EATMYKTM.
Race Dog
Here are a few of the characters you might encounter in a group ride, and although I am not a psychologist, a few tips on how to handle them. I think I fall somewhere between Camel Man, Father Frank and Fast Freddie. Oh Ja...and Feel Farkall Fanie! :thumleft:
1. Fast Freddy. This guy does everything at breakneck speed. He is flying around corners and over humps, and he is very quick to tell you how quick he has done this road before, and how fast he was going down that straight stretch this morning. Maybe he is good enough to do this, but he is a danger to himself, and any oncoming traffic. It is good to remind him that if he has a serious accident, it would be the end of the ride for everybody in the group. It is also better to send him off scouting way in front. If he is out of sight, he won’t add pressure to the guys following him to try and keep up. He will also slow down as soon as there are no spectators to see how fast he is. After waiting for about an hour for the group at each of the turnoffs, he will soon slow down and rather stay for the company. When you have 2 Fast Freddies in your group, make sure you have the emergency numbers ready.
2. Bling Billy. This one has properly blinged out his bike with decals, custom paint jobs and some chrome thrown in for good measure. You might as well ask this guy to sign a waiver, as behold the tantrum if his bike gets scratched or dirty. He should rather stick with the tarmac riders. If he does scratch or dirty his bike, try and be sympathetic. Don’t laugh. You will hurt his feelings.
3. Dreaming Dave. Try as you might, you cannot hold this guy’s attention. You have to constantly remind him to get ready to go, and get on the bike, and not to forget anything. He is also the guy that will get lost the moment you lose sight of him.
4. Go Go Gadget. This guy has it all. The bike does not have an empty spot. It is mounted full of everything from all the biking catalogues. You will have to humour him for quite some time while he explains the use and absolute need for all his gadgets. It would be good to keep him as a friend, because he will have something to fix your bike when it breaks down. He also might have ice for the drinks later.
5. Camel Man. This is the tough guy of the group. Nothing fazes him. He just takes problems in his stride, and does not mind to tough it out when needed. He is your go to guy when difficulties hit.
6. Slow Joe. This guy is always late. And always the last to get back on the bike and going after each stop. You need to send him a separate invite with an earlier start time. Keep him and Fast Freddie well apart from each other.
7. Hunting Helen. You need to be very careful of this lady when there are couples around. She rides a bike just well enough so that she can join a ride with guys to snare. You need to appoint a permanent watch on her, so that you can keep her very far away from any attached guys and their pillion partners. This will be a ride breaker.
8. Manny the mechanic. His bike is always in disrepair, as he does not take his work home. He breaks down all the time, and if you are lucky he breaks down before he makes the starting point. If he does make it, Try and keep him going, as he might be the only guy that can fix your bike when you have an unforeseen breakdown.
9. Sergeant Sam. He never made a higher rank, as he has a problem with authority. He always has a better way of organizing and managing the ride. If he is single, put him in charge of Hunting Helen.
10. Fender Bender. This guy falls over at the slightest sign of difficulty. He even falls over when he stops. Make sure he packs lightly, and let Camel Man ride behind him.
11. Moaner Morgan. Nothing is good enough for this guy. He builds sentences with moans, and he can eventually get you down. Don’t try and keep him happy, it’s not possible. Rather understand that he never got taught proper grammar, and that he cannot make sentences without moans. Keep him away from Camel Man.
12. Bigger and Better Benny. Everything he has done, does and will ever do is bigger and better than anyone else. And everyone has to know about it. It will eventually get too much. Let him tag along with Camel Man during the ride, and put him with Chatting Charlie during stops.
13. Chatting Charlie. This guy will talk the ears off a statue. Let him run at the back of the group, so that he can keep his helmet on as long as possible. Team him up with Bigger and Better Benny as soon as he gets the helmet off.
14. Timetable Tony. Separate this guy from his watch, and do not tell him the time. He will be timing stops to the seconds, and continuously ask “are we there yet?” Put him in charge of Slow Joe’s time keeping.They might cancel each other out.
15. Alcoholic Alec. This guy will always ride, as long as he can use it as an excuse to have a few drinks. The closer he gets to the campsite, the faster he rides, and his main purpose will be to get pissed as quickly as possible. The next morning he might be difficult to get going. If he has a partner, keep Hunting Helen away from him. Watch him at stops, so that he does not sneak in a few early ones.
16. Nervous Nige. He is constantly nervous of any harm, damage or dirt coming close to his bike. If he gets any dirt on his bike, he wants to burst into tears. If he drops the bike, the scratch on the crash bars mean the end of his world. Try and keep the route easy and no mud. Keep Camel Man away from Nigel.
17. Feel Farkall Fanie'..... Will wake up to go wth for a ride.... or not...... Will wash his bike... Or not... Will fix his bike... Or not......
18. OCD Doreen. At camp everything must be just so. neatly packed and parked in rows.
19. Father Frank. First concern is everyones safety. Bit anal about it sometimes, but tries to keep everone happy. Does not go out of his way to annjoy the group. Easy going and tries to ensure everyone enjoys the ride, etc.
20. Last Minute Larry. REALLY keen on joining a weekend o/nite ride, but fears committing too early for a whole host of mostly valid reasons...
21. Piet Promise, always first to put his name on a list, but you never see him on a ride.
22. Arthur ATGATT, calls everyone, not wearing a neckbrace all the time, an idiot. He will find a friend in Nervous Nige
23. Doctor Rooster - Do not stop behind this guy. You will recognize him by the serious knobbly backtyre and loud exhaust. Should not ride close to Bling Billy
24. Lazy Larry, This dude is always trying to look busy but doing squat. He waits for all the work to be done and then offers his help!!!
25. Hardly dangerous Dave. Thats the one with the brand new black leather jacket,iphone and a "boepens". he probably an executive manager, and trying hard to relay his office authority to the "dangerous and exciting" lifestyle of bikers , but quickly realises he is a fat fish outta water, and then over compensates by moving around in large numbered groups of riders with the same dilemma.
26. Smoke break Sam. Every 10 mins. Team him up with Timekeeping Tony.
27. Gloria- The riding goddess. Pitches up, says nothing and make 90 percent of the male riders look like beginners. Keep away from Camel man and Fast Freddie. Unless they can handle a knocked Ego!
1. Fast Freddy. This guy does everything at breakneck speed. He is flying around corners and over humps, and he is very quick to tell you how quick he has done this road before, and how fast he was going down that straight stretch this morning. Maybe he is good enough to do this, but he is a danger to himself, and any oncoming traffic. It is good to remind him that if he has a serious accident, it would be the end of the ride for everybody in the group. It is also better to send him off scouting way in front. If he is out of sight, he won’t add pressure to the guys following him to try and keep up. He will also slow down as soon as there are no spectators to see how fast he is. After waiting for about an hour for the group at each of the turnoffs, he will soon slow down and rather stay for the company. When you have 2 Fast Freddies in your group, make sure you have the emergency numbers ready.
2. Bling Billy. This one has properly blinged out his bike with decals, custom paint jobs and some chrome thrown in for good measure. You might as well ask this guy to sign a waiver, as behold the tantrum if his bike gets scratched or dirty. He should rather stick with the tarmac riders. If he does scratch or dirty his bike, try and be sympathetic. Don’t laugh. You will hurt his feelings.
3. Dreaming Dave. Try as you might, you cannot hold this guy’s attention. You have to constantly remind him to get ready to go, and get on the bike, and not to forget anything. He is also the guy that will get lost the moment you lose sight of him.
4. Go Go Gadget. This guy has it all. The bike does not have an empty spot. It is mounted full of everything from all the biking catalogues. You will have to humour him for quite some time while he explains the use and absolute need for all his gadgets. It would be good to keep him as a friend, because he will have something to fix your bike when it breaks down. He also might have ice for the drinks later.
5. Camel Man. This is the tough guy of the group. Nothing fazes him. He just takes problems in his stride, and does not mind to tough it out when needed. He is your go to guy when difficulties hit.
6. Slow Joe. This guy is always late. And always the last to get back on the bike and going after each stop. You need to send him a separate invite with an earlier start time. Keep him and Fast Freddie well apart from each other.
7. Hunting Helen. You need to be very careful of this lady when there are couples around. She rides a bike just well enough so that she can join a ride with guys to snare. You need to appoint a permanent watch on her, so that you can keep her very far away from any attached guys and their pillion partners. This will be a ride breaker.
8. Manny the mechanic. His bike is always in disrepair, as he does not take his work home. He breaks down all the time, and if you are lucky he breaks down before he makes the starting point. If he does make it, Try and keep him going, as he might be the only guy that can fix your bike when you have an unforeseen breakdown.
9. Sergeant Sam. He never made a higher rank, as he has a problem with authority. He always has a better way of organizing and managing the ride. If he is single, put him in charge of Hunting Helen.
10. Fender Bender. This guy falls over at the slightest sign of difficulty. He even falls over when he stops. Make sure he packs lightly, and let Camel Man ride behind him.
11. Moaner Morgan. Nothing is good enough for this guy. He builds sentences with moans, and he can eventually get you down. Don’t try and keep him happy, it’s not possible. Rather understand that he never got taught proper grammar, and that he cannot make sentences without moans. Keep him away from Camel Man.
12. Bigger and Better Benny. Everything he has done, does and will ever do is bigger and better than anyone else. And everyone has to know about it. It will eventually get too much. Let him tag along with Camel Man during the ride, and put him with Chatting Charlie during stops.
13. Chatting Charlie. This guy will talk the ears off a statue. Let him run at the back of the group, so that he can keep his helmet on as long as possible. Team him up with Bigger and Better Benny as soon as he gets the helmet off.
14. Timetable Tony. Separate this guy from his watch, and do not tell him the time. He will be timing stops to the seconds, and continuously ask “are we there yet?” Put him in charge of Slow Joe’s time keeping.They might cancel each other out.
15. Alcoholic Alec. This guy will always ride, as long as he can use it as an excuse to have a few drinks. The closer he gets to the campsite, the faster he rides, and his main purpose will be to get pissed as quickly as possible. The next morning he might be difficult to get going. If he has a partner, keep Hunting Helen away from him. Watch him at stops, so that he does not sneak in a few early ones.
16. Nervous Nige. He is constantly nervous of any harm, damage or dirt coming close to his bike. If he gets any dirt on his bike, he wants to burst into tears. If he drops the bike, the scratch on the crash bars mean the end of his world. Try and keep the route easy and no mud. Keep Camel Man away from Nigel.
17. Feel Farkall Fanie'..... Will wake up to go wth for a ride.... or not...... Will wash his bike... Or not... Will fix his bike... Or not......
18. OCD Doreen. At camp everything must be just so. neatly packed and parked in rows.
19. Father Frank. First concern is everyones safety. Bit anal about it sometimes, but tries to keep everone happy. Does not go out of his way to annjoy the group. Easy going and tries to ensure everyone enjoys the ride, etc.
20. Last Minute Larry. REALLY keen on joining a weekend o/nite ride, but fears committing too early for a whole host of mostly valid reasons...
21. Piet Promise, always first to put his name on a list, but you never see him on a ride.
22. Arthur ATGATT, calls everyone, not wearing a neckbrace all the time, an idiot. He will find a friend in Nervous Nige
23. Doctor Rooster - Do not stop behind this guy. You will recognize him by the serious knobbly backtyre and loud exhaust. Should not ride close to Bling Billy
24. Lazy Larry, This dude is always trying to look busy but doing squat. He waits for all the work to be done and then offers his help!!!
25. Hardly dangerous Dave. Thats the one with the brand new black leather jacket,iphone and a "boepens". he probably an executive manager, and trying hard to relay his office authority to the "dangerous and exciting" lifestyle of bikers , but quickly realises he is a fat fish outta water, and then over compensates by moving around in large numbered groups of riders with the same dilemma.
26. Smoke break Sam. Every 10 mins. Team him up with Timekeeping Tony.
27. Gloria- The riding goddess. Pitches up, says nothing and make 90 percent of the male riders look like beginners. Keep away from Camel man and Fast Freddie. Unless they can handle a knocked Ego!
