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Author Topic: Funny motorcycle stories  (Read 3060 times)

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Offline Dux

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #20 on: October 09, 2018, 08:13:48 am »
So windgat guy comes in one morning for new tyres , we duly fit the tyres and explain how he must take it easy for the first few km because the tyres will NOT have decent grip , guy pulls away with big revs and gung ho , does a 180 and ends up on his ass , he was very humble after that .

Chap comes into the shop one day highly the moer in because I sold him the wrong spares , guy doesn't look familiar so I ask if he is certain that he bought the part from us , yes he is certain and I was the person that sold it to him . OK , no problem please supply us with the invoice . He takes it out and it is from a shop a kilometer down the road  ::)

Another guy comes in wanting an oil filter for a Z900 , I duly supply the correct part , the next day he is back in and all pissed off with me because the filter doesn't fit , now this doesn't make sense because I have sold loads of these filters and I just happen to know them quite well . No problem , please pop around with the bike and show me . He is back an hour later , anyone that knows these bikes would know that on top of the gearbox is a cylindrical housing which is part of the engine breather system . Well genius client had tried to fit the oil filter in there  :o

Another guy decided to do his own servicing and came in one day bitching because the bike wouldn't start after an oil change , after lots of questions we asked him to bring the bike around . His bike didn't have  a dipstick , so he had filled it up with oil till the top of the filler hole , result was too much oil in the engine that it wouldn't turn over  :biggrin:

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Offline Eendstop

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #21 on: October 09, 2018, 08:49:55 am »
It's been 2 or so years,and I am still trying to figure it out. Between Paternoster and St Helena Bay is a gravel road of about 20km, which becomes deep sand about halfway in. I was on the GSA and wife on her GS. I slowed to about 40 - 30 km/h in the sand, riding in front and fighting the pig to stay upright, wife rides about 50 or so meters behind. Suddenly words unbecoming my lady is heard over the bluetooth, from which I gathered she took a tumble. I stop, after a battle to make the bike stand in the sand, walk back.............and get blamed it is MY FAULT she fell. Assessing her "bekkie", I wisely didn't ask for an explanation   :P
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Offline jacbot

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #22 on: October 09, 2018, 09:47:51 am »
Very annoying PTI in the SAAF had a Katana that would more than often not start, so he would ask the motormac appies to fix it. It was them that caused it not to start in the first place, but he did not know it. So they would take it to college to be fixed. What they did was to draw lines on the spark plugs with pencils, then just outside the base gate, they would rub the carbon of, ride the bike to college, ride it back in the afternoon, so they did not have to march to college every day. I'm shure that till this day, that PTI is non the wiser.
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Offline JFE

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #23 on: October 09, 2018, 12:15:42 pm »
....... What they did was to draw lines on the spark plugs with pencils, then just outside the base gate, they would rub the carbon of.......
You need to explain this please have no idea what this would do to the plug (sorry for derailing the thread somewhat)


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Offline Mikerider

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #24 on: October 09, 2018, 01:24:54 pm »
I suspect the spark will then run around the plug along the pencil lines instead of through the plug to ignite the fuel in the chamber....
 

Offline Saddle Up

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #25 on: October 09, 2018, 01:45:47 pm »
80s, Serviced my z500 myself. Saturday afternoon hop on the bike, on my way to go Jol. The rear end felt a little odd, but because the tyre was on its way out I ignored it. Last traffic light before getting on to the highway, I decide to impress all the cagers. Robot goes green and I go screaming off in a 180 degree turn, facing the traffic head on.
 Oil was leaking  due to misaligned oil filter cover o-ring. That rear tyre was well oiled  :ricky:
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Offline jaybiker

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #26 on: October 09, 2018, 02:05:34 pm »
Way back when a short leather jacket and tight blue jeans were the required riding uniform, clip on bars and rear set pegs would present the seat of your pants to the gaze of the world.

That's until you 'went down the road' and ripped the arse out of your jeans! I've seen more than one mate thus embarrassed, but I suppose when you've roasted your arse, exposure to the open air has a cooling effect and helps to speed healing.  :snorting:
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Offline Skootaboy

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #27 on: October 09, 2018, 02:13:42 pm »
I used to have a Katana (ex racing) parked in the garage for long periods. I decided to take it out to give it a run. The battery was dead so I pushed it out of my driveway and up the road so that I could push start it down again. On the down run I turned the ignition on and kicked it into second gear and let the clutch out. It started momentary and then died. When I got to the bottom of the hill I pushed it up the hill and repeated the process. This time the beast refused to even kick over. I decided I didn't have enough energy to push it up again so I called the wife to tow me up the hill with my bakkie. I tied the tow rope around one of the forks and shouted to the wife to pull off slowly. After a few metres she jerked the bakkie (not being used to the clutch). This had the effect of causing a speed wobble. Despite me screaming for her to stop she continued to accelerate erratically up the hill. Of course I fell of and had a grandstand view of my bike being dragged up the hill. If it weren't for the stop street at the top of the hill she probably would have towed the bike (now with sparks flying and bits getting scraped off on the tar) for the next five kilometres. I ran up to the now stationary wreck of a bike swearing the most vile swear words I know, only to notice the local pastor leaning over his fence and observing the scene with a very strange smirk on his face. I sheepishly lifted the bike back onto it's wheels and rolled it back to my garage. On closer inspection I noticed the the fuel tap was set to 'off'. Obviously when the bike gave a bit of an ignition there was a little fuel left in the carb bowl. To this day I have never told my that.
 

Offline Buff

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #28 on: October 09, 2018, 02:46:35 pm »
I'm in matric and I pop down to visit my girlfriend who is training with her Drum Majorette team on our schools rugby field. At some stage I get bored and decide to leave and pop an awesome wheelie only to flip my bike and have it land on top of me... yes, right in front of the entire drummy team. The world could feel my shame... and my ass was purple and yellow for 2 weeks  :-[
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Offline Sheepman

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #29 on: October 09, 2018, 02:51:01 pm »
Me and a mate fitted a Denco 4 into 1 to my Z 1 900, to " maximise the extra power to be unleashed " by  the Mikuni smooth bores fitted the previous Saturday.After the whole Saturday in the garage,the obvious thing was to go show it off that night to the buds at a local club ( disco ) where a lot of Pta bikers hung out over weekends.Levis & Vella Lummie clad, we hit the club - with 900 not running so smooth, but at least it looked very cool ( jetting hopelessly out  ;) ).Jolled hard and after quite a few teeks etc, it was show time for the manne...... beat and burnout time  8)
I fired the 900 up for the crowd and.......the Denco sounded like an old granny hissing a hymn.......no amount of trottle could unleash the devillishly sound of the 4 into 1.What a let down  :-[ The manne really jeered me instead of cheered me  :laughing4:
Turns out me and my exhaust fitting mate messed up two of the exhaust header gaskets during fitting time, which nicely showed up after the cool down time whilst we were jolling in the club  ;)
This was just one of many ( botched ) results of my back yard spanner swinging efforts.
 

Offline jacbot

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #30 on: October 10, 2018, 08:48:01 am »
....... What they did was to draw lines on the spark plugs with pencils, then just outside the base gate, they would rub the carbon of.......
You need to explain this please have no idea what this would do to the plug (sorry for derailing the thread somewhat) 
The pencil lead is carbon, so you basically short out the sparkplug if you run a nice pencil line over the ceramic part between the metal parts.


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1983 Honda XL600RE (Sold, what was I thinking)
2008 Aprilia Pegaso Trail (Sold)
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1981 Yamaha XT 500 (Resto Project) 1981 Yamaha XT500 Resto-mod
 

Offline Karel84

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #31 on: October 10, 2018, 09:20:18 am »
My brother and I are always super competitive, and the competition reached its peak when we would ride from his house to the Mondi forest (about 1km) and then through to the local track about 10kms out.
On knee ride, he was out in front of me on his YZ, and I was trailing in the forest on my KTM. Next minute his engine goes silent and he's gone. I come around the corner only to find him about 3m deep in bush with his bike on top of him giggling to himself. He'd misjudged the 90 degree bend and landed up taking a nap in the shrubs!

On another ride, we made it to the track with no issues, amazingly! I was sitting on my bike watching the riders jump the table tops and smaller peaks with ease. Even a 10 year old lighty was jumping, so even though I was really new to offroading, I thought if a lighty can jump, why can't I? I took a small run up, pinned it and at the last second, already on the jump, I didn't commit and dropped the throttle. Front wheel down first, I flew over the handles and ended up on my back. My brother saw me lying dead still and dropped his YZ and came running, fearing the worst. He says he was relieved when he he got closer and heard me swearing F's and B's at myself.

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Offline Edgar

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #32 on: October 10, 2018, 09:34:05 am »
I'm in matric and I pop down to visit my girlfriend who is training with her Drum Majorette team on our schools rugby field. At some stage I get bored and decide to leave and pop an awesome wheelie only to flip my bike and have it land on top of me... yes, right in front of the entire drummy team. The world could feel my shame... and my ass was purple and yellow for 2 weeks  :-[

While trying to impress my girlfriend, brother and his buddies in our driveway at home, I popped a wheelie, lost a bit of traction and headed straight into our neighbors across the street from us' garden. Bike fell on me and I was basically pinned under the bike lying there with the hot exhaust pipe burning a nice patch on my leg.

The spectators were so busy laughing that they were in no state to assist me.

Ag I like making a twatwaffle of myself in front of people, you know. Just a long endless line of cringe-worthy shit I have done to impress the opposite sex........

   
 

Offline Edgar

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #33 on: October 10, 2018, 09:39:53 am »
Best save I had on a bike was when I was going round a big roundabout full-taps  and a twatwaffle entered the circle from my left with his bakkie at speed. Whilst trying to avoid this fuck-up about to happen I felt the rear of the bike sliding out from under me as I instinctively (but very stupidly) stepped full force on the rear brake. How I kept the bike upright I don't know. The feeling of relief was awesome. 

For reference, the bike was a 1980's Yamaha XS250
« Last Edit: October 10, 2018, 09:41:57 am by Edgar »
 

Offline Firecoast

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #34 on: October 10, 2018, 09:40:57 am »
 :sip:
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Offline Dux

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #35 on: October 10, 2018, 12:29:09 pm »
A bit of enduro and topless things

My mate's wife decides to surprise him by flashing him in the forest section , she sees him through the trees and as he comes around the bend she lifts her top , and hears a moerse crash , she looks down and notices that it isn't her hubby but his new team mate , and they are both wearing the same kit and on the same bikes , team mate got such a 'fright' he crashed into a tree , the wife ran away as fast as possible  :biggrin:

My first enduro is in the mountains above George , at one section is a slow but steep rise and the girls were flashing the guys at the top of the rise , there were loads of skid marks of guys going straight off into the bushes . Didn't catch me though , I stopped for a feel  :thumleft: ;D

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Offline Dux

Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #36 on: October 10, 2018, 12:39:30 pm »
I'm in matric and I pop down to visit my girlfriend who is training with her Drum Majorette team on our schools rugby field. At some stage I get bored and decide to leave and pop an awesome wheelie only to flip my bike and have it land on top of me... yes, right in front of the entire drummy team. The world could feel my shame... and my ass was purple and yellow for 2 weeks  :-[

Similar one to yours , our schools netball team are all outside the school waiting for the school bus , my mate comes around the corner and bliksems off in front of all the girls , then he was stupid enough to remove his helmet .
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Offline DUSTRIDERS

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #37 on: October 10, 2018, 12:40:55 pm »
.and get blamed it is MY FAULT she fell. Assessing her "bekkie", I wisely didn't ask for an explanation   :P

I have been blamed in the past about a sandy stretch on a road I have never been on that it is my fault,, I should have known it might become sandy. Then a chirp like "lyk ek soos siener Van Rensburg"? is not the correct one at the time!! :lol8:
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Offline TheBear

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #38 on: October 10, 2018, 12:45:26 pm »
A few years ago we go to Kagga Kamma.  Most dogs will know what the road looks like.  So about 100m from reception my wife dumps her bike in some sand.  She jumped and swore like I never knew she could.  Ten minutes non-stop without using the same word twice.  I noted she was obviously okay so I asked: "Why travel 45km on this terrible road and then fall over with 100m to go?"  Now I REALLY heard her swear like never before!   
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Offline woody1

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Re: Funny motorcycle stories
« Reply #39 on: October 10, 2018, 12:45:31 pm »
A couple of years ago  (1980 or so) we lived in the Eskom Single Quarters in Rosherville.
After a Saturday evening BRAAI and a few dops we decided to visit our favorite stoep in Hilbrow. There where you could buy a Fontana chicken and fresh rolls 24h a day.

So we set of past the container depot.  At the Heidelberg robot Kassie on his GS 750 was caught by the red robot.
Myself on the GS1000G with a pillion and  Herman on a XT500 carried on towards town.

We slowed down WAITING for Kassie to catch up.

Right across the Fresh Produce market Kassie did catch up with us.

Problem was that we we idling along at 30 km/h or so and Kassie SPLIT between us at around 120 km/h.

Luckily I stayed up because of our mass, but poor Herman on the XT500 wiped out in a spectacular show of sparks and plastic pieces all over Heidelberg road.

Instant sobering up and back to the Single Quarters to go and patch up poor old Herman

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