Whethefakawe
Race Dog
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2006
- Messages
- 621
- Reaction score
- 2
- Bike
- KTM 950 Adventure S
HA......got you, perverts!
This is NOT about your favourite topic, sorry. :lol8:
Last week Wednesday in the pub, my long-time dirtbike riding buddy and close friend (let's call him L) pulled out his iPhone and showed me a photo of his newest toy. It was......a Harley :snorting: I was taken aback, he'd had an older one that he hadn't even started in about 8 years and sold last year for something like $4000 US. If I'd know he was GIVING it away, I'd have bought the feckin' thing and sold it for 8000.
But he's the same oke who, also about 8 years ago, went to the Yamaha dealer to buy two cans of oil and filters to do an oil change on his YZ250F, and came home with a yellow Kenny Roberts paint job R1.
In defence of my friend......20+ years ago as a young baastid, L was involved in the Warbird community. His dad was an airline pilot who flew a wealthy friend's Spitfire at airshows. Tragically, he died in the Spit, got caught in bad weather while ferrying to Canada for an airshow. But L learned to love the round-engine planes like the Harvard and Beech 18....it seems most American WW2 planes had radial engines. L says the Harley engine is 1/4 or 1/5 of a radial engine, that's the only reason he likes it.
Anyways, L is my good mate so I immediately offered to drive him to the shop to pick it up. He calls on Friday around 2 pm, so we drive down there......the missus wasn't missing any of the action, so she climbed into the dickey seat of my Toyota bakkie and went along to see what's what. Her late brother had owned three Harleys, and she'd actually ridden one of them quite a bit. After he died, she was offered the Harley. She politely declined :lol8: But she was curious to see this new one, so along she went.
But moi......had never set foot inside a Harley shop. Ergo, popping my virgin.
I really dislike Harleys - or more accurately, the poser 99% crowd that ride them - so I always laugh and point when driving by a Harley shop. But I'm on this "new experiences" mission, you see.....courtesy of the missus. So I went with an open mind, eager for enlightenment. I wore a balaclava and put ducktape over half my licence plate for the drive down.
Non-descriptive place, really, in an older blue-collar part of town.
When we walked in, the salesman about knocked L over, gushing and smiling and wagging his tail. VERY friendly. First thing he said was, "...hey L, we want to take photos and ring the bell (wtf??) and put it on facebook immediately". L was a bit babie from the previous day still, and hadn't shaven in about three days. Not to mention, he is a classic introvert (and former expert class mxer) so he declined the offer of instant fame.
While they took care of the final paperwork, I wandered around the shop with my camera. L had told me that he'd seen "Harley Davidson Beef Jerky" at some shop, so I was on a hunt to see just how kak fake biltong COULD taste. The shop was divided in two parts, to the left was the bike showroom and to the right the......profit centre, in H-D corporate speak.
The clothing, boots, T-shirts, trinkets, cheap flashy jewelry and other rubbish section.
It was bigger than the bike section :lol8:
This was it. About 40% of it, to be accurate.
The bike section
Make no mistake, that's a lot of money on the floor. This chrome thing was priced at $29K.
THIS monstrosity was $40K :eek7:
Only Hellen Keller could find that pleasing on the eye.
I wandered up to a sales.... uuuuhm.....lady, 55 in the shade and dressed for the "biker chick" part: tight-tight jeans (with a flat arse :lol8
a long-sleeve T-shirt with some H-D writing on it, bangles up to her elbows, big owl-eye glasses with a bright blue frame....and the obligatory "do-rag" around her forehead. She looked like fucken Rosie the Riveter. But she KNEW she was hot, I have no doubt about that.
I decided to mess with her, and asked "....where's the beef jerky?".
"Huh?"
'Yes, you know, the Harley Davidson beef jerky".
TILT. She looked at me like I just flew in from fucken Pluto. "Uuuuuh.....we don't have THAT....I've never seen any?"
I soon lost interest in her guppy-effect reaction and started looking at price tags on stuff. To my surprise, it wasn't nearly as expensive as I'd been made to believe all these years. The leather jackets, T-shirts, gloves etc I inspected were all the same prices as most other decent kit I'd seen anywhere. Besides actual clothing there were racks and racks of.....shit. Any trinket under the sun. One that amused me was a rotating display of "vest extenders" :lol8:
To keep fat baastids' fake-leather vests with all the badges on, buttoned up....sort of.
In the bike section were two long walls of.....more shit. Any aftermarket bike part imaginable. Lights, dongles, seat rails, footpegs.....all in chrome. Or rather, chrome-COLOURED. I didn't think of checking the packaging to see where all this kak is made, but I have a very good idea. Let's just say it's not Milwaukee :lol8:
Anyways, by this time L had signed the papers and was ready to leave. This is the bike he bought, it's called a LOWRIDER S. A 2017 model.
And to my everlasting shock and shame, I actually thought (and still do) that it's not a bad-looking bike. Doesn't look all that different from my Triumph Bonneville, except its 1800 cc engine puts out less HP than the Bonnie's 863 :lol8:
It's also 2 1/2 times as much as I paid for the Bonnie. Granted, I got a killer deal, but still.....if I EVER spend 20K on a bike, iot will be an Italian V-twin of some kind.
L departing for home. He pitched it into the corner past the bike shop like a YZ125 and I had to laugh.
Now I'm on a mission to walk into the biggest Harley shop around here, Scottsdale Harley-Davidson. A wanka-torium of note, it's ........ginormous. Can't wait to see what amusing things lie within its walls. First point of order, turn over tags and see where the trinkets and assorted shit's made. That's when the "public wanking" part will manifest :lol8:
This is NOT about your favourite topic, sorry. :lol8:
Last week Wednesday in the pub, my long-time dirtbike riding buddy and close friend (let's call him L) pulled out his iPhone and showed me a photo of his newest toy. It was......a Harley :snorting: I was taken aback, he'd had an older one that he hadn't even started in about 8 years and sold last year for something like $4000 US. If I'd know he was GIVING it away, I'd have bought the feckin' thing and sold it for 8000.
But he's the same oke who, also about 8 years ago, went to the Yamaha dealer to buy two cans of oil and filters to do an oil change on his YZ250F, and came home with a yellow Kenny Roberts paint job R1.
In defence of my friend......20+ years ago as a young baastid, L was involved in the Warbird community. His dad was an airline pilot who flew a wealthy friend's Spitfire at airshows. Tragically, he died in the Spit, got caught in bad weather while ferrying to Canada for an airshow. But L learned to love the round-engine planes like the Harvard and Beech 18....it seems most American WW2 planes had radial engines. L says the Harley engine is 1/4 or 1/5 of a radial engine, that's the only reason he likes it.
Anyways, L is my good mate so I immediately offered to drive him to the shop to pick it up. He calls on Friday around 2 pm, so we drive down there......the missus wasn't missing any of the action, so she climbed into the dickey seat of my Toyota bakkie and went along to see what's what. Her late brother had owned three Harleys, and she'd actually ridden one of them quite a bit. After he died, she was offered the Harley. She politely declined :lol8: But she was curious to see this new one, so along she went.
But moi......had never set foot inside a Harley shop. Ergo, popping my virgin.
I really dislike Harleys - or more accurately, the poser 99% crowd that ride them - so I always laugh and point when driving by a Harley shop. But I'm on this "new experiences" mission, you see.....courtesy of the missus. So I went with an open mind, eager for enlightenment. I wore a balaclava and put ducktape over half my licence plate for the drive down.
Non-descriptive place, really, in an older blue-collar part of town.
When we walked in, the salesman about knocked L over, gushing and smiling and wagging his tail. VERY friendly. First thing he said was, "...hey L, we want to take photos and ring the bell (wtf??) and put it on facebook immediately". L was a bit babie from the previous day still, and hadn't shaven in about three days. Not to mention, he is a classic introvert (and former expert class mxer) so he declined the offer of instant fame.
While they took care of the final paperwork, I wandered around the shop with my camera. L had told me that he'd seen "Harley Davidson Beef Jerky" at some shop, so I was on a hunt to see just how kak fake biltong COULD taste. The shop was divided in two parts, to the left was the bike showroom and to the right the......profit centre, in H-D corporate speak.
The clothing, boots, T-shirts, trinkets, cheap flashy jewelry and other rubbish section.
It was bigger than the bike section :lol8:
This was it. About 40% of it, to be accurate.
The bike section
Make no mistake, that's a lot of money on the floor. This chrome thing was priced at $29K.
THIS monstrosity was $40K :eek7:
Only Hellen Keller could find that pleasing on the eye.
I wandered up to a sales.... uuuuhm.....lady, 55 in the shade and dressed for the "biker chick" part: tight-tight jeans (with a flat arse :lol8
a long-sleeve T-shirt with some H-D writing on it, bangles up to her elbows, big owl-eye glasses with a bright blue frame....and the obligatory "do-rag" around her forehead. She looked like fucken Rosie the Riveter. But she KNEW she was hot, I have no doubt about that. I decided to mess with her, and asked "....where's the beef jerky?".
"Huh?"
'Yes, you know, the Harley Davidson beef jerky".
TILT. She looked at me like I just flew in from fucken Pluto. "Uuuuuh.....we don't have THAT....I've never seen any?"
I soon lost interest in her guppy-effect reaction and started looking at price tags on stuff. To my surprise, it wasn't nearly as expensive as I'd been made to believe all these years. The leather jackets, T-shirts, gloves etc I inspected were all the same prices as most other decent kit I'd seen anywhere. Besides actual clothing there were racks and racks of.....shit. Any trinket under the sun. One that amused me was a rotating display of "vest extenders" :lol8:
To keep fat baastids' fake-leather vests with all the badges on, buttoned up....sort of.
In the bike section were two long walls of.....more shit. Any aftermarket bike part imaginable. Lights, dongles, seat rails, footpegs.....all in chrome. Or rather, chrome-COLOURED. I didn't think of checking the packaging to see where all this kak is made, but I have a very good idea. Let's just say it's not Milwaukee :lol8:
Anyways, by this time L had signed the papers and was ready to leave. This is the bike he bought, it's called a LOWRIDER S. A 2017 model.
And to my everlasting shock and shame, I actually thought (and still do) that it's not a bad-looking bike. Doesn't look all that different from my Triumph Bonneville, except its 1800 cc engine puts out less HP than the Bonnie's 863 :lol8:
It's also 2 1/2 times as much as I paid for the Bonnie. Granted, I got a killer deal, but still.....if I EVER spend 20K on a bike, iot will be an Italian V-twin of some kind.
L departing for home. He pitched it into the corner past the bike shop like a YZ125 and I had to laugh.
Now I'm on a mission to walk into the biggest Harley shop around here, Scottsdale Harley-Davidson. A wanka-torium of note, it's ........ginormous. Can't wait to see what amusing things lie within its walls. First point of order, turn over tags and see where the trinkets and assorted shit's made. That's when the "public wanking" part will manifest :lol8:
