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Author Topic: Australia.... The Island Saga  (Read 40137 times)

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Offline IanTheTooth

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #620 on: May 28, 2020, 06:26:20 am »
Thought this may appeal to you Bozo, from an AU motoring publication:

This scheme seeks to reduce fixed and ‘backroom’ costs. In part, this is already underway in Australia, where Nissan, Mitsubishi and Renault share parts warehousing and distribution.

At this time it is not clear whether Nissan or Mitsubishi will be the top dog Down Under. It certainly will not be Renault.
The dog that caught the car. What now?
 

Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #621 on: May 28, 2020, 06:47:41 am »
What! No pics? Damn you BO, damn you..... :peepwall:
He said the dam broke!! ;) :lol8:
dammit!!! :laughing4:
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #622 on: May 28, 2020, 07:01:07 am »
Thought this may appeal to you Bozo, from an AU motoring publication:

This scheme seeks to reduce fixed and ‘backroom’ costs. In part, this is already underway in Australia, where Nissan, Mitsubishi and Renault share parts warehousing and distribution.

At this time it is not clear whether Nissan or Mitsubishi will be the top dog Down Under. It certainly will not be Renault.

Ha Ha..
About a year before I left SA we had a friend that was in dire need of a car after some discussion wonder woman and i decided  we would sell her my citi golf at a massive discount.
I was looking at getting a small bakkie (ute) to transport my WR450 around and you know because they are cool. I Seriously looked at the NP200..
Just before I signed on the dotted line I had a look at the engine... low and behold what did I see. The oil cap was a RENAULT Oil cap.
I quickly put the pen back in my pocket and eventually bought one of those chevvys. What a lekker vvveeehacle. If we could buy a small bakkie here thats what I would buy again.
After further investigation and speaking to people that bought them (NP200) they all said it that it was the worst thing they could have done.
Shit shit shit....100k km and they are F$%#d

I quite like the Mitsubishi's as well as the Isuzu's. But they will have a loooooooong way to go to beat Toyota here on the island...

"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #623 on: May 28, 2020, 07:17:45 am »
This was 2019 just before Easter I think.

Near far near lookers are great once you get used to them. The problem is when you remove them you need to lean a little bit more on your remaining senses.
We (the human race) take our abilities for granted, we don’t think about how these abilities keep us alive and functioning.
For example, a superhero that has incredible strength and can therefore flippantly cross a busy street without looking in either direction. Especially if there is a RENAULT attempting to make its way down the road.
Or, how lazy a teenager lying in their room, immobile and completely deaf can make a short-lived miraculous recovery when you silently open a packet of chips or start talking about them.
In the end only the superhero knows why the chicken crossed the road and the teenager can return to a state of stupor glued to some YouTube crap without having a second thought of the world that they live in. 

With the aging process some of my senses have become lax and I have had to develop my other still functioning senses to compensate for my failing eyesight.
These senses sometimes work harder in combination with each other to make up for the broken one.
For example. Late at night when its dark and I can’t see anything I use my sense of touch to navigate my way around.
To avoid falling downstairs I make a sound like a bat using echo location techniques, a skill I learned many years ago when I was inducted into the “bushwackers”**.
Combining these two skills takes practice and sometimes when walking around in a dark room I encounter a piece of furniture, typically the corner of the coffee table, my sense of touch is consequently heightened to extreme levels, I then use the echo location noise of “FFUUUCCCKKKK” which helps me feel better.

**The “bushwakers” was a small group of pubescent school hostel hero wannabies that were unofficially lead by a ynami-ynami wearing, weight lifting, knife wielding Rambo Casanova.
In addition to Rambo we had a 12-foot-tall sun fearing bloodnut, a wire haired, three nipple’d sloth, a pot-bellied swimming brain from Zimbabwe and myself a dorky fighting fit lad weighing in at about 60kg.
We didn’t have a secret handshake or anything like that but people knew us and ignored us, well mostly me. We were ready for anything.
I like to believe that my earlier years of dedicated training as a cub scout earned me a strong albeit not-so-influential position in the wolfpack.
If that was not the case then it could have been having extra food to bribe them for their friendship. But more about them and those times in a later story.


During this last week I found myself submerged into this sensory deprivation tank. It was not really a tank per say and I wasn’t really submerged, but if you have a good imagination and have read more than a penny horrible I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this.
Every day during this particular week I have been entering this deprivation tank not knowing that it would change my life (ok it didn’t really but now I’m sure you are dying to know what happened).
I can’t wear my far near far lookers and I have to remove all of my clothes. There are two silver handles that I have learned to control for temperature and I twist them to the correct angles.
This is a time sensitive matter as the lekker temperature only lasts a short period of time. Once the handles are turned, touch, hearing, taste and smell are overpowered by tepid water rushing over my body, bringing confusion and pleasure to my senses all at the same time.
Once done in the tank I follow my normal routine of drying my largest organ (some parts are bulky, so I like to take extra care to get in between the folds if you know what I mean) I administer body spray to the hairy parts and finally comb what’s left of my hair.
During this week I felt that there was something wrong. It felt like there was thin film of oil left all over my skin…..so I had to rub extra hard to get it off.
I did not think much of it in the beginning and carried on with the rest of my busy life. By day three the film of oil had become difficult to wash off in the shower. And my hair although incredibly soft feels like it can leave an oil slick in the sea. Even my ball hairs have a softer feel to them.
I remember back in the day when we had money Wonder Woman used to buy “Dove” soap. She made me use that for almost a month before I begged her for a good old standard bar of sunlight, or if she wanted to spoil me the see through “breeze” type of soap. Once done with that real soap you were squeaky clean.
You don’t feel like you are covered in some palm oil, that was scraped off the back of a terrified sloth slowly escaping a Polynesian island in a tropical storm.

Armed with this knowledge of my past harrowing experience I double checked the soap to make sure it’s the cheap kind unashamedly stolen from the hotel that I last stayed in. All good on that front. But it didn’t solve my mystery it only created more questions.
Questions that needed answers…
This oily problem had now started to affect my life, I was struggling with simple tasks like using nail clippers that just kept slipping out of my grasp, opening a jar of mayonnaise or the biggest of all, keeping a firm grip on my beer.
There could be only one solution. Enter into the sensory deprivation tank with my far near far lookers on to see what’s happening.
So I did and you won’t believe what it was, Wonder Woman decided that she needed to change her shampoo and conditioner brand and unbeknownst to me the lid colours were swapped around.
I was using conditioner to wash my hair for the whole week. This explained the super soft ball hairs, the limp hairdoo and the oily film.
AWESOME I solved the mystery, I spent an extra 5 minutes that day in the shower removing the build-up of oily scum from my body.
One would think that this would bring this story to a conclusion but alas twas not to be.
After being nurtured for a week, with girly softness, imagined bath salts and balms it (my skin) became weak.
The result was once I had dried myself that my largest organ decided to dehydrate, shrink and crack in the folds causing pain in the areas you don’t want pain.
For two days I walked and grimaced like John Wayne!. There was only one solution, I had to retrain my body to be tough again!!!
Let this then be a warning to you real men out there. It takes time and dedication to become tough!! Having thick skin can be taken away in a week and you don’t want that.
Be a man!!! Suntan without suntan lotion, stand in the wind and drive with the window open, resist the urge to lick your lips......If I see bubble-gum flavoured lip-ice in your pocket we need to have a chat.......
I don’t want to speak out of term here but I have been known to separate frozen bread with my bare hands and I don’t want to lose that reputation!!!!
You know when one has problems as big as mine one has to wonder how one gets enough time to share this in such detail……


ANNNNNYYYYYWAAAAAAYYYYY  It’s a new week and there are new headlines to follow. For example. Today they are reporting on a bunch of vegans protesting all over the country.
They attempted to storm farms and block busy intersections. In the news footage these vegetable eating lunatics looked like the walking dead with their anaemic bodies stumbling all over the place.
One of them (yes them) tried to scale a fence but didn’t have the energy to lift himself/herself/them past the second wire. WHAHAHA
When the police arrived, they had to carry them away due to the protestors being exhausted from chanting and holding up balsa wood protest signs.
In other news. The police are looking for a man that was spotted performing a lewd sexual act on a dog in Bendigo. WTF!!! Really really!!!!
This is obviously one sick individual and there are lots of things to be said about this excuse for a human. When he was spotted (in a park I’m assuming) he ran away. 
My only conclusion is that he doesn’t drive a Landrover because if he was. Hy sal vas gesit het. Want net honde en landrovers sit vas. LOL….
Have a Great week. We are off to Tasmania soon on a bike trip so there should be some good stories coming from that.


Thanks for reading!!!
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline Karel84

Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #624 on: May 28, 2020, 08:19:01 am »
Hahaha, awesome stuff.
The protesting vegans just kill me! Reminds me of this guy

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Offline BigEd

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #625 on: May 28, 2020, 10:06:09 am »
hmm
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Offline jaybiker

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #626 on: May 28, 2020, 10:26:48 am »
 :spitcoffee: Can't beat a good laugh, or several, on a boring lockdown day!  :lol8:
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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #627 on: May 28, 2020, 10:27:19 am »
I quite like the Mitsubishi's as well as the Isuzu's. But they will have a loooooooong way to go to beat Toyota here on the island...

Mitsubishi number three in ute sales in Aus after Toyota and Ford Ranger. Very well priced too compared to the other two.
The 2.4 double cab Triton is 10 000 dollar cheaper than the 2.8 Toyota and I do not think the Mitsu is 10 000 less a ute than the Toy.

Weird they do not have a half tonner there?
« Last Edit: May 28, 2020, 11:21:44 am by ChrisL - DUSTRIDERS »
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Offline Wooly Bugger

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #628 on: May 28, 2020, 02:18:20 pm »
This is not life or death. It is an internet forum.
 

Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #629 on: May 28, 2020, 11:53:59 pm »
:spitcoffee: Can't beat a good laugh, or several, on a boring lockdown day!  :lol8:

 :thumleft: Glad you enjoyed it!!
 
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #630 on: May 29, 2020, 12:03:57 am »
I quite like the Mitsubishi's as well as the Isuzu's. But they will have a loooooooong way to go to beat Toyota here on the island...

Mitsubishi number three in ute sales in Aus after Toyota and Ford Ranger. Very well priced too compared to the other two.
The 2.4 double cab Triton is 10 000 dollar cheaper than the 2.8 Toyota and I do not think the Mitsu is 10 000 less a ute than the Toy.

Weird they do not have a half tonner there?

Yep the Triton is cheap as chips here and its very popular especially among the younger Tradies. Also as a company bakkie.
Dont be fooled by the price however. The entry level is a bare bones model. if you start matching spec for spec then the prices level out.
A more competitive market is the 4x4 SUV market especially in the midrange ute based suv like the fortuner and the Isuzu mux. I spent a good few months looking at those.
Eventually settled on buying something second hand.
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline Sardine

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #631 on: May 29, 2020, 06:18:55 am »
 :spitcoffee:

Offline big oil

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #632 on: May 29, 2020, 02:55:07 pm »

ANNNNNYYYYYWAAAAAAYYYYY  It’s a new week and there are new headlines to follow. For example. Today they are reporting on a bunch of vegans protesting all over the country.
They attempted to storm farms and block busy intersections. In the news footage these vegetable eating lunatics looked like the walking dead with their anaemic bodies stumbling all over the place.
One of them (yes them) tried to scale a fence but didn’t have the energy to lift himself/herself/them past the second wire. WHAHAHA
When the police arrived, they had to carry them away due to the protestors being exhausted from chanting and holding up balsa wood protest signs.
In other news. The police are looking for a man that was spotted performing a lewd sexual act on a dog in Bendigo. WTF!!! Really really!!!!
This is obviously one sick individual and there are lots of things to be said about this excuse for a human. When he was spotted (in a park I’m assuming) he ran away. 
My only conclusion is that he doesn’t drive a Landrover because if he was. Hy sal vas gesit het. Want net honde en landrovers sit vas. LOL….
Have a Great week. We are off to Tasmania soon on a bike trip so there should be some good stories coming from that.


Thanks for reading!!!

 :imaposer:  We don't have to stop for them anymore, we can lawfully hit them if they're trying to impede traffic  :imaposer:

Look over at your buddy and say, "hey Joey, I think he's gonna try to stop us"......... Joey, "I want to see that fucker legless.........THUD"  :imaposer:

Fuckem, anyone stupid enough to try and block traffic, deserves to be legless.
Prepare yourself for four more years 😎
 

Offline Fudmucker

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #633 on: May 29, 2020, 04:40:17 pm »
After a few people have told me that I should publish this as a book I have been building it up.  ;)
All I need is an editor, spell checker, interpreter and probably a high ranking individual from the grammar police.
Then once that's done. I can print some hard copies and mail them off a Christmas presents.  LOL imagine!!!
Life is far too short to be taken too seriously.
I am far too short to be taken too seriously.

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Offline roxenz

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #634 on: May 29, 2020, 05:47:09 pm »
...
 

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #635 on: May 29, 2020, 05:50:53 pm »
 We are off to Tasmania soon on a bike trip so there should be some good stories coming from that.

Hope you hook up with DeeCeeBee when there? :thumleft:
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Online DeeCeeBee

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #636 on: May 29, 2020, 11:22:01 pm »
Please look me up for sure.

I’d be more than happy to show you round a few good routes.

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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #637 on: June 01, 2020, 12:57:26 am »
Please look me up for sure.

I’d be more than happy to show you round a few good routes.

Darryn

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AHHHHH Mate, This letter was written last year just before Easter.
Trust Me the next time in Tazzie I will be sure to give you a call.
 :thumleft:

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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #638 on: June 01, 2020, 01:09:56 am »
@Fudmucker and @roxenz thanks for the word doc.
I already have a Doc with all of my letters once I have shared them all I will share the full "book"
Cheers.
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline Fudmucker

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #639 on: June 01, 2020, 04:59:10 am »
 :thumleft:
There are friends here who would gladly help you sub-edit as you hinted.
Life is far too short to be taken too seriously.
I am far too short to be taken too seriously.

I'm not deaf... I'm ignoring you.
 
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