richard P. Feynman

Insanity is a direct result of to much reality

Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil. - Thomas Mann

Think twice, speak once

Incompetent people often lack the skills necessary to recognize competence in others

We are born wet, naked and hungry. Then things get worse!

"In the eyes of the Average, average will always be considered Outstanding..."

Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups....

My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgement.

"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet."
Bob Dylan

"Life's odyssey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out,shouting,"...holy shit...what a ride!"

The mouth of a perfectly contented man is filled with beer. -- 2200 BC Egyptian inscription

"Take it back to the dealer. Just like dogs, if you don't catch them in the act they never learn."

I spent all my money on Land Rovers, off road moto’s, drink and women...the rest I just wasted....

Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat

If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.

Whether the glass is half-empty, or half-full, depends on which half is yours

When all hell breaks loose I want to hang out with the gun owners

Famous last words..."Hold my beer and watch this!"

Sanity is relative; here in the asylum is where I belong.

"A closed mouth gathers no feet"

ya'll just need to remember that the difference between genius and stupidity is......genius has limits.

Truth is incontrovertable; malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it; but in the end there it is

"To become old & wise, one must first be young & stupid."

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that get laid.

It isn't the conditions its the decisions

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcyclists.

"I couldn't wait for success, so I went on without it."

The older I get the faster I was...

When it's all said and done, More will be said.

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, “My God, you're right!
I never would've thought of that!”

Never pick a fight with old men, they don't fight back, they just kill you and move on (unless they drop their piece).


A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.-Thomas Jefferson

"Handle every situation like a dog would....
If you can't eat it or screw it, just piss on it and walk away."

"There is cowardice and foolhardiness, and courage is right in the middle."

God gave us shinbones so we can find the trailer hitch in the dark.

I once asked a liberal "What is it with you people? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, "Well, I don't know and I don't care.'"

It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession, but I believe that it has a striking resemblance to the first.

Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bundu on January 17, 2021, 06:19:06 pm
Some signatures - lot of them from here.
........
I've noticed that most, if not all, conservative posts here, get the below signature....  :biggrin:

The following users thanked this post: RobC
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: 2StrokeDan on January 17, 2021, 08:36:06 pm
Some signatures - lot of them from here.
........
I've noticed that most, if not all, conservative posts here, get the below signature....  :biggrin:

The following users thanked this post: RobC


Don't be jealous. Rob does not even answer your desperate mails. :biggrin:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bundu on January 18, 2021, 08:16:55 am
Some signatures - lot of them from here.
........
I've noticed that most, if not all, conservative posts here, get the below signature....  :biggrin:

The following users thanked this post: RobC


Don't be jealous. Rob does not even answer your desperate mails. :biggrin:
He's become a bit of a snob  ;)
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bill the Bong on January 18, 2021, 01:11:13 pm
Some signatures - lot of them from here.
........
I've noticed that most, if not all, conservative posts here, get the below signature....  :biggrin:

The following users thanked this post: RobC


Don't be jealous. Rob does not even answer your desperate mails. :biggrin:

Imagine if the Thanks does not count for your tally if it was received in Jou Ma and Church and Religion.  Lots of people will have much less Thanks in the cupboard.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: BOZO on January 22, 2021, 01:48:36 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210122/54a1aa3fa2b56b5535839c0cdfcba347.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Gerrard on February 05, 2021, 09:47:42 am
True !
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: ETS on February 05, 2021, 12:13:21 pm
My motto!
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Gerrard on February 05, 2021, 08:56:58 pm
My motto!

Ja nee, maar ons mag mos nie  :lol8:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: IceCreamMan on February 08, 2021, 02:08:58 pm
Anyone know a Liverpool supporter, looking four one
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Psycho Porra on February 08, 2021, 02:30:28 pm
Anyone know a Liverpool supporter, looking four one
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: threeper on February 08, 2021, 02:34:12 pm


the bit at the end is brilliant
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: BOZO on February 08, 2021, 09:30:50 pm


the bit at the end is brilliant
Dude... 35 minutes.... no, just no.


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Ri on February 08, 2021, 11:30:23 pm


the bit at the end is brilliant
Dude... 35 minutes.... no, just no.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

 :laughing4: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: jaybiker on February 09, 2021, 09:16:09 am
'Zactly, this is comedy club. Cartoons and one liners. Life's too short.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: TrailBlazer on February 12, 2021, 05:51:16 am
Hhhmmm...
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: jaybiker on February 12, 2021, 08:47:20 am
Hhhmmm...




