tankgirl & OliveOil's most delightful TiTS *video clip added*

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tankgirl

Pack Dog
Joined
Aug 7, 2008
Messages
309
Reaction score
4
Location
Pretoria
Bike
BMW G650 X-challenge
THE VIDEO CLIP


How far would you go? ... To take shots with a Birthday Boy!

For us, it was only a 3000km round trip  :)


You know how they say life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans?
Well, none of us can really remember how it happened but there we were minding our own business over a few Soweto Pepsi’s after a lekker Maraisburg ride , when suddenly we had somewhere important to be on May Third!

Now when you’re sober in your office again and you look at a map you realise it’s not at all as remote as people say. Discouraging people, with excuses for everything. Cape Town is 200km further from Pretoria than the Seventh Natural Wonder of the World... Well damn.
Yes we took a scenic detour but mile for mile it’s quicker to Vic Falls than it is to Table Mountain, which we’ve all seen enough of anyway  ;Þ

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We agreed to all meet up at 5:30AM. Two 650’s plus a Jimny on the side. It was Freedom Day and we had about 530km to cover.
Stockpoort border crossing was unexpectedly brisk and our first glimpses of Botswana were mostly powdery dust poofs and cow pies. None of us had slept particularly well due to our excitement and anticipation but OliveOil didn’t sleep at all! So once we arrived at Camp Itumela her droopy bloodshot eyes secured us a permanent tent with beds and pillows instead of us having to pitch our own stuff! The hairy host in his hot pants also treated us to a grand buffet dinner. Itumela means “Happy Place” in Setswana and that night we truly felt happy:  We were on Safari!  ;D

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Completely recharged on the cool and cloudy Monday morning we made our way towards a bustling Francistown for breakfast and supplies. We were already further north than either of our bikes had ever gone! Fuel was cheap and the sun was out again so it didn’t really surprise me how chilled and friendly the people were. One petrol attendant even wrote down her name so we could connect on FB  :D  We stopped for some refreshments at Planet Baobab and soon afterwards pulled in at Gweta Lodge where we once again paid to camp but scored a room! Business is good when you have boobs  :)  Early on it became apparent that there wasn’t going to be any weight lost on this trip as another buffet dinner was generously served. A custom vegetarian dish was even prepared especially for OliveOil! The mosquitoes were also fairly impressive! [457km]

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This was the part of the trip I had not-so-secretly been looking forward to the most!  :)   Kubu Island , baby! Coincidence that it was also the only part of the trip that took place on gravel? Who knows.
It’s absolutely hopeless for me to try and explain the route from Gweta. I’m actually still a bit stunned that we found the way at all... First came the startling “howdy!” from a sandy tweespoor, then some more zig-zagging tweespoor, every so often criss-crossing with cattle paths and last season’s semi-overgrown tracks. Hansel and Gretel would've been screwed! Pretty soon we were right in the middle of nowhere  :)  If you thought “the open road” meant freedom, man, you gotta visit the pans!  :)  Here and there it would catch you out a bit, but for the most part it was complete and utter abandon, with just a hint of “where the hell am I”!  :)  Our tents finally came out for real. We enjoyed the sunset on our doorstep and spent the evening cooking elegant dishes from scratch, and contemplating the universe under a duvet of stars. I’ve been told Kubu Island is “special” and I'm inclined to agree that’s the perfect word to describe it. [±170km]

