A dinosaur,a Plaas pat and a bokkie with a "Kort Rokkie "

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ALLEN I

Race Dog
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Pretoria
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Honda XRV 750 Africa Twin
                     
                       A Dinosaur, a Plaas pat and a Bokkie with a “Kort Rokkie”

So here I was just me and my faithful steed like cruising along on a nice deserted road, minding our own business, stopping now and again for a cold one, (for the ous that don’t know me, I smaak a “cold one” now and again), when all of a sudden I check this “lekker bokkie” with these mile long legs just like standing next to her car waving at me to stop. Now you ous all know me by now, im sommer a “moerse” nice ou, so I “gooi” the breaks and stop sommer next to the car.

Hop off the bonnie and tune her like what’s the problem. Now for some reason she stairs at me and starts to stutter and talk at the same time. Now I don’t know if that’s normal to talk in that like “Gaulic language” or what, but dam man I like sommer could not make out a word that she’s tuning to me.

Now me being that nice ou that I am I tune her “whoa” relax, now I can check this “bokkie” is like close to tears, so I open my tank bag and pull out two “cold ones”, open them up and offer one too her, not that I waned too as I only had “three” left, and now im down to only “one” cold one, (the horror of it), but I schemed it would at least calm her down. I tune her like I can’t make out what you saying to me, so she takes the cold one and we stand there in the bloody middle of nowhere sharing a cold one. I scheme she was like “moerse” thirsty as she sommer downed it “moerse” fast. Wasn’t quite sure if I liked this “bokkie” or not by the way she drank that cold one as I was like starting to stress that she digs cold ones more than me.

So I tune her ok now tell me what’s wrong, so she starts tuning me again what’s wrong, but she’s “doing” that stuttering language thing again, (nogal in the Afrikaans taal as well) , And im like sommer not catching all the words. Apparently some chicks speak like this, still don’t know why. Sounds like she’s got car trouble. Now why didn’t I think of that???  Oh!! Now I remember I was like busy checking out her legs, her “Sorry Censored” this is a family site”.

So I get in the cage and “gooi” the ignition on and try to start it, no luck, than I check that the petrol gauges light is on, tune her nope not engine problem but petrol problem. So once again she’s onto that stuttering language thing and im only like catching a few words. “Sommer” reminded me when I was still married, the wife would “warra warra” and i would of course not listen, scheme most of us ous do that type of thing.

Apparently what I could make out is that she like stays on this farm a few miles back, So I tune her ok there’s only one thing to do and that she must like jump on the bike and ill take her to her “possie”. Now here I am like cruising down this lekker gravel road with this nice bokkie with her like short mini on holding me “sommer lekker” tight and scheming to my self that man there’s “sommer” some ou up there that likes me “dik stukke” “Eina”, that was like short lived, I scheme the ou up there likes to confuse a ou and that his sommer like got a wicked sense of “humour” as well.

So I pull into the farm yard and out comes the whole bloody family, Now those “plaas boer booties” of her are like sommer “moerse” big ous and they look sommer as if they have “pampoene” under their arms and even the “Tannie” looked “moerse” scary.

Now the first words to come out of her “Toppies” mouth was ( Wat de moer gaan hier aan en waars jou F%$%  kleure? ) When she left the farm, she slipped her jean of which she had over her “kort rokkie”, and only now had on her “kort rokkie” and “lekker bene”, spose in all of the excitement she sommer forgot about putting her jean back on or maybe like she just wanted to feel free. I mean hows a ou suppose to no these “gooites” that go through a woman’s “gedaagtes” I learnt long ago not to query it or them. This “ou toppie” of hers is like staring daggers at me. Now when she left the possie, she was like  looking all ok, only to rock up a hour or two later on the back of a bonnie with this biker ou dressed in a short “rokkie”  “ No not me her” “eiesh” you ous aren’t lekker, I could sommer read your “gedaagtes”, any way she was still like sitting against me lekker tight. Mmmm think I would like also get like those “anner gedaagtes”  that was like cruising through his mind. Ok I had those other “gedaagtes” swimming through my head as well.  Now as you ous know, im a Biker, a WD, a Dinosaur, a Moerse Tough ou, but at that moment I almost wanted to “gooie” the bonnie around and put my tail between my legs and run like “Hell”, only these “moerse” big “booties” of her was like standing in my way.

So I scheme to myself “oh donner hier word ek ge bliksem vandag” and they gonna like “donner” me dead ass well and like sommer gooi me in a “gat” and like my rug rats don’t even know where im at, and im gonna be like one of those ous on police file. Has any one seen this ou?

Well she tunes her “toppie” ( Pa dits nie hoe dit lyk nie ) and then she tunes him that she got stuck and like a” Night in shining armor I came to her rescue”, and that I gave her a lift back home and some other “gooites” as well all in that stuttering language of hers. Me in not a religious ou, but I was like praying like mad that they could understand what she was tuning them. To my surprise they actually did understand that type of language.

So the “Toppie” just looks at me and doesn’t say a word. Hey man that like sommer scares the crap out of a ou. Then he gets this like grin on his face and tunes me “Dankie” So I scheme to myself ok now if only she would get of I can get the hell out of there whilst im still able too. But no, she just sits on the back, not budging at all.

Then he tunes me ( klim af, eks seker jys lus vir n bier of n brannewyn ) Cold ones I hear so I sommer get this moerse grin on my dial, and scheme to myself that these ous cant be that bad if they’ve got cold ones and like “sommer” are prepared to share them with a ou.  Just then she whispers in my ear that she can’t get of as her “rokkie” is too short. ( Now that part I heard “sommer duidelik” , So I tune him (dis reg so oom laat ek net my motor fiets daaar op die cement trek, want eks bang dit donner oor) Now I sommer know that I can scheme like “lekker” fast if I need to and this was like one of those times a ou had to.

Pull the bike onto the cement a bit away from the house facing towards the gate for a fast escape if need be. So I hop of and help her of, not that I was like complaining. (  Me being a gentleman and all).
 
Whilst we introduce our self and they asking all like questions about the bonnie and such   She disappears into the house and returns with a jean on.

They ask me if I know what’s wrong with the car and I tune them she ran out of petrol, so the two “boeties” get some petrol and they go fetch the car. Now the “Oom” asks me if I would like a cold one? He he now that’s like asking a duck if he digs water.

So we get stuck into a lekker kuier and have a lekker braai vleis and talk all kinda “gooite” till “moerse” late that night. Turned out they was actually “lekker” nice ous.
Well me and the “bokkie” “kuired” until the sun came up, not that Im complaining or any thing. I even eventually started to understand that stuttering language of hers and even got to understand the meaning of “tong knoop”.



Next day took to the road back home a bit disappointed as I had only one cold one left for the ride home. “Ag” “NO” man some time life is just not fair.

ALLEN I  


 
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