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Author Topic: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.  (Read 4293 times)

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Offline BigEd

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #40 on: August 16, 2019, 03:15:15 pm »
 :laughing4:
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Offline I&horse

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #41 on: August 16, 2019, 03:37:35 pm »
Lekker!!!
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Offline roxenz

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #42 on: August 16, 2019, 05:27:50 pm »
Brilliant! LMAO. On my first visit to Aus (1993), I went through exactly the same discussion about coffee...  :imaposer: I'd love to hear about your visit to King's Cross in the Rocks area in Sydney (not Sidney). You did go there, right?  >:D
 

Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #43 on: August 16, 2019, 11:16:21 pm »
Brilliant! LMAO. On my first visit to Aus (1993), I went through exactly the same discussion about coffee...  :imaposer: I'd love to hear about your visit to King's Cross in the Rocks area in Sydney (not Sidney). You did go there, right?  >:D


Iíve been to Sydney a good few time since I have been here. All I see of that place is the airport the hotel and the place that Iím working. To be honest itís so expensive and gridlocked that I canít be bothered.....
I know, I suck, I should be like all the others and explore the new cities I visit.... ... give me wide open spaces, thick forests and rivers thanks.....
Oh and there is also this one little problem. In South Africa you can put me anywhere and I will be able to tell you which way is north. Here downunder.... Iím screwed I walk out of a building and I canít find the car park in front of me.


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Offline Gene

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #44 on: August 17, 2019, 11:04:08 am »
 :imaposer: :imaposer: :imaposer: :imaposer: :laughing4: :thumleft:
 

Offline rubiblue

Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #45 on: August 18, 2019, 02:08:46 pm »
Hahahaha. Enjoyed this. Keep it rolling.
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #46 on: August 19, 2019, 12:05:43 am »
G'day

Does anybody watch TV or the news? Has anybody bought a newspaper and not used it to pack glasses, clean windows or light a fire but actually read it?

I can say without a doubt that there are a few people in this list that have not bought a newspaper in years.

Before you start thinking about some witty reply, Iím not talking about the local free ďreportĒ (Afrikaans version) or ďcity timesĒ (English version). This is a valuable document that is delivered every week to our door steps.

This valuable information that we consume like a ďhuisgenoot / youĒ  in order to know whatís happening in our neighbourhoods.

If you have mildly successful kids in sport or academics you can cut out the pictures of them and leave them lying around in strategic positions so that when people visit you can draw their attention to the article and show off.

You should you wonderful parent you, why not! Hell you are so special that you produced another human being that can not only inhale oxygen and exhale carbon di-oxide, this special person is now immortalized forever in the historic records of the shitty little backwater town that you live in. Congratulations!!!

I can say with absolute certainty that I never had to put my parents through that kind of mundane ritual of checking every week to see if I made the papers, I can also say that I can only think of one other person that was that kind to his parents (you all know one) although Iím not sure about that anymore. Freaking overachieverÖÖ.

To elaborate on this topic a touch, as one does, when one is bored, or just feels like elaborating. My sporting and academic achievements at school were never really whispered in the sacrosanct (thatís a real word by the way, and I used it in the correct context) corners of the staff room or sports field, and they were probably best described asÖÖÖ.not very good, average, probably closer to  ďag shame at least he triesĒ.

I mean I only managed to scrape through with a certificate of achievement for acting, a solid top of the class certificate for woodwork prize, 3 years in a row baby, and a stock standard blue blazer that lasted me right through to matric. There was no need to sew little scrolls on the side or add a ribbon to the outline or god forbid make my parents go out and buy a whole new white blazer because I was special.

There are people out there whose parents had to buy an extra free paper because their picture was on both sides of the page.(you know who you are in this list).. NOOOOO I was not that kind of student.

But I digress, in fact I have digressed so far that I canít remember why I started writing thisÖÖ.

Iím sure there was Beer, Cigarettes, Golf, Mates, Bars, Cars, Road tunes, road trips or motorbikes and women in there.  Why else write anything?

AHHHH now I remember,

We have a local newspaper and they have a crime section, is called ďkeeping up with the crime your areaĒ or some other k@k, and the area that they cover is probably the size of Benoni / Boksburg / Centurion / Springs. Pick the one that you can relate the size to and not all of them.

There were a ďspateĒ of Car break-ins and people were really pissed off.

Some of the cars had their doors opened and their spare change was  taken. (these were the unlocked ones)

Others had windows broken and laptops taken of front seats (these were locked)

All of these cars are parked in the street overnight.

One guy even reported his car missing, but luckily they found it about 4km away with no fuel in. ( Iím still waiting for the TV crew to interview him)

First world problems...
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Offline IanTheTooth

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #47 on: August 19, 2019, 12:18:20 am »
Newspapers! Something that I couldn't get to grips with when I arrived. There isn't the constant flow of free papers delivered to your door so for a long time I really struggled with some newspaper to put down for painting or wiping up after a job or putting dirty greasy things on. I've largely solved this by scouting around the hospital and collecting all the free copies of the Whitsundays Times and as a bonus the whole family has appeared in the paper in our various sports. My son is just a bit miffed to find out what happened to the people he's arrested on page 3 before he gets to hear through official channels.  This is for serious miscreants like the graffiti artist who can't spell his own name etc. but he did have to pull his firearm in a domestic violence call out. The police carry with a bullet in the chamber here, no second chance.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2019, 02:52:46 am by IanTheTooth »
The dog that caught the car. What now?
 

Offline IanTheTooth

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #48 on: August 19, 2019, 01:46:24 am »
Here's the family newspaper cutting I have enjoyed the most. Where I have finished up is a bit of a boating mecca. We are on the sheltered side of the great barrier reef with a whole string of islands on it's sheltered lee. We decide to get sailing again and bought a trailer sailer sports boat called Sardine, a Young Rocket 780, for visiting and camping on the Islands and entering the local yacht club races. For the sailors amongst you it goes a bit like a big Sprog.  There is a big sailing presence in the Whitsundays/Airlie Beach/Hamilton Island area. At the moment the Hamilton Island regatta is on which I believe is the 2nd biggest sailing event in Australia after the big one at Geelong YC in Melbourne.


Anyway, this cutting is of our first race in Australia and the Hogg family cleaned up. This was after being pushed over the line and being held for quite a while before we could go back and start properly. Usually my wife watched the family sailing achievements when we sailed dinghies in RSA from the shore but this time she got to be in the boat! I'm sure the locals would call it beginners luck but us South Africans would call it a damn fine bit of sailing.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2019, 02:15:13 am by IanTheTooth »
The dog that caught the car. What now?
 

Offline IanTheTooth

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #49 on: August 19, 2019, 02:44:59 am »
By the way for the police state brigade. There is no licence, annual inspection, SAMSA documentation or any other officialdom attached to this sailing boat. You put it in the water and off you go if your outboard is less than 4hp as most small sail boats are. The trailer has to be legal and licenced though.
The dog that caught the car. What now?
 

Offline frankmac

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #50 on: August 19, 2019, 07:03:21 am »
"Aggressive start" hey Ian. It's the competitive enduro blood. The other sailors can be thankful they weren't nudged out the way.

Thanks Bozo, I'm enjoying this.
 

Online mox

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #51 on: August 19, 2019, 07:59:09 am »
Loving this.
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Offline IanTheTooth

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #52 on: August 19, 2019, 08:38:30 am »
Nice to hear from you Frankmac. A little nudge can go a long way as my old riding mate Anthony "mad" Marshall will testify after he "nudged" Stuart Beattie on one enduro. I have been thinking about you Frankmac because the story I have been wanting to write is, " The Greater Bower bird and my part in his sex life" (apologies to Spike Milligan) which will be about the incredible variety of what we would call exotic bird life around my house. Australia is not all about spiders, snakes, flies and marsupials.   
The dog that caught the car. What now?
 

Offline frankmac

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #53 on: August 19, 2019, 10:30:57 am »
 :biggrin: I look forward to your book, Ian. From the title it should be a "hoot".

Hijack off.
 

Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! It’s the catchup thread.
« Reply #54 on: August 19, 2019, 01:16:46 pm »
By the way for the police state brigade. There is no licence, annual inspection, SAMSA documentation or any other officialdom attached to this sailing boat. You put it in the water and off you go if your outboard is less than 4hp as most small sail boats are. The trailer has to be legal and licenced though.
I believe that sailing and boating are in your blood. You either love it or you are happy to be on dry land. I enjoy the water and I would even say sailing. Especially when it’s someone else’s boat! You are fortunate enough to be living in the perfect area for that. Nice warm weather clear blue sea, and scantily clad shelias happy to haul anchor.... down here in the south of the island for 8 months of the year I see boats growing barnacles, hiding from the rain and sleet being blown off the southern ocean. And the only scantily clad birds are the seagulls that have crossed Port Phillip Bay looking for a dropped “slap chip” called hot chips.
Thanks for sharing you family story, it’s awesome that you all could do something like that together.



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« Last Edit: August 19, 2019, 11:33:24 pm by BOZO »
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Offline IanTheTooth

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #55 on: August 20, 2019, 02:50:37 am »
BOZO, you are definitely onto something about the weather that is hard to work out in South Africa. Don't get me wrong, Queensland is hot, in the middle of summer it can feel like Durban turned up to number 11 but on the whole it is cooler and less humid than you would expect. We are at 20 degrees below the equator in the Whitsundays about level with Beira and a great deal of the year is surprisingly dry and mild, even a bit cold overnight. Humidity can be astoundingly low when it is hot as the air mass comes mainly from inland. Brisbane, on the same latitude as Durban can feel more like Pietermaritzburg in winter and a largely dry heat in the summer. Melbourne can have miserable weather as obviously so can you! There is also the persistent trade winds that blow from the south along the coast, usually about 15knots. Often I see overseas cyclists stopping for a rest while doing the big adventure cycle from Cairns to Melbourne and I can tell them that they are cycling the wrong way and it's only going to get worse. It's cruel to be kind.
The dog that caught the car. What now?
 

Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #56 on: August 20, 2019, 06:05:04 am »
Urgh Weather.... Look in Melbourne the weather changes hourly. You can wake up to an amazing blue sky and warm weather. Have a quick coffee and then grab your umbrella and put a jacket on.
It takes time to get used to it but on the bright side you do get to wear all your seasonal clothes in one day..  :imaposer: in one of my upcoming posts I do talk about it a bit.
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #57 on: August 21, 2019, 01:07:54 pm »
I think that todays and the next few will be about the experiences of my family arriving on the island. Now obviously this is how I see it, and if they have a different view then they should have been here first.  
I see myself in the same situation as Jan van ReebeerÖÖk when he landed in Cape Town, or Dr. LiverÖÖstone when he nearly fell over the cliff of Victoria falls. (musi-a-atunda). I was also completely alone with no support, no ship, no slaves, no food, or 400 porters to carry my stuff aroundÖ. And more importantly of course being the first person in the island EVER makes me awesome. I wonder when they will stamp my face on a coin!!!
 
Unlike Oscar award winning Tom Hanks in castaway, where he grew an enormous beard that remained clean for his entire stay, and losing a considerable amount of weight. I readied myself for almost a week before  the arrival of my family. My hair was trimmed I was clean shaved and I had surprisingly not lost too much weight.  There was some man scaping that went on just in case!!!!
I spent the morning trying desperately trying to pass time, I went shopping, I went for a walk, I cleaned the house, hell I even washed the toilets. So all of this was done before 12:00 and I still had 6 more hours to wait.
This in south Africa would typically not be an issue. Hell the solution is easy, I would have popped down to Hooters, grabbed a table an nursed some beers for a couple of hours. Here however, that is not the case.
So I waited patiently until about 16:30  when I could not wait any longer. I jumped into my high performance racing car with the flappy paddles on the steering wheels and charged down the hi-way at a steady 80km/h I even pushed it up to 85km/h at a point. Feeling devilishly brave at one point I even went through an orange light and nearly flipped off a truck driver. (thank goodness I had not lost complete control and managed to hold back on that one. Who knows how the trip could have turned out). It was raining and the hi-way was scheduled to be closed later that night so I knew I was in for an exciting drive. The adrenaline was coursing through my veins as I finally pulled into the airport parking. Had I known that it was going to cost $15 an hour I probably would have left later and driven slower.  Well hindsight is 20/20  or hindsight is a perfect science, you pick Iím still $30 short.
But enough about me letís move on.
I strolled into the pickup area expecting to see a crowd of people and a coffee shop but I suppose that being a Saturday afternoon all the Aussies are cracking a cold one and watching the footy. They probably also knew the price of the airport parking. Now you know that in SA as a person that is coming to collect a person you canít get to the Jobby that the suitcases arrive on. You know the conveyer belt system. There is a security guard and dog and a one way door and railing to stop you getting to that area. Well in Australia there is none of that. If one was so inclined one could actually do some serious xmas shopping there. Sure you may get some dirty laundry but you may also get some really cool stuff. (Iím just saying)
 
I waited, and waited until the flight finally arrived. I was so excited and I waited, tying to be calm, you know that look, all harry casual leaning up against a pillar, not a care in the world. That was me. And I waited.
The people got off the plane and collected their bags, and people were saying hello to loved ones and smiling and shit.
And I waited.  My harry casual stance had now taken on a not so harry casual stance. It was more of a crouching tiger / leaping dragon stance. By now I have already sent 3 WhatsAppís and checked my phone for responses. Because clearly the last time I got here with a SA sim card and could not send a WhatsApp things have changed. What a fool I have become, I smile to myself in my crouching tiger / leaping dragon stance.
Eventually after what seems an age (probably 15 minutes) I Spot themÖ My family!!.. There they are. My heart fills with pride and happiness and sadness and joy. Iím a bag of mixed emotions. But mostly with joy and laughter. Spiderpig has not disappointed and is wearing a tracksuit that makes him look like a road cone. He is talking incessantly and pulling a wheelie suitcase behind him causing havoc. He is crossing the paths of people ,every time he turns to check if someone is listening,  and causing everyone to walk and stop and walk and stop. Trent is Bitching at his brother and trying to look cool at the same time and Nikki as per usual doesnít seem to notice any of the chaos going on around her. She has even adjusted her walk to time Spiderpigís crossing her path so she can just glide past like an ice skating ballerina on her way to do a triple mid-air spinning back kick with a ĺ  half crank backwards landing. God itís a wonderful thing to be able to watch this.
Eventually we collect the bags and let me tell you we have bags. I was starting to wonder if I needed to buy a bigger car!!!! One bag is missing a handle and a wheel. And the bags are all 20000000kg heavy.
By the time we get to the car the one bag is missing 2 opposing wheels and a handle and I have to carry that one. Spiderpig is half way though his version of ďgone with the windĒ with his nonstop talking, Trent is still trying to get is brother to keep quiet and Nikki is still Ice skating like a Pro.
We managed to Jam the bags in to the car and get on our way and I drove like a bat out of hell (75km/h) to get home.
WOW and thatís just the airport!!!


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Offline Ganjora

Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #58 on: August 21, 2019, 01:15:48 pm »
wow.
 :o
 

Offline ROOI

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Re: Australia.... Not Another one! Itís the catchup thread.
« Reply #59 on: August 21, 2019, 01:21:16 pm »
Sub :deal:
FTS