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We woke up early to catch the sunrise and took an entire album of photos. I could have probably spent another week here had it not been for the sparse ablution facilities. We were so dusty and gross but the breath-taking panoramas completely overpowered our own odours. Eventually, as we prepared to leave, appeared out of nowhere a group of about ten bikers . Briefly sniffed each other’s butts and went our separate ways again. We had a hard day’s riding ahead of us, and most of it was going to be thick sand. We didn’t know it yet but it would also be the first day we saw wild elephants on the freeway! The sandy tweespoor though, which I presumed to be Kubu road, with its ±20cm-high middleman carried on for e-v-e-r and shady rest spots were few and far between. You were either in the groove or falling on your head!  :O  This road really tested our endurance, and again stressed the importance of hydration. We still made it to Elephant Sands with plenty time to spare  :)  [±160km] Naturally just as I’d completely undressed and unpacked my miniature shampoo and shower gel the dusk shift’s elephants came to drink from the watering hole and I had to quickly put on my dusty clothes again. Totally worth it, what a treat!  :)  Surprise-surprise buffet dinner including melt-in-your-mouth pepper steaks put us to bed with fat smiles on our faces!

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It had been kind of a weird night. Some elephants stalked our (de)fenceless camp in the middle of the night and I awoke to a loud rumble right next to my bed! I sat up straight as humanly possible in my little tent eavesdropping on a group of at least 5 or 6 ellies trumpeting and back chatting over something I couldn’t quite make out. Boyfriend trouble I assumed. Needless to say, I slept with one eye open the rest of the night. Bitches man...  :O  Next up was Kazungula border post. Not really a beacon of efficiency but it went as smoothly as it probably could have. Welcome to Zimbabwe! We rode about 60km through the Zambezi National Park with signposts of elephants and painted dogs all over. I was very excited just to be riding amongst them, even though we didn’t see any  :)  [321km] The moment our bikes roared up to Shoestrings Backpackers , KnopKop's little face lit up like the fourth of July and he came out to meet his weary old mates. He’d already been waiting since five or six Lion Lagers ago  :)  Almost instantly a sunset cruise was booked and the little shuttle picked us up. We had a record amount of Gin & Tonics and canapé’s to devour in about two hours. Africa man, you can say what you want, this is home. <3

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We awoke the next morning to the cheerful chirping of exotic-sounding birds. Made some coffee and had a nice round the house kuier all day until we felt like taking a game drive. The five of us hopped in the Harrier and the party went mobile. Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss!  ;D  Later that evening we enjoyed ample refreshments from the bar while the funky live band kept our feet moving and our asses shaking! The vibe was totally insane and everyone was just happy! We knew it meant a lot to KnopKop that we'd come all that way to celebrate his birthday with him, because he kept saying it meant a lot that we'd come all that way to be there  :p  Meanwhile we were just having the time of our lives!

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You don't realise how big a deal the Victoria Falls are until you're standing, soaking wet, right in front of it. This was one of the most magnificent things I'd probably ever seen or heard or felt or tasted. From anywhere in town you could hear the 500 million litres per minute of crashing water and the cloud of spray was almost always visible. But to see the whole show up close was just unbelievable. KnopKop had a great birthday as he kept mentioning, and so did we! But our time together was fast coming to an end, and we headed back to our spot for some legendary pear tart, the recipe for which had been expertly improvised to account for Zim’s supplies! For old times' sake we shared each other’s company with pizza and beers and wished for time to stand the fuck still!

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Morning came much too soon as we had to get going awfully early. We had many miles to eat that day. [728km] Our heavy-hearted farewells were to some extent alleviated by our pact to do Malawi together next year  :)  And with that little seed planted we hit the road. We made very good progress and only had to dismount for the foot and mouth stuff twice. Landed back at our Palapye Happy Place where we cleaned and fed and slept like angels again thanks to our host who was as lovely as the last time, except with a bit more pants on.

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We aimed to be home by lunchtime and actually made it too. Martin's Drift was quiet and we used the stop-and-go's on the N11 to stretch our legs so no extra rest stops were necessary. My head was still swimming in elephants and baobabs and waterfalls so I didn't really notice much of the last stretch home. [513km] Once again my Blitsie brought me all the way back safely and I couldn't be happier. Blitsie might have been happier had I packed 6kg less junk in my trunk though... So we learn  :)



Huge and humble thanks to the great friends who shared this trip with me and to KnopKop for giving us just another reason to ride  ;)
 
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