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Offline ChrisL - DUSTRIDERS

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #520 on: March 26, 2020, 11:43:53 pm »
Bozo have you tried Roo and how does it taste if you did?

Don't get excited Chris.
That bad?!! :o :(

Yep, I quite like it, tastes like venison.  :thumleft:
Pricing compared to other meats? Could one live on it as in twice a week or so? Stew kind of meat, lekke curry?
Does it taste better than ostrich? If so then I will eat it ;)
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #521 on: March 27, 2020, 02:32:19 am »
Its not that expensive. About the same as rump /kg
I think it has a stronger taste than ostrich. is lekker in a pot :pot:
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #522 on: March 30, 2020, 05:21:31 am »
I received a box to put my tools in for my birthday, As I have a tin shed as a garage I needed to fashion some type of wall to hang it from, I was off to Bunnings where I found boards for $13 each. O bought 3 and hung them, I then hung the box and placed all my tools, Next week I will be able to hang the other tools so they are easy to get to / find, all I need now is a vice and some other bits and bobs. Soon enough I will be able to start some other projects. Looking forward to that.
Lo-and-behold before and after
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #523 on: March 30, 2020, 05:28:45 am »
Being Stuck at home I decided to document my progress with de-weeding my lawn.
We have this weed I think its called bindi weed, during the summer months it is not that obvious but as soon as it gets a bit cooler then it starts rear its ugly head. It pops up overnight like a family of moles have migrated from a distant country. If you don’t control it from the get go you are overrun and then, well, you’re fucked!
At our old house (rental) I tried several methods to control it, physically digging it up, round-up, weed-killer, paying a teenager per sprout and nothing really works, especially the teenager. Until I found Weed & Feed.
You are supposed to scatter it like fertilizer but I found that it turns the grass black for a few days. 
My method has been to just sprinkle some on the offending weed.
I don’t often complement the citizens of the island but today I have to give kudos where its due.
This stuff is cool. And on the bright side I can do a daily patrol and get any ones that I’m missing.
Check how quickly this stuff works, before, application and 1 and 2 days later.
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #524 on: March 30, 2020, 05:37:11 am »
I spent the weekend doing some Jobs around the house. Not because of COVID, Just because I had got to that part of the list.
The wooden stuff at the bottom was frot and kak looking so I bought a section, cut it to size and painted it as an experiment. I have fitted it and now it looks better. The next sections have been purchased and will be fitted next weekend. I recon when that’s done it will look much better.
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #525 on: March 30, 2020, 05:37:55 am »
Weekend work continued…..
I hung some blinds on the stoep in preparation for winter/rain, at some stage we will put heating in there.
We wanted to be able to remove the blinds easily so instead of bolting them to the top board I have used brass hooks and eyes. I recon that it went up pretty easily, even though the palooka that put up the stoep did not space the uprights evenly.
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #526 on: March 30, 2020, 05:39:25 am »
Weekend work continued…..
Trenticles also wanted to make a biltong box so I rummaged around for bits and bobs, we will be using ventilation as apposed to a light to dry out the meat. 
Due to social distancing restrictions I had to use a spare threaded bolt to hang the meat from. I will get some wooden dial sticks when get the chance.
I have never made billies before so after a YouTube tutorial we will see how this pans out…..
If it does then this will be a new hobby 😊
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Offline Ri

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #527 on: March 30, 2020, 09:43:12 pm »
Well done on all the zogging! Seems very neat work.
 
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #528 on: March 31, 2020, 01:33:21 am »
Well done on all the zogging! Seems very neat work.
Thanks, Neat is how Wonder Woman likes it.  :pot:
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #529 on: March 31, 2020, 02:29:43 am »
Nothing like Hijacking your own thread..... I'm sure that everyone is getting gatfol of COVID so let me get back to my timeline.
If you have forgotten where we are.
Here's a quick catchu
I had just visited SA from the GoodolUSofA and was sitting in the airport on my way back to the island. you would have read part one of my African Safari.
herewith part 2:

As they say. The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

The Next day my strategy was to get to Mel’s farm (100km away) as quickly as possible I made the mistake of taking a 150km detour going passed Sparky’s house. The cemented whatsapp plan was to be at his house at 10:00 and leave at 10:30…. Re-Read that last part……. The key word is Mistake. In the 30 minutes between my arrival and our expected departure some Dude drove into his gate buckling it effectively trapping us in his driveway.
For 4 hours……Fuckit…. On the bright side it was 4 hours that we used to chat about the important things in life, like the average speed of human nail growth vs the amount of slime a snail can produce in an hour in winter….
Eventually we were on the road and raced like 60 year old’s to the farm, at one stage we nearly hit 130km/h. The wind was in my thinning hair, and it felt good.
After 30km of dirt road, the African dust brining back memories of a better life we, pulled up to the house, the first thing we saw was the Man of the hour, the reason we were visiting Mzansi, the man that was going to marry my niece,
This beanstalk redhead had the look and gait of a forlorn hangdog orangutan. Standing in the middle of the construction area doing a slow motion, low energy impi dance.
This effect was possibly brought on from the work that he was doing in the weeks before, building a fuckoff big Stoep for a wooden table that Gavin bought had for Mel.
Luckily for the forlorn hangdog orangutan, support had arrived in the form of Two Management supervisor consultants, one with newly gained international world circling experience, the other with real construction and golf cart experience. These management supervisor consultants also brought beer, lots of beer. For the next 4 of the 5 days Cade, Myself, Ryan and Ryans Partners car were there to guide him down the path of building, plumbing, talking about sex and drinking in moderation. I put moderation at the end of that sentence because if I had said building in moderation, plumbing in moderation, sex in moderation you would know I was lying. We stayed away from giving relationship advice as Ryan’s Partners car was evidence enough of how things can go………….(This is a multiple choice ending
A.   Right
B.   Wrong
C.   He is going to be too busy with the twins to read this mail so I’m safe. 😊)

It seems to be a tradition with these (the big 3 RCR (Ryan Cade and Rob) ) boys to buy potency and force me to drink it with them, if you have never had potency before it’s easy to replicate. Take piss, add sugar, add syrup, add honey, add some more sugar, add some methylated spirits for colour and flavour stir and refrigerate. Then when its cold drink it. Fok! I can feel my back teeth lifting as I write this. So duty done we drank this stuff and the night was overs kadovers for me. I spent the night checking that I still had eyebrows and plotting my revenge. The next night, Ryan had to return to Poloks to park his car on a pillow, Cade and I were alone on the farm with the hangdog orangutan who by now was starting to smile and was clearly starting to benefit from our consulting methods and the beer. There was no potency (yeeha) but there was Tequila, and it was time for me to exsooooooooorsssiiiiiiiiiize the demons….. Cade foolishly decided that Tequila time was only every 15 minutes… needless to say Jose Gold was the winner in the end. I could go on ad nauseum about the beers and the music and the laughter, but, that would be boring for those that were not there.
In almost every letter I believe that we could learn something. I try to include Fact, aswell as Fiction, One could say there is a Mixture of Fact and Fiction. And then there is Fact with “drama” added in percentages. The proportion of “drama” added depends on the lesson to be learned. You decide for yourself what you believe is fact, fiction and “drama”. Gather round, get comfortable, todays lesson comes in the form of an anecdote from the domestic executive Sofie on Mels farm.
She had heard quick sticks from Philemon that we were there and there was a big party going on. I saw him scuttle down the road post-haste on his bicycle the first evening we were there. Obviously (or probably not) we were the talk of the Greater Dinokeng bushveld. Needless to say she was dreading the mess she was going to have to clean. Four days after we had been there she came in, dragging her heels on the dirt road as a sign of silent protest. Her tracks looked like a Renaults Wiring Harness being laid out to trace a fault in the fuse box. I thought that is was a bit like us going to work eveyday in the city…..  When she walked in, she had the look of someone that knew she was in for a day of hard graft. We greeted her in the kitchen and she looked around ready for an almighty mess. Well, did her frown turn upside down!!! She was the happiest person on the farm!. When she looked in the sink she had one Braai Tong, one Steel Plate and one Steak knife to wash. That was all we managed to use in 4 days. I must say I was happy with the results of our efforts, Spark on the other hand was not too happy, apparently man cannot survive on beer alone….. He was Very happy when the food arrived by the bakkie load a few hours later.  So what’s the lesson? If you invite me to your farm I’m a cheap food date and I only make very little mess. 😊
Lesson over!
Yvette and her Partner arrived Saturday morning just after the Boeing flew over, and just like that it was Gin o’clock. Yvette was looking great in her Castle Lager Jacket that I failed to steal. Her partner, who has just stepped out of a muscle and fitness magazine, was covered with bumps and lumps all over his body, ended up being an awesome guy not one of those okes with a high pitched voice that Juices. Unbelievably for once the guy built like a brickshit house was not about to beat me into a pulp and could actually hold a conversation beyond “I like to eat raw eggs and skinless chicken breasts”. I suppose after this letter we will go back to the default position of the big guy wanting to beat the computer guy. That’s ok I have bought a new pair of takkies and I’m fit enough to run like an Ethiopian chasing a malnourished chicken. I cant repeat the conversations that we had as apparently Gin has the same effect on my memory as Jägermeister. AHHH good times.
Next up….. Wedding day Stories, and settling back into life on the island.
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #530 on: March 31, 2020, 03:01:00 am »
This comes as a quick follow up on the last one. As I’m Stuck at home with bad guts. It’s the first time in my life I have thought about the benefits of owning a butt plug.
I could talk about the bride and groom, about how wonderful they looked and how everybody was so nicely dressed. We could chat about the romance in the air and the special meaning of the message from the priest, or even the speeches and the venue.
That’s not really my thing.
I was tasked, as everybody else was, to perform some jobs, nothing too important like looking after the rings. I had to put up a sign board on the road and, lucky for me, I had to cook 80 Burger patties the night before for a small gathering of 50 odd close friends and family. We used the stoep that the Groom built and how’s this, he wasn’t even there to take the credit for his efforts.
There was lots of chirping and greeting and handshakes and advice being handed out. Being busy like that has its benefits. I was not hanging like a fruit bat on the wedding day.
When I sauntered out of the room the next morning and onto the stoep, earlyish, my eyes were assaulted with glorious sunshine, the smell of the bush and a scattering of some layabout’s that clearly did not take into account their alcohol to weight ratio when partying the night before.
Even though the body is 60% water it’s amazing how parsimonious it can be when sending some of that life giving fluid back to your dry mouth, especially after a night of steadily, and happily I might add, feeding it a continuous stream of 375ml doses of flavoured bottled chicken (beer). I’m stunned every time!!!
AANNNYYYYYYWWAWWAAAYYYYYY….  Trying to solve the babalas problem with coca cola is not a solution, Water, Water and hair of the dog is the solution.
Most people were milling around at the farm and at the venue. All the work had been done the day before by the Ladies (you know who you are) who seem to be able to smile through any situation, its quite a feat to watch 5 tannies pull together and decorate a hall and church while taking orders from 2 pregnant “strong willed” Ladies.
With my job done at the venue I returned to the Farm. In the Hustle and Bustle of the activity now taking place I watched as the Photographers took the rings (the wedding rings, the other 2 rings pictures were taken later 😊 ) outside to take photos. They placed them on the rocks in the garden and were oohing and aahing and taking shot after shot.
All of a sardine the wind picked up and just like that both photographers stood bolt upright, it was like someone had stood on a snake. The one that was already pale, went a little more pale, the other one started to dart on the spot, she looked like she was standing in a 30cm wide steel cage and was being prodded with a cattle prodder.
