Last week we got some big news. That news, however, is at the end of this story. The important bit is that there is actual news, not just random crap from the git on the island.
I had to fly to Sydney for work, this is not the news, this is context, so you will know why I was at the airport and why I was in Sydney.
Not everyone is a fan of airports, aeroplanes and pilots. I’m generalizing I know, I have met like one pilot that I like, and I like to spend as little time as possible in both (airports and aeroplanes not pilots, never spent any time in a pilot (lol)).
ANNNYYYYHOOOOOO It’s Sunday afternoon, I have bordered the plane and I’m making my way down the aisle to my seat.
I look up and see that the flight attendant is talking in hushed tones to another lady passenger. The attendant hands the lady a pillow and a blanket (its 28 degrees outside) and they carry on with their secret conversation…
My, oh-my-god-here-comes-kak-o-meter, jumps into the red zone and I eye them suspiciously as I squeeze past into my seat with a silent prayer that she is not sitting next to me.
Every time an attendant is around this woman pulls a face like a 5 year old trying to get out of school.
AAANNDDDDD Guess what!!
AAAarrrgggghhhhh Shitsticks just my luck she is sitting next to me.
I slip on my comfortable don’t even talk to me face and start to telepathically message the pilot to get this long metal gas guzzling tube of metal off the ground.
Eventually everyone is on the plane, we are waiting to close the doors, do a crotch check and taxi out onto the runway. All the while the flight attendants are back and forth with this woman whispering and fluffing pillows.
Luckily for you, I was sitting next to her so I can tell you what the conversations were about. She claimed to be feeling sick as soon as she got on the flight, apparently, she doesn’t fly very often and she was feeling claustrophobic.
The flight attendants and I seem to have the same bullshit-o-meter, they just smiled sadly, nodded at the right intervals, even put a comforting hand on her and said that they were doing all they could.
Their eyes however were telling a completely different story. When they looked across at me I could see them thinking, “sorry for you buddy you are stuck with this one for the full flight”.
By the third visit when they glanced at me all they saw was the whites of my eyes as I loudly sighed and rolled my eyes back as far as they could go.
They unfortunately have to follow procedure and notify somebody, that somebody says don’t close the doors let’s play the wait and see game.
This woman was pushing for an upgrade to business class. (OBVOUSLY) and they were not going to oblige. So we waited. The entire plane of 280 people waited for 15 minutes to see if this woman is going to have a claustrophobic attack. Eventually it looks like her bluff had been called and she’d get to sit next to me for the next ninety minutes. Lucky me…..
Every time I visit Sydney I’m more convinced that it’s a shithole. And every time it does not disappoint.
I arrive at my hotel via taxi to find out that I have a reservation, just not that night……. Its for a month later urgh. Luckily they have a room available for Sunday night but not for the next two nights.
That’s ok, I book in for the night, at an astronomical price. I’m not that concerned besides I will find a different place the next day and it’s pretty late and I’m hungry enough to eat the maggots out of a dead dog’s arse.
I ask the receptionist what’s the choices for dinner. We started on a burger and chips, which was cancelled due to the late hour and the kitchen being closed, and then onto a burrito and salad which was, guess what, cancelled due to reasons previously mentioned. Eventually I tried a different approach, asked what was open, and ended up with an over priced Pizza which gave me heartburn.
So much for travelling on a Sunday night to avoid the early Monday morning chaos!! This story is not quite done fellow readers. I still had two nights to stay in this festering armpit of Australia.
Not having the luxury of a caring admin team I did a quick search for places to say in the area and took the first one I could find.
Lets cut the long story short. This hotel is placed on a main road, walls as thin as toilet paper, communal toilet and shower, noisy aircon and oh it’s not serviced. The great part about this is that you get to sleep very little and you get to spend that time thinking about stuff. Which leads me to here.
I’m sitting in a corner café on a busy street, the working folk are wondering in and ordering the chefs special and a flat white, my view of the traffic is blocked by the silhouette of a lady doing the cross word in the window and my mind is transported to a movie scene. It’s a bit surreal, the movie scene is from Natural Born Killers when Mickey and Mallory lose their shit and kill everyone except for one person.
With the moment gone I’m ripped back to reality and I start to wonder about the dinner I had last night. It was a Chicken Parma.
There are few things on the island that are memorable. Especially when it comes to food. I am so bored of my own cooking and you can only have so many coles pizzas before food becomes boring.
While I was eating this Chicken Parma yesterday I wondered how I would describe it. I suppose there is the literal cookbook description that would bore you into momentary depression.
And then there is the “take a picture with your mind and feast on that” description.
Unfortunately for you I don’t know how to do either, so I’ll just tell you from my point of view. When you cut into this heavenly piece of white meat and place it onto your tongue you are not just getting a taste of Australia.
To me the aussie parma represents the quintessential essence of the land though its construction and flavour. It’s a feast for the eyes, it’s a big ass chicken breast that has been lovingly left in boiling oil, the 30 chickens and potatoes that have been there before really add to the flavour.
The size never disappoints as the edges of this crispy flattened chook hang over either side of the plate, the melted cheese keeps the bacon bits from rolling off on its way to your now watering masticating vestibule, heaven on a fork.
If you ever visit the island you have to have one of these, it doesn’t matter where you go on the island they have them and I’m yet to have one that doesn’t make me happy.
This may seem like a long explanation so If you need a shorter one try this, think of a Pizza with toppings of your choice. Then replace the pizza base (the bread) with a chicken Schnitzel, add chips and a side salad and there you have it.
Ok so time for the big news. After 1022 days we have finally been awarded Permanent Residency on the island. WHOOP WHOOP.
We made it. We have been through so much, learned so much as a family and as individuals. Who would have thought that in 1000 days we would be here? Having PR means more than just the piece of paper its printed on. It’s a future for my boys, it’s the ability to be able to settle and to now start to think of this island as home. The more we think like that the easier it is to accept it and embrace it.
Don’t confuse this with owning a Renault.
If you have had one of these for a 1000+ days, it doesn’t matter how you think about it and how you embrace it, it never gets easier.
And your “friends” are tired of the stains you leave in the driveway.
Topic: Australia.... The Island Saga (Read 40055 times)
