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Offline RrP

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #500 on: March 20, 2020, 09:56:12 pm »
Dude the C virus ain't gonna come anywhere near you.

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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #501 on: March 22, 2020, 10:52:35 pm »
:eek:

Indeed.

I suspect your boss will never, ever again share a room with you :eek:

LOL unfortunately That has not been the case, fortunately since then, the rooms we had had have been better.
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #502 on: March 22, 2020, 10:55:16 pm »
Dude the C virus ain't gonna come anywhere near you.

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COVID19......
Colon Only Vacated In Desperation v 19.   aannnd go!!

 ;D
« Last Edit: March 22, 2020, 11:44:18 pm by BOZO »
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Offline Mr Zog

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #503 on: March 23, 2020, 01:59:14 am »
Dude the C virus ain't gonna come anywhere near you.

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COVID19......
Colon Only Vacated In Desperation v 19.   aannnd go!!

 ;D


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Offline goodtoogo

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #504 on: March 23, 2020, 06:01:20 am »
Carrier of the virus is dead

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Offline BigEd

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #505 on: March 23, 2020, 08:48:48 am »
COVID19......
Colon Only Vacated In Desperation v 19.   aannnd go!!

 ;D

Makes sense...
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #506 on: March 24, 2020, 12:17:50 am »
Ok onto part one of the latest letter.

Captains log: Star-date 10 July 2018, Qantas Flight QF63, Location Earth, Sothern Hemisphere, Africa, South Africa, Gauteng, Johannesburg International Airport Ramp 18, Current mode of transport Boeing 747-400.
This intercontinental star Cruzer is 20+ years old, no wonder its delayed again. The mechanics are leafing through the yellowed dogeared pages of the manual again to try to figure out how to put the fuel cap back on….
Its gonna be a long ass flight………
And so todays story begins. Fasten your seatbelts, put your seat in the upright position, and do a quick crotch check.
I was sitting in this big metal tube that weighs 412,000 kg at take-off, with a wingspan of 64m, It has 4 jet engines all putting out 254kN each (that’s 462 horsepower each) that will fly at 10,000m (10km or 30,000 feet) above ground.
It was my last leg of the big loop around this blue planet that we all live and breathe on.
I however was not thinking about these statistics I was not thinking about the fuel consumption of how this airborne air compressor will use 117,027 kg of fuel to get me back the island.
I was thinking about my time in Africa. I was trying to not think about the lump in my throat and the ache in my heart.  :'(
I knew where I was going and more importantly, I knew what I was leaving behind.  :'(
Difficult does not begin to describe those moments of solitude sitting riiiiiiiiiiight at the back of the plane. With nobody to take my mind off my current situation and the dread of the 14 hours of travel ahead, the word difficult just doesn’t seem to explain how I felt...
Difficult, can however, be made worse…… When an almost 130cm tall, anglo-saxon-australian-ex-queensland-now-living-in-melbourne-south-african with a mixed Afrikaans-Aussie accent that evolved from living on the island for 25 years, sits down and wants to chat about his impending divorce right off the bat. That’s how you make difficult difficultererr. (URGH.. REALLY)
I’m not sure what the rules are for international travel but I don’t think that that’s how you start a conversation with a complete stranger on an aeroplane while surreptitiously claiming the arm rest……..
No My Friends I was not thinking about the aeroplane, I was not thinking about my new friends impending divorce or the armrest. Mainly because I have absolutely no interest in them at all.
I was thinking about all of you. Luckily for all of us time has healed some of that pain and I’m able to recount some of the more favorable times that was spent on the motherland. ;)
Don’t get me wrong, all the moments were favourable but nobody actually wants to hear about the stock standard “We had a braai, talked kak and drank some beers” type of story.
If you want a story like that then watch 50/50 while dopping a brannas and coke.
On the plus side I see you can now buy “Brannas and Coke” on tap at Hooters….. How lekker is that?.... Hooters is lekker ,not Brannas and Coke, that shit will kill you.  :lol8:
My time started like any other, (you know when you read these words “ my time started like any other”  this with no context set it could be an opening statement for taking a dump, or some other epic event, rest assured this time its not about taking a dump. )
This time is in the context of travel, sort of, I say that like I’m a world traveller, a continent skipper,  like I have been round the world and I have seen things that no other person has seen which is partly true, my eyesight is shocking, so I probably missed a lot aswell.
On reassessment of that initial statement, my time started just like the last time I was in Africa on holiday only this time I didn’t have kids with me and I was converting from Dollars to Rands.
I felt like a millionaire….No, No, No.. that’s not quite right, I felt like a Hundredthousandaire….no not quite that either, I felt like a Thousandaire, yes that’s better. I felt like a Thousandaire.
I had a thick wad of R10 notes and I was not scared to spend them on beer, cigarettes and good times. And trust me when I say sucking back on a Beer that costs the equivalent of $ 0,70 actually does make it taste better.
The Bush……. A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush. A beer in the bush is better…
Hooters……..What’s to say about hooters, Hooters food quality is clearly very good and the waitresses are clearly loving the deep fried chicken wings with ranch dressing.
The Labour laws are clearly in the favor of the workers and not the clients, or, the quality control department is blind.
I met my old work family there and was not disappointed. Veldskoen was unnaturally smiling and laptopless, I kept checking over my shoulder for the film crew from “you must be joking” , Doc did not thwart my expectations with his literal translation of French to English while banging away on his keyboard and alternating between curly fries, tato’ tots, boneless chicken wings and a single whipskey and soda.
Marlene brought her shitty Renault disguised as a Nissan, slowly sipped vodka’s mixed with something and spent time jumping in with comments that were off topic and confusing but kept us on our toes, more importantly she had job offers, and bribes, to attempt to get me to stay.
Needless to say, we had more than the average persons liquid diet of bottled chicken, and laughter.  But alas our fun time had to come to an end as the wheels of the African economy needed to keep turning and the population needed to return to work.
With the mounting energy levels of a male sloth on heat I was off to my next destination on my short African “Safari”
*part 2* next up.
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline goodtoogo