They were communicating in short hand, “waaasit” “eek weetie” “fokit” “waaasit” “chekdaar” “fok fok Fok” I realized that something was asunder.
The pale one left the cattle prodded one still darting in circles and said in a quiet rushed voice to nobody in general. “TheWindBlewTheRingsInToTheRocksAndWeCantFindThemFokit.”
Being from the Island I have learned to listen, repeat in my head and translate. This is what I got.
“The wind blew the rings into the rocks and now we cant find them. …….oops”…….
The cattle prodded one eventually came unstuck and was sticking her hand in holes that I would have thought twice about in the winter.
While she was on the hunt for the rings the pale one was surreptitiously packing the car for a quick getaway if it came to that. Eventually after about 5 minutes the rings were found, the pale plale one returned to being normal pale, the cattle prodded one took the invisible prodder and decided that she was going to do the prodding for the rest of the day.
I decided to take my leave and prepare the Landrover for the Bridal Party. Which brings me to the Bride.
What can I say about the Bride? The closest thing I will ever have to a daughter? When she walked out of the room in her dress, my breath was taken away, she looked stunning, her day had finally arrived, it was her day to be the princess.
Caught up in the moment of it all I floundered around in an emotional haze, my vision had blurred, my hands started to burn and started to feel a numbness in my lower extremities. Luckily for me Wonder Woman was there to save the situation. She took the smoke out between my fingers, (burning problem) took the glass out of my hand (blurred vision) and gave me cushion for the bar stool (numbness).
It was time to get to the Church.
It had been bestowed upon me to drive her to the venue on the Landrover, in typical African Style we had 40 people with for the lift and a short game drive. Eventually we got there without too much drama and the wedding was on.
The Groom had shod his labourer clothes and was looking quite dapper after being pushed through a shower and a losing a battle with a comb. The result was that he was looking quite relaxed and happy. There was the I do, I do, part and then we were into the business end of the wedding.
The Gin Bar was opened, there was a Tequila table and there were some peeps to meet and greet.
We had just completed the Family Photographs when Ryan spotted me and waved me over. This was the big moment. I was going to meet his partner. I must say he had timed it well, I still had all my clothes on, I was sober and he was standing next to the Tequila Tree. Clearly the stories Ryan had been telling her about me were WAAAAAAAYYYYYY Over exaggerated and she tended to stick quite close to him, either for protection, or my Australian Manliness was intimidating, it was probably none of that…. AnyHoooo She was very nice and I also told her that I liked her car. Hehehehehe………
The Sun Eventually went down and we moved into the Hall to squeak a takkie, I was casually standing by the bar minding my own business, when the song Leeuloop comes on. Cade comes running back from the DJ’s Booth with a fat smile on his face and says.
“Sorry buddy you have to do it. I had a bet with the DJ that if he played the song, someone here would do the dance….. Don’t let me down, here let me take your drink” 
He grabbed my beer out of my hand and pointed to area that I could use to remove my attire. Elsabe was in the background distracting Wonder Woman and Ryan was nudging his partner saying “Check this out LOL” 
It’s almost like this was planned……
Now I’m a lot of things, I may be introverted, I may even be a little obtuse and sometimes even gaudy, but I don’t think I have ever let my friends down. Beaten up yes, but never let my friends down.
With the speed of a stripper that’s got a huge tip waiting at the next table, I whipped off my kit and got on all fours.
After that it was easy. I just followed the words. I took my Balls and Squeezed them between my legs and reversed out onto the dance floor. Before I go on, I just want to place a disclaimer here….
It was cold…. Just saying….
The details are not too clear but from what I remember there was some PSSHHTTTTTT sounds of people spitting their drinks out, there was the quick intake of air from the astonished gasps of the little old ladies fighting for prime position and there was laughter, some sick people even took photos….. Really!! Who does that!! Who takes photos of a pale naked potbellied balding bloke crawling on all fours with his junk tucked in between his legs??.
(if you want a photo I can send you one😊)
When I had finally managed to put my clothes back on and massaged the feeling back into my knees, It was laughs all round and maybe some frowns from Wonder Woman.
We danced to Lisa’s se Klavier and I may have shed a little tear, being surrounded by the people that I love.
Again so many individual stories that I want to share but hey
…. Ok One last one….
We were back on the farm and it was time to go. Wonder Woman, Spiderpig ,Trenticles and Mel were on their way up to Haenertsburg and I was headed back to Aus.
I was using Lee’s Car and we all said our good byes.
Travelling down the dirt road I thought to myself that this car has some weird tyres on it. They seem to be picking up lots of stones. All I could hear was a cacophony of ting, ting, ting, klunk, Klunk…... Anyway I slowed down and it got better. I stopped to have a look and discovered the problem. The Belly pan (engine guard) had come loose in the front and was bouncing and scraping on the ground. The problem was this.
We were 30km from Cullinan top speed was 60km/h I had to stop every couple of km to clip it back in.
Sandra was there to offer moral support and worked as backup crew stating the obvious every time we stopped. Like “you are getting your clothes dirty”, “I think its broken properly”, “cant you just pull it off”… we stopped at the OTK in Cullinan and I bought a bag of cable ties (bless that inventor) and we (me under the car in my flight clothes and Sandra leaning over the bonnet giving advice) tried to fix it.
Eventually after 3 hours of stopping, fixing, rolling around on the dirty floor and getting sweaty, we managed to get back to Benoni.
It was time to spend some quality time with my folks again before it was time to go.
And THAT Ladies and Gents is the Summary of a Quick Visit to South Africa.
More time spent with each of you would have been fantastic.
Know that even if it was for a couple of hours it meant the world to me, there is a special place in my heart for you and for Africa. We are all back on the Island now and have returned to some normality. Until Next time
Zoy!!!!!!
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Offline Fudmucker