I know that guy, and all his friends. Alan Keah, Phillip Sedd, Stanley Naiffe, and Bobby Jahn.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Odd Dog on February 12, 2021, 08:53:09 am
You forgot Screw the Driver.
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Dorsland on February 12, 2021, 09:04:11 am
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210122/54a1aa3fa2b56b5535839c0cdfcba347.jpg)


Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Dorsland on February 12, 2021, 09:06:02 am
Hhhmmm...

Ek sien nie 'n GPS op daai skoeter nie so Tenmil gaan verlore raak.  :imaposer: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Dorsland on February 12, 2021, 09:06:45 am


I know that guy, and all his friends. Alan Keah, Phillip Sedd, Stanley Naiffe, and Bobby Jahn.

 :imaposer: :imaposer: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: fixit on February 12, 2021, 09:44:43 am
⁶ :o
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: jaybiker on February 12, 2021, 10:18:12 am
Hhhmmm...

Ek sien nie 'n GPS op daai skoeter nie so Tenmil gaan verlore raak.  :imaposer: :imaposer:



Dis hoekom my sokhets gaan altyd verloer.

Maar moenie worry nie, ek gaan send Fred Cutter en Tommy Barr vir hom te soek.  :biggrin:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: madmax on March 03, 2021, 11:15:06 am
not quite right but better than typing subscribe
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: JFE on March 03, 2021, 11:51:32 am
The new normal?

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210303/3e5fcba985e8f1720e492151e864ffbe.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on March 03, 2021, 07:26:59 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210303/c3aaa033f48ed4d156a9e86abee8b820.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: BOZO on March 05, 2021, 08:27:46 pm
Bottle of Merlot

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually

attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.

So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from

the gentleman who is seated over there.' .and indicated the sender

with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few

seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to

him by a note.

The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note

from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a

Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches

in your pants '

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own

in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed

him to deliver it to the lady.

It read: 'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear

to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and

a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have a beautiful homes in

Aspen , Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over

twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio.

But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off

three inches. Just send the bottle back.


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: big oil on March 05, 2021, 09:58:54 pm
 :laughing4:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Gene on March 09, 2021, 05:15:21 am
 :imaposer:i :imaposer: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: THROTTLE JOCKEY on March 09, 2021, 04:24:58 pm
 :sip:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: BOZO on March 09, 2021, 09:01:38 pm
A man sees a sign outside a house -
'Talking Dog For Sale .'
He rings the bell, the owner appears
And tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk,
The man asks, "So, tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says,
"Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.
I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders.
Because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping,
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years."
"But the jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger
So I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport
to do some undercover security work,
Wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings
and was awarded several medals.
I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man was amazed
He goes back into the house and asks the owner
how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10.....!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing!
Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard,
He's never been out of the garden."


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Grunder on March 10, 2021, 03:19:03 pm
A man sees a sign outside a house -
'Talking Dog For Sale .'
He rings the bell, the owner appears
And tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk,
The man asks, "So, tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says,
"Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.
I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders.
Because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping,
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years."
"But the jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger
So I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport
to do some undercover security work,
Wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings
and was awarded several medals.
I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man was amazed
He goes back into the house and asks the owner
how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10.....!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing!
Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard,
He's never been out of the garden."


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 :biggrin: :biggrin:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Bundu on March 10, 2021, 06:49:25 pm
 :lol8: :lol8: reminds me of talking snakes, bushes and donkeys  ;)
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: MegaPix on March 16, 2021, 02:23:25 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210303/c3aaa033f48ed4d156a9e86abee8b820.jpg)

 :imaposer: :imaposer: :imaposer: :imaposer:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: BOZO on March 16, 2021, 09:11:23 pm

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210316/74d8754fed32db52067c4f4f7c5d3749.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210316/facfde62e4c8b7fac3daeb0e1c63dc52.jpg)


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Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Welsh on April 05, 2021, 09:58:40 am
😎
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Dorsland on April 05, 2021, 10:00:31 am
They may need to issue barf bags though.  :peepwall: :lol8:
Title: Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
Post by: Welsh on April 05, 2021, 10:03:10 am
 :sip: