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Author Topic: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga  (Read 14063 times)

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Online ChrisL - DUSTRIDERS

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #280 on: October 28, 2019, 10:55:37 pm »
 if there is a kid of about 13 or older they cna refuse to sell you smokes

But you may smoke in front of your kids at home? Why is the law there then?
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Offline silvrav

Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #281 on: October 29, 2019, 12:29:34 am »
if there is a kid of about 13 or older they cna refuse to sell you smokes

But you may smoke in front of your kids at home? Why is the law there then?

Supermarkets are weiry of selling alchohol to people that might be buying it for the younger generation that is with them. They can even withold selling if they look under 25.

People are not pleased about it but a recent response to a shopper was:

"Our policy is that where there's a person in a group who looks under 25 and our team has reason to believe beer or wine is going to be supplied to a minor, we reserve the right to ask for ID or to refuse the sale.

"Our team has to make a lot of judgment calls every day and we're always trying to get the right balance between adhering to the law and making sure customers can safely access the products they want at our stores."
 

Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #282 on: October 29, 2019, 01:30:39 am »
if there is a kid of about 13 or older they cna refuse to sell you smokes

But you may smoke in front of your kids at home? Why is the law there then?

Yep its wierd... but the law is the law...... And they dont call it the nanny state for nothing...  :imaposer:
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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #283 on: October 29, 2019, 01:33:03 am »
RE selling of smokes at the shop with underaged kids?

Yip same over here in NZ - if there is a kid of about 13 or older they cna refuse to sell you smokes or alcohol, even if it looks like you should be in a retirement home.

Most have learned you maar leave the older kids in the car :peepwall:

Alos @BOZO those blue balls hanging from the truck means something different this side of the world, you might want to google it (hint he most likely will have a "partner" and not a wife)

Yes leaned that quickly.
If you are caught buying for kids underage the fine can be $18 000.... eish imagine having to pay that fine....  :o
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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #284 on: October 29, 2019, 02:51:16 pm »
At what age can one buy booze and smokes legally in Aus?

they dont call it the nanny state for nothing...

They need strict laws to control the offspring of all those ex criminals it seems!! ;) :lol8:
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #285 on: October 30, 2019, 12:47:53 am »
At what age can one buy booze and smokes legally in Aus?

they dont call it the nanny state for nothing...

They need strict laws to control the offspring of all those ex criminals it seems!! ;) :lol8:

I think it depends which state you are in. Here in Vic its 18.
I heard that in the Northern Territory and parts of Western Australia, You have to Show ID (no matter how old you are) every time you buy grog,
All the bottle o's  are linked and when you get to your quota for the day / week / month? you cant buy any more.
https://nt.gov.au/law/alcohol/buying-alcohol/buying-takeaway-alcohol
But its not all bad in the NT they do have cool bumper stickers.   :biggrin:


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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #286 on: October 30, 2019, 05:13:17 am »
Firstly A huge shout out to the peeps that responded to my mail, Its always great to get a reply, even if its just two words.  :thumleft:
I was told by sooooommmee People that my last letter was boring and depressing.
So l apologize in advance and reverse if you got / get that feeling.
In my defence, (and I can do that because this my letter) We are gaanning aan here on the island, the bright shiny new things, are becoming same old same old, and, it’s not all bells and whistles, but have you ever seen a magazine sell sad stories?
Nope.
I’m approaching a year here on this rock and I suppose I would need to do a summary in my next letter. Well. That’s the next letter, what about today’s letter.
It’s a bit mish mash as per usual, but at least there are no jokes about how crappy Renaults are.
Having spent a lot of time in my headspace I have come up with more questions than answers.
Sure I have solved one or two of life’s mysteries, and read a book or two, but there are still questions.
This is not a bad thing, in fact, in my spare time, I’m training myself  to become a supreme master solitaire / minesweeper champ.
One of the thoughts that I’m bouncing around in my head at the moment is “Teenagers”
I’m sure that there will be people here that may have these same pressing questions.

How do you live with a teenager?  :-\
How does the population continue to expand when faced with teenagers?  ???
How do parents get past this stage and still love their offspring?  ;)
How do you do this without losing your mind?
Here, on the Island, the youth seem to think that the world owes them for breathing air and eating food.
Don’t get me wrong there are kids out there (very few) that don’t believe that. They are the ones that keep us holding onto the hope for the future of this country. The rest of these little shits should be pushed into the harbor.
How is it that, you can walk into a shop, pick up anything you like, then walk up to a self-checkout counter, pay and leave. You can sit on a beach and enjoy the open spaces and the view. You can even go camping for FREE in the outback, but you can’t get a well-mannered kid that doesn’t have a chip on their shoulder, or a decent haircut.
Being an Island parent is not easy. I’ve seen with my own eyes, on more than one occasion, a little five year old oxygen thief throw their toys out the cot, and the parent trying in vain to negotiate with it. Yes you read that correctly “negotiate” !!!!!!!

It’s more difficult when you come from a different country where its “ok” to “blicksem” a kid because they think they are clever. I foolishly thought that being a South African that we were immune to the potential onslaught of laziness and long hair brought on by a system that believes that kids need to have their asses wiped for them until they are 25.
Well I was wrong. So wrong that I hang my head in shame. It took my offspring approximately 6 months to show cracks at the seams and to let this foul beast infect their ability to realize that they are still kids, and we are still the parents.
“Was I Like this?”
“Was my sister like this?”
I know wonder woman was never like this….. she is perfect……in every way…….. Wink, wink, Nudge, Nudge.  (just in-case she is reading this) :imaposer:

Sure, maybe it’s not only the Island where this happens. Maybe it’s not only my kids, maybe it’s their age, I suppose, to a point, I could even live with the long hair……...
Being a first-time parent I have no reference on how to handle teenagers… I mean I remember being a teenager, I was not part of the “cool” group. I remember waiting in line to use public telephone. And I remember when beer was R20 for a case. But I don’t remember ever being this difficult.
What is a parent supposed to do with this eating, sleeping, non-conversational, hormone fuelled, constant mirror checking and flexing, wise cracking, sloth?
When I hit that age, I was at boarding school. I saw my parents about once a month, to stock up on food, have my washing done, and sleep in my own bed.
Their biggest worry was a crusty sock and what time I would be back from playing 18 holes of golf.
In boarding school I had a system around me that worked on a bell. I did not need to think. We functioned like Pavlov’s dog
BBBRRRRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGgggggggg……. Get up.
BBBRRRRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGgggggggg…… eat breakfast,
BBBRRRRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGgggggggg go to school.
BBBRRRRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGgggggggg…. Eat lunch…..
BBBRRRRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGgggggggg go to sport.
BBBRRRRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGgggggggg eat dinner….
BBBRRRRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGgggggggg do homework
BBBRRRRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGgggggggg go to bed.
Rinse and repeat. Year in and year out. It was simple, and I loved it.
If I thought I was clever or I stood out of line I had someone around to help me remember that I was not that clever and how to tow the line. Nothing like a quick clip around the ear or a quick six with a cane of your choosing to help with attitude, cleverness, tardiness and back chatting.
Fast-forward 20 years and life is clearly tough for these beings. They can barely walk upright. They need to use the edge of the table like a seesaw for their arms to get their food to their mouths. Apparently walls in a house are not to hold up a roof, nooooooooo we need a wall hold onto with dirty hands to turn corners. Even after breakfast is lovingly made every morning, Trenticles and Spiderpig this week alone have both been late for school!!!And school starts at 9:00…….All of a sudden sending them back to Jeppie is starting to look like a good option. 
Does anybody have any advice? 
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Offline Offshore

Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #287 on: October 30, 2019, 08:15:20 am »
I have raised three Daughters, all I can say is ; Suck it up China.  :deal: It gets better when they turn about 19.
Your Revenge will come when you can spoil your Grandchildren to your Heart's Content and there is fuckall they can do about it. :thumleft:
All the Manners that you taught your Kids suddenly are no longer applicable to Grandchildren, the look on their Faces will be Priceless. :ricky:
 

Offline Willem-Ben

Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #288 on: October 30, 2019, 10:58:10 am »
Brilliant reply - I am taking taking notes :spitcoffee:
 

Offline silvrav

Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #289 on: October 30, 2019, 08:43:28 pm »
 ::) I got about 9 years to go before this is me....
 

Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #290 on: October 31, 2019, 06:37:31 am »
I'm just going to put this here today  :thumleft:

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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #291 on: November 01, 2019, 12:53:01 am »
::) I got about 9 years to go before this is me....
Those 9 years go by very quickly......  :eek7:
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #292 on: November 01, 2019, 01:20:11 am »
I have raised three Daughters, all I can say is ; Suck it up China.  :deal: It gets better when they turn about 19.
Your Revenge will come when you can spoil your Grandchildren to your Heart's Content and there is fuckall they can do about it. :thumleft:
All the Manners that you taught your Kids suddenly are no longer applicable to Grandchildren, the look on their Faces will be Priceless. :ricky:

3 Daughters........ Respect!!!!!
They are a daily challenge, the actual struggle is bringing them up in a different country and culture.
Its hard. Let me explain.
Say Trenticles decides to disrespect a teacher by back-chatting.
In South Africa the teacher will not take it and issue detention / send kid out of class / whatever. If we hear about it there will be kak at home aswell.
The situation is dealt with and everyone moves on.
He he does the same thing. The chirp goes ignored and nothing happens so the situation get worse and worse. Nobody is the wiser. (except for the kid who is now pushing the boundary with out even realizing it.)
Eventually the kid gets kicked out of class for being disruptive, and we finally hear about it. with a note....from a student counselor. that is trying to address anger issues with the master manipulator.
When questioned about whats happening the answers are vague and uncommitted.
When we ask the school they wont give answers or insights because, and here is the kicker,......... "South African parents beat their children"
So the parenting style that we were brought up with doesn't really work here and we now need to find different methods.
Yes I know it sounds simple but untill you actually live in a different county these things are actually hard.
Anyhoo we have changed our tiktak and things have improved.....  :o

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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #293 on: November 01, 2019, 01:26:46 am »
AAAANNNYYYYYYYWWWAAYYYYYYYY Bitch Session over

Wonder woman decided that we should get some culture in our lives and did a quick Internet search. Apparently Boredom is not a town in Australia, the “cirque du soleil kooza” (pronounced sirk des olay) was in town and it was decided that this would suffice. I have quickly learnt (learned, lernerd, lernt, fuckit, taught myself) nowadays not to ask the price of the tickets as apparently converting to Rands puts a frown on my face, and I will age terribly. We Jumped into wonder woman’s fancy smanshy new car and drove off into the metropolis that we live in called Melbourne. This Circus was located on horse race track where the Famous Melbourne cup is held every year. Parking was a breeze and I realized then how they can have such nicely tendered gardens at $20 a car. (don’t convert, don’t convert, don’t convert) While this family of giants sauntered towards the big tent, Trenticles gradually increased the distance between us and himself. Spiderpig had blissfully forgotten about the last incident were he had chundered away a weeks pay and was already sizing up every stall that he could buy food at. Being the AWESOME Parent that I am (there is nothing wrong with a little self-pep talk) I waited until we were at the entrance and called everyone over for a selfie!!!! Trenticles, now looking like he forgot to put suntan lotion on, snuck in for a picture and disappeared with his ticket and a muttering that we would see him when the show starts. Spiderpig knows that Wonder Woman has the money as was guiding her towards the food stalls. Basically he was body blocking her into the direction he needed her to go. After a short conversation with the diamond dealer, disguised as a helper behind the counter we walked away with 1 popcorn, 1 small slush puppy, 1 wine split into 2 plastic glasses and a lasting memory of the most expensive “snack” I have ever bought…. Now I know why Steven King’s “IT” was so scary, he went to the sirk-des-olay and bought “snacks”. (just read the reviews on the web) When the show started we were seated in the back row and could see the entire stage. The Clowns were putting on a good show, the lighting and sound effects were good. All in all it was what I was expecting. BUT there were some acts that were unexpected. The Chinese Guy that balanced 14 dining room chairs on top of each other and did a handstand on top was impressive. The double flickflack high jump routine off a sea-saw was good, but, there were these two contortionists that had me looking like a dog cocking its head at seeing a chongololo for the first time. I think I was particularly fascinated by this act as I can’t touch my toes and these candidates don’t need a mirror to inspect an ingrown hair on their butt cheeks. 

Needless to say it was worth it. Because this e-mail is read by my Parents and I would not want them to think that I’m a little strange I have decided not to include my thoughts of what could happen on a cold winters night, some KY Jelly and bottle of red wine!!!!
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #294 on: November 03, 2019, 11:19:35 pm »
Nothing exciting happens on the island, so to keep up with the times we have other incidents that need to make national news.

Being and educational and entertaining thread I thought that possibly a bit of history before the mystery   :thumleft:

In Northern Queensland there is a little town called “Innisfail”. I was going to explain where it is in relation to Melbourne and discuss how tropical and beautiful it is. I was even going to suggest that it may be a good place for a short weekend breakaway. Then I stepped back and looked at the town name, “Innisfail”…… Inn is Fail…… In nis fail……. No matter how you look at it there seems to be some sort of fail here…. As is my self-appointed duty to educate you about the island that we live on I have googled some statistics about the inn-that-failed.
The boring facts are… there are about seven thousand people that live there and it’s always hot and humid.
In fact one could say that looking at the population size, the count of different surnames, and the average temperature that the relative humidity is quite high……. ( :imaposer:)

No matter where you are in the world you need to understand that living in a tropical paradise will have some drawbacks, like sunburn from catching fish, and the odd cyclone that rips through a sleepy hollow with a hotel called failed inn. In this case, however, It’s really how the townsfolk handle these drawbacks that sets them apart.
For example:
Former Deputy Mayor George Pervan of Innisfail was quoted in 2006 on commercial radio during an interview during the aftermath of Cyclone Larry requesting Southern Queenslanders to:
"Send up a truckload of piss so we can all get fucking drunk"  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Innisfail,_Queensland

Sure that was some time ago, and I’m sure that they had a nice party. The repercussions from this type of tropical lifestyle have come to fruition. Just the other day the proof to not smoke and drink during pregnancy was proved yet again. A hormonally charged 18 year old teenager jumped into a crock infested river to impress an English (pom)  backpacker. The article link is below to prove that I’m not making this shit up.  But I’m going to break this down for you in chronological order.
A day previous to this “incident” a teen called “Lee De Paauw” (See? you can’t make this shit up) had happened across this pom that was apparently “kind” to him. (In my world when I was 18, that meant they, ladies not poms,  acknowledged my existence).
They got into some social drinking and after 12 cups of piss, a fairly light drinking session by South African standards, it was getting late and Lee de pawpaw was running out of ideas on how to get lucky, he was spinning a yarn that croc’s only eat backpackers and not Aussies.
I’m sure there was a bit of banter back and forth, much like the KTM and BMW boys and the definition of an adventure bike, where one has been around the world and the other one is orange.  :pot:
A good story is a good story but when attention starts failing in Innisfail, it falls quicker than an aussie girls panties after drinking a "skinny bitch" (vodka and water).
Lee du peehol realized he was at the point of go big, or, go home alone. He was, as most 18 year-olds are, left with the options of:
1.   Yet another night of furiously chocking the chicken alone and lonely or,
2.   Pulling a rabbit from the proverbial hat.
Unknowingly Leeuloop’s choice at that moment would propel him, his lack of forethought , and his town into the news headlines. Obviously Lee lepidopterist went with option 2 and to “prove a point” at 2:30 AM Lee du Poephol swallow dived into the river and promptly got chowed by a patiently waiting croc.
This Crocodile Dundee wannabee forgot that this is not the movies and “That aint a knife Mate, This is a knife!” only works in New York.
This reminded me that screaming underwater is a tactic that was used unsuccessfully by Wonder Woman in Mozambique when she thought she was being attacked by a shark.
Not that Lee would have known that, but I’m sure he knows now that screaming underwater does not scare 3m long saltwater croc.
As all fairy tales go this one also has a happy ending. Lee du poephol survived and is currently nursing a hangover in hospital with the help of some pain killers, plaster of parys, stiches and Sophie Paterson’s (the fruit picking pom) number.
With all the attention focused on this little town the newspaper tracked down the local MP for comment and to question him about what the government was going to do about croc’s eating people at 2:30 am.
Hanging out of his Holden UTE window with his Paul Hogan hat, MP Jason Costigan said “locals should understand the dangers of living in croc country.” And 'Most people have got common sense ... we can't legislate to protect dickheads,'  https://www.smh.com.au/national/queensland/i-didnt-expect-it-croc-victim-wont-return-to-river-20170320-gv2032.html