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #531 on: April 01, 2020, 10:12:39 pm »
Bozo, does your fan extract or blow in air?
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #532 on: April 02, 2020, 12:45:26 am »
Bozo, does your fan extract or blow in air?
Herooo Daaar.
Well this time the air is being blown in.
Why? Does it really matter?
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #533 on: April 02, 2020, 03:58:53 am »
Just Tasted the Biltong.  :drif: :drif: :drif: :drif:
With this one batch that I made, I have paid for the everything in one go.
The Average price if biltong is about $80/kg
My cost.
Plastic Box: $7
1kg Rump : $ 15
Spices etc: $ 3
Fan: $10
Nettng: $5
Rod: $ 5
Total Cost : $45

Net Weight of the biltong after drying is about 500g (guestimate)
All in all the next batch will be cheaper as its only the meat that needs to be bought...

BOOM mastered yet another Survival skill for when the zombie apocalypse hits  :imaposer:
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline DeeCeeBee

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #534 on: April 02, 2020, 05:09:01 am »
Hi Bozo,

I am really enjoying this thread immensely  ;D
I made the move to Tasmania just over 4 years ago and am in the process of applying for my Aussie citizenship.
Your humorous writing has been an absolute joy to read  :thumleft:

If you are ever over the ditch in Tas, I would really like to buy you a beer  ;D
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Offline Boersoeknbike

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #535 on: April 02, 2020, 10:51:18 am »
aparently it's better to extract air. But mine's made from sleeperwood so I was afraid of the tar smell, so  mine extracts, for 3 years works like charm.

Bozo, does your fan extract or blow in air?
Herooo Daaar.
Well this time the air is being blown in.
Why? Does it really matter?
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Offline ChrisL - DUSTRIDERS

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #536 on: April 02, 2020, 11:24:44 am »
The Average price if biltong is about $80/kg

BOZO how does Aussie made biltong that you buy taste? Also as crappy as the US made Beef Yerky?
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Offline TeeJay

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #537 on: April 02, 2020, 01:36:50 pm »
Is that shed your garage?  :eek7:
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Offline Ri

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #538 on: April 02, 2020, 07:16:20 pm »
Is that shed your garage?  :eek7:

Was also wondering... looks bigger than the house :eek:
 

Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #539 on: April 02, 2020, 10:40:43 pm »
Hi Bozo,

I am really enjoying this thread immensely  ;D
I made the move to Tasmania just over 4 years ago and am in the process of applying for my Aussie citizenship.
Your humorous writing has been an absolute joy to read  :thumleft:

If you are ever over the ditch in Tas, I would really like to buy you a beer  ;D

Howzit from the slightly warmer part of the southern tip of the island!!
Thanks for the compliment :thumleft:
I will definitely contact you when I come over there.
Please do the same if you ever have to come round to the big smoke!!!
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
1150 GS, 1200 GSA, 125 KX, WR450  (all sold) :(
XT660Z