Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register

Author Topic: Australia.... The Island Saga  (Read 40055 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Wooly Bugger

  • Forum Whore
  • ****
  • Bike: Buell Ulysses XB12
    Location: Asia Pacific
  • Posts: 9,140
  • Thanked: 293 times
  • DILLIGAF?
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #600 on: May 14, 2020, 10:14:39 am »
Great thread!
This is not life or death. It is an internet forum.
 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO

Offline Ri

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #601 on: May 14, 2020, 05:22:34 pm »
https://theoatmeal.com/comics/dogs_as_men



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

One of my all time favourite cartoonists. There is a hardcopy book of this comic.

Also of this one https://theoatmeal.com/misc/frame/cat_kill which spawned some hilarious photo's - just Google the title and check "images"
 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO

Offline BOZO

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: Yamaha XT 660 Z
    Location: Australia
  • Posts: 995
  • Thanked: 61 times
  • Eschew obfuscation
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #602 on: May 17, 2020, 02:08:44 am »
Last week we got some big news. That news, however, is at the end of this story. The important bit is that there is actual news, not just random crap from the git on the island.
I had to fly to Sydney for work, this is not the news, this is context, so you will know why I was at the airport and why I was in Sydney.
Not everyone is a fan of airports, aeroplanes and pilots. Iím generalizing I know, I have met like one pilot that I like, and I like to spend as little time as possible in both (airports and aeroplanes not pilots, never spent any time in a pilot (lol)).
ANNNYYYYHOOOOOO Itís Sunday afternoon, I have bordered the plane and Iím making my way down the aisle to my seat.
I look up and see that the flight attendant is talking in hushed tones to another lady passenger. The attendant hands the lady a pillow and a blanket (its 28 degrees outside) and they carry on with their secret conversationÖ
My, oh-my-god-here-comes-kak-o-meter, jumps into the red zone and I eye them suspiciously as I squeeze past into my seat with a silent prayer that she is not sitting next to me.
Every time an attendant is around this woman pulls a face like a 5 year old trying to get out of school.
AAANNDDDDD Guess what!!
AAAarrrgggghhhhh Shitsticks just my luck she is sitting next to me.
I slip on my comfortable donít even talk to me face and start to telepathically message the pilot to get this long metal gas guzzling tube of metal off the ground.
Eventually everyone is on the plane, we are waiting to close the doors, do a crotch check and taxi out onto the runway. All the while the flight attendants are back and forth with this woman whispering and fluffing pillows.
Luckily for you, I was sitting next to her so I can tell you what the conversations were about. She claimed to be feeling sick as soon as she got on the flight, apparently, she doesnít fly very often and she was feeling claustrophobic.
The flight attendants and I seem to have the same bullshit-o-meter, they just smiled sadly, nodded at the right intervals, even put a comforting hand on her and said that they were doing all they could.
Their eyes however were telling a completely different story. When they looked across at me I could see them thinking, ďsorry for you buddy you are stuck with this one for the full flightĒ.
By the third visit when they glanced at me all they saw was the whites of my eyes as I loudly sighed and rolled my eyes back as far as they could go.
They unfortunately have to follow procedure and notify somebody, that somebody says donít close the doors letís play the wait and see game.
This woman was pushing for an upgrade to business class. (OBVOUSLY) and they were not going to oblige. So we waited. The entire plane of 280 people waited for 15 minutes to see if this woman is going to have a claustrophobic attack. Eventually it looks like her bluff had been called and sheíd get to sit next to me for the next ninety minutes.  Lucky meÖ..
Every time I visit Sydney Iím more convinced that itís a shithole. And every time it does not disappoint.
I arrive at my hotel via taxi to find out that I have a reservation, just not that nightÖÖ. Its for a month later urgh. Luckily they have a room available for Sunday night but not for the next two nights.
Thatís ok, I book in for the night, at an astronomical price. Iím not that concerned besides I will find a different place the next day and itís pretty late and Iím hungry enough to eat the maggots out of a dead dogís arse.
I ask the receptionist whatís the choices for dinner. We started on a burger and chips, which was cancelled due to the late hour and the kitchen being closed, and then onto a burrito and salad which was, guess what, cancelled due to reasons previously mentioned. Eventually I tried a different approach, asked what was open, and ended up with an over priced Pizza which gave me heartburn.
So much for travelling on a Sunday night to avoid the early Monday morning chaos!! This story is not quite done fellow readers. I still had two nights to stay in this festering armpit of Australia.
Not having the luxury of a caring admin team I did a quick search for places to say in the area and took the first one I could find.
Lets cut the long story short. This hotel is placed on a main road, walls as thin as toilet paper, communal toilet and shower, noisy aircon and oh itís not serviced. The great part about this is that you get to sleep very little and you get to spend that time thinking about stuff. Which leads me to here.
Iím sitting in a corner cafť on a busy street, the working folk are wondering in and ordering the chefs special and a flat white, my view of the traffic is blocked by the silhouette of a lady doing the cross word in the window and my mind is transported to a movie scene. Itís a bit surreal, the movie scene is from Natural Born Killers when Mickey and Mallory lose their shit and kill everyone except for one person. 
With the moment gone Iím ripped back to reality and I start to wonder about the dinner I had last night. It was a Chicken Parma.
There are few things on the island that are memorable. Especially when it comes to food. I am so bored of my own cooking and you can only have so many coles pizzas before food becomes boring.
While I was eating this Chicken Parma yesterday I wondered how I would describe it. I suppose there is the literal cookbook description that would bore you into momentary depression.
And then there is the ďtake a picture with your mind and feast on thatĒ description.
Unfortunately for you I donít know how to do either, so Iíll just tell you from my point of view. When you cut into this heavenly piece of white meat and place it onto your tongue you are not just getting a taste of Australia.
To me the aussie parma represents the quintessential essence of the land though its construction and flavour. Itís a feast for the eyes, itís a big ass chicken breast that has been lovingly left in boiling oil, the 30 chickens and potatoes that have been there before really add to the flavour.
The size never disappoints as the edges of this crispy flattened chook hang over either side of the plate, the melted cheese keeps the bacon bits from rolling off on its way to your now watering masticating vestibule, heaven on a fork.
If you ever visit the island you have to have one of these, it doesnít matter where you go on the island they have them and Iím yet to have one that doesnít make me happy.
This may seem like a long explanation so If you need a shorter one try this, think of a Pizza with toppings of your choice. Then replace the pizza base (the bread) with a chicken Schnitzel, add chips and a side salad and there you have it.