When reporter asked Lee if he realized that he may just be the dumbest person in Australia,
he said….
Wait for it….
I think he must have taken hours to come up with this answer..

He said.
”haters gonna hate”

 :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/latest-news/qld-teen-recovering-from-croc-mauling/news-story/fe27b5f1f45d90983e26adadb5a681a6

« Last Edit: November 03, 2019, 11:26:37 pm by BOZO »
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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #295 on: November 07, 2019, 04:34:02 pm »
Well I know from personal experience growing up in the East Rand close to your "home town" at 18 we would do stupid shit but not this idiotic. Don't they have their parents cars to steal, dice down Rudo Nell road in Jetpark or jump off mine dumps with beach umbrellas? Kids today Pffttt!!!  :biggrin:
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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #296 on: November 07, 2019, 10:40:15 pm »
Well I know from personal experience growing up in the East Rand close to your "home town" at 18 we would do stupid shit but not this idiotic. Don't they have their parents cars to steal, dice down Rudo Nell road in Jetpark or jump off mine dumps with beach umbrellas? Kids today Pffttt!!!  :biggrin:
I Agree!!!  :laughing4:
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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #297 on: November 07, 2019, 10:57:39 pm »
Firstly GO BOKKE!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm back and I promise that the mood of these posts does improve from here on out. you wanted the good the bad and the ugly. Well now you have read what its like to be alone in a different country, when depression sets in and you are trying like hell to pull out of it. Probably the most important thing is recognizing that its happening to yourself and doing something about it. I'm no doctor (thank the pope) and I don't know how other people deal with depression, but I believe that I have found my way to deal with it.  :patch:.......
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #298 on: November 07, 2019, 11:15:58 pm »
DagSe’ Mense, (that’s hello people) for the non saffers.

The Island never fails to provide entertainment, or some material to pontificate over.
On the day that the earth completed its 41st circumference of the sun with me tying to etch out an existence. We were invited to a game of old man’s marbles, at St Kilda’s bowling club.
We met up with Nicola “The Burn”, her sister Penny “The Fashionista”, some Frenchies, a Goth Aussie, that could have been a vampire, and an Irish bloke with his aussie girlfriend.
I could give you a short history lesson about St Kilda’s Bowling Club’s and the famous hallowed grounds that we trod upon, I could enlighten you into the methods of the green-keepers tasks of looking after the grounds and keeping them in such an incredible state, but I won’t, instead I will tell you that they had Draft Beers for $10 each and I think I had 10.
At current exchange rates that’s R1000.00 for 5 litres of beer. Eish!!!! Oh well when in Rome do as the poor people do, sit in the sun and bak ballas.
It was game on and after countless ends I think one team won.
A Short 13 days later Wonder Woman got “older” and was graced with a few gifts as an offer of thanks for being on this earth and helping it become a better place.
Being at her advanced age we needed to cut short our celebrations as it was a week night and us “old folk” need to get some sleep.

48 hours is a movie with Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy and was a comedy about 2 cops that are partners that depend on each other and sometimes they even get along. It was so good they made another one and called it Another 48 Hours.
In the life of Bryan (mwerte) 48 hours after wonder woman has a birthday its April Fool’s day as well as our wedding anniversary, this union may not be a comedy and it probably won’t make any money but it’s so good that there is a new better story written every year and we are now on year 17……my fuck…… someone needs a medal.
The critics have written their reviews and there was the usual commentary about who was the fool and who needs the award but in the end everyone is a winner…….(she made me write that last bit)  ;D

To celebrate this magnanimous occasion and being inspired by our recent visit to the sirk-des-olay Wonder Woman had jumped on to the interweb and purchased tickets to go to dinner at a Comedy Cabaret Ristorante, where we got to fill our pie holes with interesting dead things and watch Vampires attempt to etch out an inanimateness* in show business.

In the Vampire world you have the Rich and the Poor. The haves and have-nots.
The Business class and the cattle class.
You have the Bram Stokers of the underworld and then you have the wannabe’s that must work for their half pint of blood. Go figure!….
And all this time I thought it was like vampire dairies, where you get to live in a mansion, pork a pretty girl, that’s clearly not well in her head, and occasionally drink some blood.
Naaa I think being I werewolf will be easier, at least if you lick your nuts in public no-one will even look at you sideways. 
Anyhoo back to the show. It was pretty good and the venue was AWESOME. My favorite part was the bar**.
The attention to detail was out of this world, it felt like being in Frankenstein’s lab, with body parts everywhere, skeletons in the floor tapping on the floor boards.
It was really really good. If you are ever in Melbourne and want to do something different. I would recommend this as a good evening’s entertainment. 
The Highlight of the show was this one part where you get to see the one birds boobs. For like 10 seconds…… talk about lasting memories!!!
http://www.draculas.com.au/

*that’s actually a word, and probably, more importantly used quite cleverly in this sentence  8)
**Any establishment that gets a mention in these pages better have a good bar or it’s just not going to make it.   ;D ;D
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline IanTheTooth

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! The Island Saga
« Reply #299 on: November 08, 2019, 03:51:40 am »
The drug dealer's dog

One thing I've realised about this country is that a lot of people who would normally be institutionalised in one way or another are out on the streets living on state benefits or under the auspices of "carers" who are paid to keep an eye on them. They prefer to be on the streets where they can continue to take drugs, mainly meth and dope. This puppy appeared yesterday morning at my daughter in-laws centerlink (government unemployment) office in a plastic bag while the grifter owner spun a tail of living on the streets and eating out of bins to get his payment expedited. While he was there he stole a book of free bus tickets (which they give to job seekers) which got him from Cannonvale to Proserpine. In Proserpine he found a car with the keys in the ignition outside Ritchie Ford the Ford dealers and made his getaway, not a very long getaway because 300m further up the road at the library my son intercepted him and confiscated the drugs he was going to sell, the stolen car and his puppy. As the pound was closed we finished up with the dog for the night and this morning the drug dealer has made bail. They are pretty soft on that sort of thing. He will try and get his dog from the pound today but they will make it as difficult as they can for him with a whole bunch of administrative charges. My wife was really smitten and I became a bit repetitive....we are not having another dog....we are not....


As a family we really have the bogans (white trash) of the Whitsundays sown up. If they get too crazy the state mental wellness program pays for them to see my wife the psychologist and if they slip on a banana peel in the cells or accidently run into a policeman's fist then I get to sort them out at the hospital.
« Last Edit: November 08, 2019, 04:47:55 am by IanTheTooth »
The dog that caught the car. What now?