Having just spent 10 days on Honda Quest in everything from tar to especially deep sand and steep technical climbs this is what I suggest;
Onroad: Just leave all the aids on and just fiddle with the different drive/sport/manual options as you desire.
Offroad:
Abs off. BUT, remember it only turns off the rear and the pedal is sensitive and powerful, easily capable of locking it under any conditions.
The front brake is an amazing bit of technology, I am certain that I cannot beat it for braking performance. It is very powerful and unbelievably competent. I couldn't trick it under any circumstances except at almost standstill on very slippery surfaces like a steel floor, then it just rolls on. But how many steel floors are you going to be riding on a under walking speed?
TC. The manual refers to it as torque control not traction control, this is an important distinction.
In deep sand or very steep loose stuff, you are going nowhere with it on. The bike just splutters and farts to a standstill. The reason is that it's trying to reduce torque to stop wheel spin. In those conditions, its actually better to have constant torque allowing the wheel to spin regardless of traction needs. On sand you want access to high power & torque to generate massive wheel spin to get up onto the plane. Whilst on loose steep stuff, you want access to a fair level of constant torque that allows the wheel to grab where it can but not spin up radically.
On gravel TC-3 is very intrusive but provides a high level of safety for very inexperienced gravel riders, it cuts in all the time. TC-1 allows for some wheel spin and will allow the back to step out some before it cuts in. It's pretty sophisticated.
The challenge for the system is when there is lowish RPM, medium to higher torque needs and low/spotty traction. For example when going up a steep pass tricky pass. The secret, if you want to keep traction control on is to force the system to keep high RPM's by not allowing it to change down too soon. The bike will often try for another gear and when it does, the torque control really struggles to keep up and so just reduces the torque available until you sputter to a stop.
With TC on at any level, Drive is successvly worse the higher the TC level for sputtering to a standstill as it tries to get to the higher gears ASAP. Sport 3 will hold a gear the longest, but it's tiring to ride for too long. In the end I would switch between S3/2 and Drive depending. If I wanted some fun then it was S3, for cruising it was Drive.
I seldom had TC on offroad, but did use it from time to time when not riding hard.
Bottom line is off road, if you want TC, force the system to keep a lower gear for best results.
Lastly, the bike will not change gear under full power or very big throttle positions, so if you're riding up a hill and trying to dial in more power as the TC is cutting in, it will need you to reduce the throttle angle just a little to be able to change to a lower gear.