Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register

Author Topic: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola  (Read 56804 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.


Offline onderbroek

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: Zero (all models)
    Location: Gauteng
  • Posts: 1,785
  • Thanked: 17 times
  • not a GLOBAL MODERATOR
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #301 on: October 09, 2013, 03:23:40 pm »
This RR wins on so many levels
hak vrystaat
 

Offline Beserker

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: AJS (all models)
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 4,554
  • Thanked: 33 times
  • Agito ergo sum
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #302 on: October 09, 2013, 03:35:03 pm »
This RR wins on so many levels

Even Winston and Adolf   :3some:

Haha. Now that's the spirit.
My Ride  :ricky:  Angola   Namibia  Northern Cape  Kids
 

Offline BlueBull2007

  • Caribbean
  • Global Moderator
  • Bachelor Dog
  • ***
  • Bike: AJS (all models)
    Location: Other
  • Posts: 10,295
  • Thanked: 312 times
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #303 on: October 09, 2013, 03:41:29 pm »
Rally nut. What could possibly go wrong?
Living the Rally Dream - Ride Report
Current bike: KTM 350 EXC   Previous bikes:  2010 WR450F, 2006 KTM450EXC,KTM 450RR, BMW800GS, KTM450EXC, BMW650 GS, BMW650 Dakar, and Honda XR250
 

Offline MechanicalCamel

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 690 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 142
  • 2 humps are better than 1
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #304 on: October 09, 2013, 05:09:42 pm »
It’s a trippy thing wrapping up a bike trip like this. Not that we were returning from an Arctic expedition or chartering a new path through the Amazon (although that sounds fun) but there had been a fair few unforeseen events, good and bad, delightful and disastrous. A lifetime ago at Ruacana we would never have predicted where we were now; freezing cold in the middle of the night about to drive down a road that might not exist.

I guess that’s the upside of loose planning – there’s an adventure around every corner. Nasty surprises are an inherent part of mad adventure; if they weren’t everyone would do them. Risk-averse folks prefer to zero the chances of a bad outcome, so they plan the bejezuz out of their trips. That works for them, cool. Personally, I find that a bit too predictable, which for me quickly becomes boring. Other folks like to deliberately put themselves in situations of near complete chaos, just to see if anyone dies. It’s exciting and hilarious to be around and wonderfully free…. and sometimes you end up missing a trip cause your bike breaks down. There’s a downside whichever way you roll. I’m sure many reading this have a firm preference, and that diversity is awesome. As long as no one tries to convince others of the superiority of a specific path, we’re all set for happy days. Relative to my special band of travel goons, I’m probably a little on the risk averse side. This trip definitely gave me a nudge to loosen up a bit and wing it. And wing it we did. Straight on into the Namibian night.



You’ll recall that the Panda had added some garments to his usual riding attire (and had mysteriously acquired a rifle)



The sleeping-bag-ensconced Midget was looking a touch more rotund than usual



Back on the campaign trail we came to a sign, a blessed sign, a sign like no other, a sign like a Noah finding 2000 umbrellas and some wood on his doorstep. The sign said, “go this way and you shall get to where you want to go – 230kms”. In choreographed cliché, we all raised a triumphant fist in the air and gave a big shout out to our guardian deities.

By this stage we were flying in pretty tight formation. Max’s headlights were bouncing off his origami-ed fairing so he was blinded by an orange sun right in front of his nose. I had my Darth Vader visor on so had a choice of either frostbite from an open visor or the visibility of a rectal probe. Buttercup has a bic lighter for a headlight and the Midget was near the end of his reserves by this point. Our genius plan was to pool resources; my headlight, Max’s eyes, and both of our taillights. I drove 30cm off the Panda’s back wheel (foot resting casually on his pannier), providing the light for Max (his was off). With my foot on his bag I could drive by feel so slipped into a meditative trance with my eyes closed, a technique I can highly recommend to restore inner balance. The Midge then had 2 taillights to target lock onto. The (blindingly obvious) downside to this arrangement was that if anything happened, it was going to happen to all of us, Lock, Stock, and 3 Shpangled Bikes. We were too cold, tired and stupid to think of a better solution, which would have been for Max and I to swap bikes or helmets, but then you wouldn’t have a story about 3 idiots to ridicule at your pleasure.

To be honest, this was the dumbest and most dangerous thing we did on the whole trip. If the infamous Donkey of Death had been chilling on the road it would have been catastrophic, but it wasn’t, and we were fine, and we’ll only do it once more. Max put in a champion effort. He was clearly in a fair bit of pain but he charged on at the front and took us with him – I’m very grateful to him for that.

And then, all of a sudden, without the remotest bit of fanfare, we were there. Back in Opuwo, whooping along the main road, high fives over speed humps, and back to the lodge to demand they reopen the bar and serve us champagne.

“Do you know who I am?” demanded the Camel
“No” said the sleepy security guard who’d been woken at 12:30am by 3 noisy bikes
“I need booze man, it’s my birthday” he squealed in half-panic.
“You’re in room 13.”
“But I’m Jeff Vader…” he pleaded to the back of the guard who was returning to slumber. “Death by tray” he thought...

Defeated and empty handed, we went to find Tom, who was also asleep but infinitely more receptive. We tried to replay the nutty events of the day’s travel and the entire trip in garbled half sentences, very excited but also acutely aware of how bleak he must be feeling. Bitter sweet indeed.

And then we went to sleep, woke up, packed vehicles, and settled in for a 3 day drive back home, with the Panda laid out like a vulnerable dolphin.









« Last Edit: October 09, 2013, 05:12:52 pm by MechanicalCamel »
 

Offline BlueBull2007

  • Caribbean
  • Global Moderator
  • Bachelor Dog
  • ***
  • Bike: AJS (all models)
    Location: Other
  • Posts: 10,295
  • Thanked: 312 times
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #305 on: October 09, 2013, 05:54:14 pm »
Is that it!?  ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT STUFF GUYS!

:hello2: :hello2: :hello2: :hello2:
:hello2: :hello2: :hello2: :hello2:
:hello2: :hello2: :hello2: :hello2:
:hello2: :hello2: :hello2: :hello2:


Thank you so much for this ride report- A real labour of love I know.


I agree with you the unplanned trip is better, and worse. But one thing for sure: It will be filled with adventure, and more often than not becomes totally epic. Which reminds me I need to finish my Andes to the Amazon  report.  ::)

I have to ask you: Have you considered what would you have done if the injury was worse, rendering Jeff Vader unable to ride? Unthikable, but you must have discussed this and it would be interesting to know what you might have done under the circumstances, maybe find a car or something to get him back to the world?  Would that have even been possible?
Rally nut. What could possibly go wrong?
Living the Rally Dream - Ride Report
Current bike: KTM 350 EXC   Previous bikes:  2010 WR450F, 2006 KTM450EXC,KTM 450RR, BMW800GS, KTM450EXC, BMW650 GS, BMW650 Dakar, and Honda XR250
 

Offline MechanicalCamel

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 690 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 142
  • 2 humps are better than 1
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #306 on: October 09, 2013, 06:05:52 pm »
Hehe - glad you enjoyed.

Yeah, we did chat a bit about emergency exits. To be honest, we spoke the most about it on the way to Foz du Kunene, through the desert. We would have left one guy with the wounded soldier and a bottle of whiskey, and the other would rocket off like a hero to go find help, although God knows what form that would have taken out there. We did discuss taking a SAT phone at one point but then got distracted buying rokstraps and forgot about it.

We once met some Scotsmen in Namibia touring on 1200's who designed oil rigs for a living. Their favourite quote was "there's no problem that can't be solved by an oil man with an unlimited budget". Which is entirely irrelevant cause we aren't oil men (apart from the Midget who enjoys a spot of lubricated wrestling) and certainly don't have an unlimited budget. But if the injury wasn't serious enough for medivac then a donkey cart / bakkie to the border and a phone call to Tom probably would've done the trick.

Thank the biking gods we didn't need to test that out...

« Last Edit: October 09, 2013, 06:08:21 pm by MechanicalCamel »
 

Offline Crossed-up

  • Pangaman
  • Forum Whore
  • ****
  • Bike: NER-A-CAR
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 6,622
  • Thanked: 80 times
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #307 on: October 09, 2013, 06:43:25 pm »
Wonderful report.  Thank you.

I'd like to buy the 4 of you a beer. Who gets the first swig?


Just setting the standard, setting the standard.
 

Offline A/T

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: Husqvarna (all models)
    Location: Gauteng
  • Posts: 226
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #308 on: October 09, 2013, 08:17:29 pm »
Wonderfull,damn its over! Deserves roll of honour! :thumleft:
 

Offline pietas

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW R80GS
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 1,207
  • Thanked: 22 times
  • Gryskop seuntjie
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #309 on: October 09, 2013, 09:12:19 pm »
Even with all the kak-and-crap you guys had, that was truely a trip to remember. Thanks for the entertainment  :thumleft:
Groot berge en lang grond paaie
 

Offline Wayne Duck

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
    Location: Other
  • Posts: 797
  • Thanked: 1 times
  • Freedom Behind Bars
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #310 on: October 09, 2013, 09:54:17 pm »
So very entertaining...had a joll reading it, thanks guys!  :thumleft:
Links to my Ride Reports...
I have listed (with links) all my ride reports at the start of this ride report here:
http://www.wilddog.za.net/forum/index.php?topic=121459.0

 

Offline Malibu

  • Bachelor Dog
  • *****
  • Bike: KTM 640 Adventure
    Location: Gauteng
  • Posts: 11,058
  • Thanked: 35 times
  • Just a girl on a bike!
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #311 on: October 09, 2013, 10:50:19 pm »
Roll of Honour thread.... Awesome!  Thanks for taking us on such a fantastic ride with you.... :thumleft:
They call me Judy or Judes...

