So we were sitting in the Mugg & Bean INSIDE the security area in JHB International Oliver R Tambo Jan Smuts Airport and I proudly show the wife my Credit Card knife
I am mos a awesome smuggler!
I tell her that I bet her that I can smuggle it ALL THE WAY into the USA inside my wallet.
mistake
JISSIS. HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED. But have you ever seen a woman when she schemes we both gonna end up in the tjoekie in Dubai?
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit....
She goes all quiet... like she still talks, but she talks very quietly... she looks me in the eye while she talks...
Guys. We know this. When a chick gooi's this move, then its BEYOND THUNDERDOME. Its like... don't even THINK about arguing. Don't even open your mouth. Just nod and agree and do whatever she says.
I take the credit card knife, wrap it in a serviette from M&B, and I walk over to a trash-can and I dump it. Gone.
Anyways, she seems to calm down, and we talk again.
Where was I?
Oh yes.... we were in Dubai, we had just landed and taken a 20-minute bus-ride in the dark to the terminal building...
Everyone has to have their stuff checked. We also have to take off all belts, and watches, and wallets etc. Everything goes through the x-ray machine. The security dudes are grim-faced. I have seen that TV program about Dubai airport, and if my boss was a steroid junkie with a hardegat attitude, I'd also be grim. But I didn't see the muscle-dude from the TV. He must have been sleeping. TV stars need their beauty sleep...
We passed through security ok, and then saw that we had to be in a different terminal for our connecting flight. We started walking. I was really glad for the trolley I had bought for my back-pack. We must have walked about 3km when we finally arrived at the right gate for our connecting flight. There was nobody there yet, not even other passengers waiting.
We had received a couple of complimentary meal vouchers when we checked in at Emirates in JHB, and we found a food-outlet that accepted them. I got a coffee and a sandwich, coffee because I was dead on my feet and I needed to stay awake so I didn't miss the connection. It was around 2am SA time by now, I was FUBAR. After the sarmie, we found some chairs to wait on. Dubai airport has these awesome chairs that you can sleep on. They are like pool-loungers, with a piece for your legs. I didn't take any pics, sorry. Like I said, I was beyond exhausted. All the stress of the last couple of weeks, and a lot of missed sleep too...
I managed to log onto the WD forum through my tablet on the free airport wifi. But I didn't go check any porn because I scheme the ou's in the UAE don't like us doing stuff like that over there. Anyway, I didn't stay online long, because I wanted to save my battery.
Eventually they called us for boarding, and we got on the plane, a 777-200. The one from JHB to Dubai was the 777-300, a bit bigger. We had pre-booked our seats, right at the back where there are only 2 seats next to each other. Cool. The plane took off, and I fell asleep. I must have slept for about 2 hours, but then the hostie ( a very gorgeous lady this time
) woke me offering me a meal. I ate, because I was hungry again. And then I asked for a bottle of wine, and I took two sleeping pills. Not proper sleeping pills, those that they give you over the counter, the anti-histamine kind. Bang. Gone. Another two hours of sleep.
I woke up and the sun was just rising. I only knew this because I opened up my window blind and illuminated the entire cabin of the plane... all the other blinds were down as the passengers gently slept. I git a few mutters from those I had woken up...
The flight from Dubai was interesting. I looked at the map and thought that we would fly over north africa, then the atlantic to Florida. Nope. Apparently because of the curvature of the earth (the earth is round!!!
) the most direct route is over northern europe! A moerofa curve in my books, but ok, they are the experts.
We flew over places like Germany and Holland and England and Ireland... there is an awesome feature on the TV at each seat that shows where you are, and what altitude you are flying at, and what the outside temp is and kak like that. Moerofa interesting. There is even a video camera that you can select to see below the plane so you don't have to sit at a window seat and get a sore neck from looking out all the time to see whats down there.
The leg from Dubai to Orlando was just over 16 hours.
Torture.
My legs swelled up. Even my knees were swollen. It was fucking painful. I did get up and walk around on the plane, but we also git lost of times where the plane was bouncing a bit and the driver put the sign on that told us to go sit down and put our seat belts on because we could get banged around. They needed to fix the shocks on that aerie I scheme...
After an eternity we started the descent from 40 000 feet... I could make out some ships on the ocean below us. At least if we crashed now there would some witnessess to film itr and put it on youtube then I would at least get my 3 minutes of fame. I almost wished the fucking plane would crash so that I could just get some fresh air and stretch properly.
We made a few turns as we descended for Orlando, and I got my first ever look at my new home.
Water.
Lots of water.
Lots of lots of water EVERYWHERE!!!
Ponds, dams, lakes, canals, rivers, streams... LOTS of water everywhere.... and that means LOTS of fish. Bass. Largemouth Bass....
Topic: Life in America - I made the move. (Read 746014 times)
