The Dinosaur has some fun with "lane splitting"

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ALLEN I

Race Dog
Joined
Mar 11, 2012
Messages
2,034
Reaction score
6
Location
Pretoria
Bike
Honda XRV 750 Africa Twin
                                          The Dinosaur does “Lane Splitting”   
                                                           

So here I was leesing about this ‘Lane Splitting” and all of you ous “gooing” your opinions about how safe it is and how not to do it and sommer not too ride on the geel streep on the side of the road, that I got this “Brainy Idea” that a ou Should go and check out what all the “bohaai” is about.

Now I aint a bang ou, I mean im a Biker, a Wd, A Dinosour, A Moerse tough ou, but all of the guys tuning all of those like negative “gootes” and what can happen to you, so I sommer decided right there and then I would need some back up on this.

Mmm choices are always difficult to make, I mean which cold ones do I drink before I go??? Now the ous that know me sommer know that I smaak my cold one now and again. For the ous that don’t know me, now you also know. So I sommer mix the castle’s with the Windhoeks and so on. Now nobody can moan that it was the castle’s fault or that I should of had a different cold one in me whilst trying this “Lane Splitting” thing out.  :bar:

Now I have also been doing this “Lane Splitting” thing all of these years, but never like really taking notice whilst doing it.

So which “Dorp” do I try this out in? Cause I sommer know that the ous are gonna tune that their ”Dorp” is worse than the other ous “Dorp”

So I Try out Pretoria’s highway first. I start to gooi the bonnie in between the cages and to sommer ride next to the ou in his/her cage to check out there “Houdings” Huh!! some ous aint so lekker as they sommer get a ”skrik” when u riding next to them that they sommer move into the lane next to them. Other ous check you coming and sommer also pull to the other lane sommer almost right in front of a ou. What’s wrong with these ous.

So I go to Joburg to check out those ous “houdings”. Man the “Jowies ous houdings” are about the same, but a bit more aggressive. So I scheme to myself maybe I should check this out in like the afternoon when there’s sommer like a traffic jam type of problem.

So I cruise home to have a cold one or two to wait for the afternoon traffic to start. Now after a few cold ones I sommer get this cool idea that to wake these cage drivers up I should sommer take off the bikes silencer.

Now my bonnies making a lekker sound to my ears that only us “Bikers” can smaak. Off I go with a moerse “racket”. Causing all that is a dog in the area to howl away.

Get on the highway and find a lekker traffic jam. So I start to “lane Split” and you must check those ous faces out when you get next to them causing that moerse “Lawaai”. He he I was having a lekker laugh at them ous.

Now the traffic has almost come to a stand still and I start to weave in between the cages, sommer right of a ou can check these ous have a different houding. Some of them do pull over and let you through, but other ous just have “kak houdings” and actually squeeze the space closed. Huh!!! I scheme to myself, if these ous have this kak houding I must sommer stop next to them and find out why?

As I cruise up to a BMW cage this ou starts to close the gap, so I scheme stuff him and squeeze my Bike into the gap. Pull up next to him and knock on his window to ask him sommer what his problem was. Needles to say all I got was this dirty look and a middle finger. Next thing his on his cell phone and gesturing to me, so I sommer start to “gooi” the revs up and as the bike aint got a silencer on it makes this “moerse lekker” noise. End of convo on that phone. You ous should of checked the moerse “vuil Kyk” I got and by the way his lips where moving and his hand gestures, I could ascertain the words coming out of his mouth was not very nice. So I gave him a thumbs as you ous all know im a nice ou. Then I moved on to my next victim. He he.

Not much further up same story, so once again I pull up to the cage, knock on the window, this ou actually rolls down his window and tunes me sommer what my problem is. So I tunes to him that its not so lekker to squeeze the gap shut and that he should maybe like be like a nice ou and let us bikes go through. Sorry he tunes me I didn’t see you. Ya right. Off I go again to find another victim.

Ha victim number three. Pull up and once again knock on the window, this lekker looking cute blonde rolls down the window and stares at me as if im from another planet or some thing that should not be there. So I ask her “nogal” politely what her problem is. She tunes me I must stop harassing her and sommer pulls out some pepper spray, so me being a nice ou that I am, I tune her hang on, and I open my tank bag and take out a cold one and i “offers” it to her. She checks me as if im not like all lekker up there, I sommer knew like what the problem was, so I tune her ok I know it’s not polite to drink alone so I pulls me out a cold one also and just there and then her whole ”houding” changes. We talk some kak and share a cold one sommer in the middle of traffic. Needles to say I sommer got her phone number and a date for later on that night.

So stopped next to a few more ous and (JA) what can I say, I got sworn at, threatened, ignored and got apologies from some ous.

So I scheme let me go back to “Jowies” and check out those ous and see what there “houdings” are.

Different ball game in that part of the country, some ous where nice and apologized, but the majority sommer wanted to “moer” me and “eiena” the words of some of those ous and “Tannies” I cannot put on the site as the ous would sommer ban me one “Skat”.
One ou even threatened me with his gun. Those ous in :Jowies” just aint lekker.

As to the “lane Splitting” some ous gave way, but a lot of them almost caused me to come pipe. So I tried the yellow lane section. Hah! Much better I scheme to myself, although this was not my”gedaagtes” for too long. The cage drivers gooi all type of things out of their cages whilst on the roads and I had a few narrow escapes with smokes being gooied out and sommer a bottle or two also. But believe me if I tune you ous that there’s a lot of other shit lying in this section, like pieces of bumpers and such stuff whch a ou has to check out for and still to watch out for the cage drivers. I also sommer noticed that the cage drivers don’t spot a ou in that lane. Hence I spose the nick name “suicide Lane”. Had a few cars sommer also try to block me which caused me too gooi the breaks moerse hard and I almost saw my gat against the barrier .My conclusion was to sommer get out of that “Yellow lane” and to cruise in between the cages, as it sommer felt like the safer thing to do. Now I know you ous are like most probably “scheming” to you self’s that come on you ous are “Bikers, WD, Dinosaurs, Moerse tough ous,” But man o man that Yellow Lane should be avoided like the plaque, I almost lost all of the cold ones in my veins from getting such moerse skriks from riding in it. 

Now my conclusion to this matter is a simple one. There is no conclusion. Some ous out there are moerse nice ous and some are a bunch of @$#@$# idiots and to have
“cold ones” on hand as then maybe you ous can also share a cold one with a thirsty cage driver, and don’t put your helmet on a cages roof in traffic as she almost rode away with it on the roof.

In short I done some lekker cruising and met some nice people, and some not so lekker people, got sworn at, threatened almost got a few “Klaps”, almost saw my ass a few times, helped some ous to take on another look at us ous on our “Bikes”, and a lekker date.

Also saw some interesting things going on inside the cages, but behold that’s another story by its self.

So go out there and do your own thing, but remember there aint no conclusion to the dangers of “Lane Splitting”                   

                                            In The End, It’s Your Choice

                                                        RIDE SAFE

ALLEN I   
 
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