Ok so time for the big news. After 1022 days we have finally been awarded Permanent Residency on the island. WHOOP WHOOP.
We made it. We have been through so much, learned so much as a family and as individuals. Who would have thought that in 1000 days we would be here? Having PR means more than just the piece of paper its printed on. Itís a future for my boys, itís the ability to be able to settle and to now start to think of this island as home. The more we think like that the easier it is to accept it and embrace it. 
Donít confuse this with owning a Renault.
If you have had one of these for a 1000+ days, it doesnít matter how you think about it and how you embrace it, it never gets easier.
And your ďfriendsĒ are tired of the stains you leave in the driveway.
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."ó Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
1150 GS, 1200 GSA, 125 KX, WR450  (all sold) :(
XT660Z
 
The following users thanked this post: Sardine

Offline Ri

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #603 on: May 17, 2020, 05:04:52 am »
:wav: BEEEEEEG congratulations on your Permanent Residency @BOZO ! :wav:

It's not just South Africa who loves your crazy humour  :imaposer:


Please don't stop writing
« Last Edit: May 17, 2020, 05:05:22 am by Ri »
 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO

Offline RrP

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #604 on: May 17, 2020, 08:14:48 am »
Shot on your PR , your journey has been an amusing one don't stop your
writing now .

Sent from my SM-N970F using Tapatalk

 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO

Offline Oubones

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW F650GS / Dakar
    Location: Kwazulu Natal
  • Posts: 3,427
  • Thanked: 589 times
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #605 on: May 17, 2020, 09:34:45 am »
Congrats and thanks for your entertaining stories.
Keep them coming. :sip:
Dakar 650
SR 500
 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO

Offline Herkules

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #606 on: May 17, 2020, 10:01:46 am »
 :sip: Congrats on the PR. You really make me worry, I had to go out an do a walk-around the wife's Renault in the driveway.  :3some: :spitcoffee:
 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO

Offline BOZO

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: Yamaha XT 660 Z
    Location: Australia
  • Posts: 995
  • Thanked: 61 times
  • Eschew obfuscation
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #607 on: May 18, 2020, 12:14:05 am »
 :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."ó Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
1150 GS, 1200 GSA, 125 KX, WR450  (all sold) :(
XT660Z
 

Offline BOZO

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: Yamaha XT 660 Z
    Location: Australia
  • Posts: 995
  • Thanked: 61 times
  • Eschew obfuscation
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #608 on: May 18, 2020, 12:23:42 am »
Thanks All,
It was a long ass hual getting to that point.
Once the pressure of getting PR is over the sun shines a little brighter. (in my mind anyway)

I'm thankful that you have taken the time to join me on this journey.
I will endeavor to continue to chronicle these pages with my random thoughts.
Zoy
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."ó Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
1150 GS, 1200 GSA, 125 KX, WR450  (all sold) :(
XT660Z
 

Offline Fudmucker

  • Forum Whore
  • ****
  • Bike: BMW R80GS
    Location: Gauteng
  • Posts: 7,817
  • Thanked: 527 times
  • Airheads are an admirable addiction
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #609 on: May 18, 2020, 01:41:24 am »
aparently it's better to extract air. But mine's made from sleeperwood so I was afraid of the tar smell, so  mine extracts, for 3 years works like charm.

Bozo, does your fan extract or blow in air?
Herooo Daaar.
Well this time the air is being blown in.
Why? Does it really matter?
A fan extracting air will stop flies getting IN.
That means your fan doesn't need a flyscreen and will work more effectively.
You can use a smaller fan size for similar air flow, or else increase the size of the inlet screen for better air flow.

Congrats on the PR.
I think the virus is going to change a lot of immigration plans across the globe.
Keep up the stories. 
I copy them from here to Word and paste them into columns so I can read them more easily. 
Life is far too short to be taken too seriously.
I am far too short to be taken too seriously.

I'm not deaf... I'm ignoring you.
 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO

Offline BOZO

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: Yamaha XT 660 Z
    Location: Australia
  • Posts: 995
  • Thanked: 61 times
  • Eschew obfuscation
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #610 on: May 18, 2020, 07:10:27 am »
After a few people have told me that I should publish this as a book I have been building it up.  ;)
All I need is an editor, spell checker, interpreter and probably a high ranking individual from the grammar police.
Then once that's done. I can print some hard copies and mail them off a Christmas presents.  LOL imagine!!!
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."ó Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
1150 GS, 1200 GSA, 125 KX, WR450  (all sold) :(
XT660Z
 

Offline BigEd

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: NER-A-CAR
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 2,040
  • Thanked: 72 times
  • Panorama, Cape Town
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #611 on: May 18, 2020, 08:02:09 am »
After a few people have told me that I should publish this as a book I have been building it up.  ;)
All I need is an editor, spell checker, interpreter and probably a high ranking individual from the grammar police.
Then once that's done. I can print some hard copies and mail them off a Christmas presents.  LOL imagine!!!

We have all of the above right here on WDs!  :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
81 XT500 (sold) 82 GPZ550 (sold)
04 XL650V Transalp (sold) 01 XL1000V Varadero (sold)
88 DR750s Dr Big (sold) 01 R1150GS BMW (sold)
84 XT600 Tenere 34L (sold)
?? Trek 6000 flippen martelpyp (current)
 

Offline jacbot

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #612 on: May 19, 2020, 08:44:45 pm »
No need for editors, spell checker, or grammar police. That detracts from your character and the whole reading experience.
1979 Honda CG125 (Sold)
1983 Honda XL600RE (Sold, what was I thinking)
2008 Aprilia Pegaso Trail (Sold)
2009 Kawasaki KLR650
1981 Yamaha XT 500 (Resto Project) 1981 Yamaha XT500 Resto-mod
 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO

Offline big oil

  • R&P No posting
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW R1150GS Adventure
    Location: USA
  • Posts: 3,938
  • Thanked: 353 times
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #613 on: May 21, 2020, 10:21:34 am »
Hey Bozo, ya filthy animal, hope all is well over Der in da Aussie land with yous and yours.

I gots to catch up on ur thread now.

Peace out.
Prepare yourself for four more years 😎
 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO

Offline BOZO

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: Yamaha XT 660 Z
    Location: Australia
  • Posts: 995
  • Thanked: 61 times
  • Eschew obfuscation
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #614 on: May 21, 2020, 11:50:51 pm »
Hey @big oil
We be going good here on the island.
Winter arrived in smellbourne like a light swtich. One day it was luke warm the next its cold enough to freeze the balls on a brass monkey!
I see that in maaaa-se-two-tits you be getting lots of the rain!! Seems the 'mericans cant cut a break!! my thoughts - albeit twisted and broken - are with you. :'(
PS eat high fat content food during this time of much water, it helps to insulate in cold water and serves as a handy carry on flotation tube. "fat is the new thin"  :thumleft:
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."ó Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
1150 GS, 1200 GSA, 125 KX, WR450  (all sold) :(
XT660Z
 
The following users thanked this post: big oil

Offline big oil

  • R&P No posting
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW R1150GS Adventure
    Location: USA
  • Posts: 3,938
  • Thanked: 353 times
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #615 on: May 22, 2020, 04:30:05 am »
Hey @big oil
We be going good here on the island.
Winter arrived in smellbourne like a light swtich. One day it was luke warm the next its cold enough to freeze the balls on a brass monkey!
I see that in maaaa-se-two-tits you be getting lots of the rain!! Seems the 'mericans cant cut a break!! my thoughts - albeit twisted and broken - are with you. :'(
PS eat high fat content food during this time of much water, it helps to insulate in cold water and serves as a handy carry on flotation tube. "fat is the new thin"  :thumleft:

freeze balls on a brass monkey  :imaposer:  we've similar colloquialisms... 'colder than a witches tit in a brass bra'

Yeah, there's a town not far north of me here in da Mitten that's under 9 feet of water.  There was a lake (Wixom Lake) that is now a beach.  :imaposer:  No joke, all the water in the lake is now gone after the dams broke.  Weirdest thing I've ever seen.  People's boats on their lifts above a mud pit.  :patch:

Glad to read yous are all well.  Stay safe bruthaman, u no dats right  O0
Prepare yourself for four more years 😎
 

Offline BigEd

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: NER-A-CAR
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 2,040
  • Thanked: 72 times
  • Panorama, Cape Town
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #616 on: May 22, 2020, 09:50:06 am »
What! No pics? Damn you BO, damn you..... :peepwall:
81 XT500 (sold) 82 GPZ550 (sold)
04 XL650V Transalp (sold) 01 XL1000V Varadero (sold)
88 DR750s Dr Big (sold) 01 R1150GS BMW (sold)
84 XT600 Tenere 34L (sold)
?? Trek 6000 flippen martelpyp (current)
 

Offline ChrisL - DUSTRIDERS

  • Forum Vendor
  • Castrated Dog
  • ******
  • Bike: BMW R1200GS
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 31,807
  • Thanked: 788 times
    • dustriders.co.za
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #617 on: May 22, 2020, 10:16:29 am »
What! No pics? Damn you BO, damn you..... :peepwall:
He said the dam broke!! ;) :lol8:
MOTORCYCLE ACCESSORIES RETAILER
info@dustriders.co.za
ENDURISTAN SOFTLUGGAGE IMPORTER
www.dustriders.co.za
 

Offline big oil

  • R&P No posting
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW R1150GS Adventure
    Location: USA
  • Posts: 3,938
  • Thanked: 353 times
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #618 on: May 22, 2020, 03:47:14 pm »
What! No pics? Damn you BO, damn you..... :peepwall:
He said the dam broke!! ;) :lol8:

I'll try to find ya some pics, BigEd, it's been declared a disaster areola.
Prepare yourself for four more years 😎
 

Offline Wooly Bugger

  • Forum Whore
  • ****
  • Bike: Buell Ulysses XB12
    Location: Asia Pacific
  • Posts: 9,140
  • Thanked: 293 times
  • DILLIGAF?
Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #619 on: May 27, 2020, 11:54:47 am »
Congrats!  :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft:
This is not life or death. It is an internet forum.
 
The following users thanked this post: BOZO