You need chaos in your soul to birth a shining star!
 

Offline wolfman

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: BMW R1200GS Adventure
    Location: Gauteng
  • Posts: 205
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #312 on: October 10, 2013, 03:45:20 am »
On so many levels a very inspiring report!

Well done doods and thank you for sharing


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
 

Offline Mark Hardy

  • Forum Vendor
  • Forum Whore
  • ****
  • Bike: KTM 950 Adventure
    Location: Gauteng
  • Posts: 9,386
  • Thanked: 3 times
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #313 on: October 10, 2013, 07:48:35 am »
 :hello2: :hello2: :hello2: :hello2: :hello2: :hello2: :hello2:

A Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious RR

 

Offline Johan10

Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #314 on: October 10, 2013, 08:55:33 am »
Great ride report!

You know how you see okes with their bikes and wonder to yourself : "Where are they going? I wish I had my bike on a trailer heading on an adventure."
That was me when I saw you guys at the Engen on the N7 the morning you left, and went back, and left again. Great was my surprise to find this awesome RR!

Well done guys. A tip of the proverbial hat.
Happiness is an open road, a tank full of gas and a hand full of throttle.

Previous : BMW F650 Twin, GS 1200, KTM 990
Current : Husky 701
 

Offline MaxThePanda

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: Vespa (all models)
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 2,153
  • Thanked: 18 times
  • As in 'Even more Panda'. Also likes sharks.
    • Team 525
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #315 on: October 10, 2013, 09:21:15 am »
Well, well... 'Roll of Honour'... an honour indeed! Many times I seriously doubted whether the garbled nonsense of our band of merry misfits, miscreants and morons would be of any interest to these hallowed tribes. If anything, we should remember life is short, it should be taken less seriously, and everybody who lives in this blessed corner of the universe and is lucky enough to own a motorcycle should let it take them on some kind of extraordinary journey, long or short, rough or smooth, nuts or sane, as often as they possibly can.

Oh, and if you want to be a real man, you really should weld your own rack.
Unless you're a midget, of course.

PS. If you're a little patient - cause I'm super, like, busy at the moment, I may have a short few movie moments to share to end off this peculiar little tale.
PPS. Home is where the heart is:


Offline Tiger8

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: KTM 950 Adventure S
    Location: Eastern Cape
  • Posts: 2,048
  • Thanked: 27 times
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #316 on: October 10, 2013, 09:31:41 am »
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 

This can't end yet, make-up some more stuff, plagarise more pic's from the interweb, anything .......... pleeeez  :'( :'( :'(


A Totally EPIC RR, thanks Camel, Max, Midget and Ghost (he was with you in spirit  ;) )

.
.
.
.
.
..
Now click on page 1 and start again  ;D

 :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft:
Don't Sweat the Petty Stuff & Don't Pet the Sweaty Stuff!
Triumph Sprint 1050ST
Yamaha WR450F
 

Offline Snafu

  • Forum Whore
  • ****
  • Bike: Honda XR125L
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 8,980
  • Thanked: 79 times
  • Brackenfell Bricket
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #317 on: October 10, 2013, 04:31:23 pm »
Brilliant!!!
Rimtape: Sounds like something in the first-aid kit of a gay-porn movie set. - Jaco
 

Offline MechanicalCamel

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 690 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 142
  • 2 humps are better than 1
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #318 on: October 10, 2013, 04:52:24 pm »
wooohoooo.... roll of honour!!!! How lovely is that.

Thanks for all the kudos folks - great having you along for the ride.

Was thinking last night that the writing was such a hoot I should carry on. It'd be either:
A) the time I bought my first ever motorcycle and rode it round the states for 4 months (I started by pushing it over a mountain pass outside Denver, Colorado); or,
2) some of the absurd trips we did in Cambodia, which included submarining a CG125 while trying to find a temple on the Thai border

But first I need to advise the Midget on expansion of his Global Empire... (for a whacking fee under line item "monkey trainer")



 

Offline Midget

  • Newbie
  • Bike: Suzuki DR650
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 9
Re: Ngola Kingdom: Motorcycle (mis)adventures in south-west Angola
« Reply #319 on: October 10, 2013, 05:09:59 pm »
I think what you should rather do Camel is rekindle your movie career
Who needs toes