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #507 on: March 24, 2020, 01:48:23 am »
Coranials.  COVID. Children of the virus in December.  9 months from now

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #508 on: March 24, 2020, 04:33:55 am »
Would this be a shituation comedy?  :sip:

Naaah.... just talking kak!
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I am far too short to be taken too seriously.

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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #509 on: March 25, 2020, 12:37:21 am »
 :laughing4:
One of my favorite pastimes.
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #510 on: March 25, 2020, 02:02:55 am »
Out of sync update.
Has anybody seen this site?
I thought its quite informative .
https://www.covidvisualizer.com/
« Last Edit: March 25, 2020, 02:04:07 am by BOZO »
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #511 on: March 25, 2020, 03:50:25 am »
Out of sync update.

COVID -19
 
The world has gone mad!!
The general population has not heeded the warnings from the World Health Organization, about social distancing etc etc. To be fair however can we really blame them?
We are pumped daily with “News” from around the world, sensationalization of anything from cheating sports heroes to continual coverage of a president in a foreign country.
We have eventually become numb, or de-sensitized to just about everything.
So when the news started broadcasting that  COVID-19 or is that COVERT-19 was discovered in some village in China 8 time zones away and in a foreign language, we all scrolled passed it like it was clickbait.
Well 3 months later and all of a sudden borders are closing, all non-essential travel is banned, there is no toilet paper, the shelves are bare and we have been forced into isolation to stop the spread of this contagion.
End of days preppers are lapping this up like its Christmas, already safe in their hidey holes, polishing their armaments, checking and re-checking their supplies.
All safe in the knowledge that when the zombie phase of this pandemic hits they gonna crack some skulls!!!
This is actually a main talking point for spiderpig who is going to buy himself a metal baseball bat….. because according to hm a melee weapon is useful when the undead are about to descend upon us.
I nodded like I know what he was talking about. I eventually had to look up melee. it means a confused fight or scuffle.  :lol8:
Methinks that PlayStation has given the lad an unrealistic sense of his own ability. I have always found that when there is a confused fight or scuffle its best to back up against a wall, shuttle sideways to the exit and bolt like an Olympic athlete, leaving only takkie foot prints in the garden bed.
So what does all of this mean to us the common person on the street. The ones that need to work, pay rent and feed eating machines.
Stress, are our jobs safe? How long will this last? What will life look like on the other side of this? Who knows.  ::)
The guy in charge of the island crapped his pants a few days ago when he had taken time to explain to the nation that social distancing was there to flatten the curve.
Shortly after that the beaches were packed with aussies.
Now we cant have dinner parties, hair salons, tattoo parlours and all other non-essential business must close. 
Thank the pope that the bottleshops are seen as essential!!! Just this morning, seeing as I’m now home bound, I thought I would pop out to get some toilet paper, soap and fresh ingredients.
We are literally on our last roll of toilet paper and I finished the last bar of soap. Guess what!!  No toilet paper and no soap. I eventually found soap at the second shop I went to at an exorbitant price. Normally we pay $2 for 5 bars of soap. I paid $4 for one bar of homeopathetic soap. Let me just tell you that stuff better may my gat smell very nice or I’m off to Bunnings to buy sugar soap. (its like clean green)

AAAAANNNNNNNYYYYYYYWAAAYYYYYYYYYYY. I had organized a weekend away for wonder woman and I to celebrate our 20 years of union. These amorous / romantic  plans have been laid to rest so there will be no hanky-panky in a tent in the Grampians. Oh no dear readers, there will only be mowing of lawns, digging of garden beds and other honey-do list items that need to be completed.
This is not so bad as we are comfortable with each others company(so I've been told :biggrin:).
Spiderpig on the other hand who have been practicing social distancing since we arrived on the island has now decided that this is bullshit and feels that now is the time that he wants to be social with his mates. (facepalm) As his luck would have it he PlayStation remote broke on day one of isolation and he doesn’t have any money to purchase another one.
I’m not a bad parent, mostly, and I understand his quandary. I said to him if he does extra chores I will buy him one and his life can continue ad nauseam.
Most people would have been chipper and jumped at the opportunity to make $60. But by now I’m sure you have surmised that this was not the case.
His shoulders slumped, further, his bottom lip rolled out and hit the floor like a Turkish rug being sold by a desperate salesman at a carpet emporium.
As his eyes started to roll backwards in his head and he backed away I reminded him that I’m not his bank and it this would be a cash before delivery type deal. Being the clever Trevor that I am I have already ordered a remote and I will display it on the kitchen counter with a list of cores that need to be completed before he can have it. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA….. Stay tuned for this developing situation I’m sure desperation will eventually win in the end.
Its not all doom and gloom, Trenticles who is working at a butcher says that they are so busy they don’t even have time to fill the shelves. As the meat is ready its sold, apparently the shop has done record sales every day for about 2 weeks he mentioned $20k a day…. Jussie that’s a lot of mula. Even if it’s a false positive..
And finally look at my company I have when trying to work…

 

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #512 on: March 25, 2020, 11:41:10 am »
. As the meat is ready

Bozo what do you pay for meat in Aus? Sheep and beef, the rest goes under vegetables!! ;) :lol8:
OK chicken and pig prices too. I am just curious as to what you pay in a country that has a lot of the above, sheep and beef.
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #513 on: March 26, 2020, 06:26:19 am »
meat (chicken especially) prices are related to the labor that goes into it.
Also where you buy it from. if it from a local butcher add 20% - 30%
for example:
Whole chicken : $4/kg
Chicken pieces : $ 8/kg
Skinless chicken: $ 12/kg

Beef:
Ausies dont like rump for some reason.
Mince: $ 10 /kg
Rump: $ 24 /kg  (I can get it for about $16 /kg)
Porterhouse : $ 32/kg
Rib eye steak $ 40 /kg
eye fillet : $ 60/kg

Lamb:
lamb roast : $ 24/kg
lamb cutlets: $ 40/ 660g

We eat alot of roast chicken ,mince and rump.

Every now and again there are specials on lamb where the prices are about half then we buy those.
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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #514 on: March 26, 2020, 10:34:34 am »
meat (chicken especially) prices are related to the labor that goes into it.
Also where you buy it from. if it from a local butcher add 20% - 30%
for example:
Whole chicken : $4/kg
Chicken pieces : $ 8/kg
Skinless chicken: $ 12/kg

Beef:
Ausies dont like rump for some reason.
Mince: $ 10 /kg
Rump: $ 24 /kg  (I can get it for about $16 /kg)
Porterhouse : $ 32/kg
Rib eye steak $ 40 /kg
eye fillet : $ 60/kg

Lamb:
lamb roast : $ 24/kg
lamb cutlets: $ 40/ 660g

We eat alot of roast chicken ,mince and rump.

Every now and again there are specials on lamb where the prices are about half then we buy those.
I see you not so hot on pig? ;) :lol8:

Bozo have you tried Roo and how does it taste if you did?
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Offline IanTheTooth

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #515 on: March 26, 2020, 02:13:03 pm »
Bozo have you tried Roo and how does it taste if you did?

Don't get excited Chris.
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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #516 on: March 26, 2020, 03:29:20 pm »
Bozo have you tried Roo and how does it taste if you did?

Don't get excited Chris.
That bad?!! :o :(
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Online TeeJay

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #517 on: March 26, 2020, 09:27:42 pm »
Out of sync update.
Has anybody seen this site?
I thought its quite informative .
https://www.covidvisualizer.com/

Nice site this - thanks for posting :thumleft:
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #518 on: March 26, 2020, 11:39:31 pm »
Bozo have you tried Roo and how does it taste if you did?

Don't get excited Chris.
That bad?!! :o :(
Kids dont like pig unless its bacon  :imaposer:
Yep, I quite like it, tastes like venison.  :thumleft:
« Last Edit: March 26, 2020, 11:42:39 pm by BOZO »
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #519 on: March 26, 2020, 11:41:41 pm »
Out of sync update.
Has anybody seen this site?
I thought its quite informative .
https://www.covidvisualizer.com/

Nice site this - thanks for posting :thumleft:

No Worries Mate  : :thumleft:

this is a better one
https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
1150 GS, 1200 GSA, 125 KX, WR450  (all sold) :(
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