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Offline ican

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #680 on: July 20, 2020, 08:53:08 pm »
Bozo’s Brilliant Bull.
In a world full of people, only some want to fly... Isn't that crazy?
 
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #681 on: July 22, 2020, 09:27:33 pm »
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline jaybiker

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #682 on: July 22, 2020, 10:33:37 pm »
 :patch: :lol8: :imaposer: :eek7: :lol8: :imaposer: :eek7: :lol8: :imaposer: :eek7: :lol8: :imaposer:
 :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #683 on: July 22, 2020, 10:42:11 pm »
Bozo’s Brilliant Bull.
Ha Ha Thanks, I will now add it to the ever growing list of....... wait for it.... 2.  :biggrin: :biggrin: ;D
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline BigEd

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #684 on: July 23, 2020, 08:36:51 am »
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Offline Sam

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #685 on: July 23, 2020, 10:09:09 am »
'kin hell that is hilarious!! How on earth did you stumble on that?
 

Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #686 on: July 27, 2020, 07:18:07 am »
'kin hell that is hilarious!! How on earth did you stumble on that?
Something Facebooook suggested. :biggrin:
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #687 on: July 31, 2020, 05:30:41 am »
Its been a heeeeeeektic few weeks with us islanders being unceremoniously re-inserted into lockdown.
To be honest its worse the second time round. The first time you don’t know what to expect, but you know that there is no way around it and you just grit your teeth, close your eyes take it.
The second time is like being repeatedly summoned back to a clumsy thick fingered proctologist, because, “the results were inconclusive”.
Apparently, this is normal, but I think mine is withholding something from me, and, while I’m on the matter, is it normal for the appointments to be held in low light setting after the staff have gone home? (points to ponder one day.)  :-\
Like I said Covid has pretty much screwed everyone over (except for spiderpig) and we are not alone.
Wonder Woman is jobless, Trenticles turns 18 and can’t have a party, I have to smoke rollies (I look like I’m smoking pot) while Spiderpig carries on blissfully in his room, watching henti or some other kak.  :o

AAAANNNNNNNYYYYYYWAAAY. There was the odd job or two that needed to be done around the house and I placed (even though you read placed, understand that it was subtle suggestion and encouragement) Wonder Woman on a single garden improvement project.
I assumed that as soon as my machiavellian plan was put into action all would be right in the world and I could resort to drinking beer in peace.
Initially this unfolded quite well as it kept her mind off the old job and occupied her with things to achieve. (she worked for a cemetery, so it was a dead-end job anyway). She would learn new skills and I got to concentrate on work.
Before I continue I think I need to add some context, not that you need it, but I feel that it would make for a better understanding of how we arrived at this point. ;)

Some time ago Skinny Giant and Bones gave us a “semi-permanent” gazebo that they were taking down.
Trenticles and I had put it up in the back garden but then winter arrived in Melbourne like a surprise running fuck slap, added to that Covid decided to fuck over the rest of 2020 and all plans of socializing, backyard braais and informal parties were given a status of TBD (to be determined).
I had priced getting the floor of the Gazebo area cemented in and after two anal haemorrhaging quotes of $1100 and $2300 we decided that we should look at another plan. This new plan, brought on by the lack of desire to be corn holed by “9 inch bath plug Babba” in a dark back alley, included self-provided labour to dig out the grass below the gazebo in blocks and place them in strategic positions in the rest of the garden…
Easy enough ne’ well yes, but, you need to understand that we struggle to grow anything, the fact that we managed to grow two kids up to this point, is, well, basically it’s a miracle.  :biggrin:
Between myself, Wonder Woman and Trenticles the 4.5 by 3.5-meter area was cleared out and we had large chunks of grass filling holes in the garden that we didn’t even know we had.
All of this was done by hand as we don’t own a wheelbarrow. That was early covid days. Fast-forward about a month and I had laid some spare bricks into the now bare area, so that it “looked” neater, well, it didn’t. 

Ok so now you got the idea? There is a half-done gazebo in the garden that’s an eyesore. Which doesn’t work for the OCD people that live in our tinshack. :pot:
Skinny-Giant and Bones on the other hand were making awesome progress with their garden as it was being transformed from a small cool garden to a “garden & homes” award winning garden.
Skinny-giant’s creative flair and manual labour combined with Bones’s drive (whip) to have a completed garden made our effort and results look like my marks the first six times I wrote accounts 101 in varsity (trust me I didn’t write it six times because I enjoyed the subject).
After consulting the inter-web, you tube and the People from the Mountain, we (Wonder Woman), had a plan to get this area paved with as little cost as possible.
Wonder Woman ordered two Cubic meters of crushed stone for the base (my calculations), we borrowed a wheelbarrow and I purchased some wooden boards for the border at an affordable $5 each.
Our initial outlay in total was approx. $250 and the project was kicked off.

Ever heard of the 5 P’s “Proper planning prevents poor performance”.
Or how about scope creep?
I can manage a biased angry wrestling sharks supporter away from a TV when their team is losing (had lots of practice) I can even talk my way out of a Poesklap in broken Afrikaans but I had no control of the events that transpired on this “simple, little project”

Firstly, 2 Cubic meters of crushed stone was about 1.5 Cubic’s more than what we needed.  :-\
Secondly counting the bricks that we had vs the amount needed was off by about 600 and filling a wheelbarrow with stone at the ripe old age of 44 is a lot harder than you would think.
Wonder Woman painted the planks green, dug the holes and planted them in as borders, she then carted about 1 metric tonne of stones filled, flattened and tamped down the area.
The next step was to pave with the bricks, which she did, which only covered about a 1/3 of the area. Hmm, Now what…
Buying bricks was out of the question, at an average cost of $1.10 a recycled brick. Midnight spares from the construction site next door was a strong contender but their bricks were the wrong size and apparently this kind of shopping is not allowed…
Lucky for us the island has rubbish dumps that they discourage you from using by charging exorbitant prices to dump pretty much anything. What the inhabitants do here to overcome this problem is to advertise their shit on Facebook marketplace. So instead of lying in bed on a Sunday morning we spent 2 hours cruising the hood for 100 bricks, which is cool, but we were still 400 odd bricks short.
And this, dear reader, is where a small project became a series of additional “small” projects.
The pathway that ran along the side of the house, which was in semi-perfect condition, only 5 or 6 bricks needed to be lifted and “reset” was irritating Wonder Woman anyway (OCD MUCH?), had enough bricks so that got used. Which lead to the start of the next Project.

Project 2: Make a garden bed in the open area left from the now non-existing pathway.  That’s not so bad I just pop Back to Bunnings to get more planks. Which will need to be painted etc etc. Oh! we will need some soil to fill that up so we will just take some from the garden bed under the tree. Which means that we now have a place to put the extra stone.

Project 3: Use up the remaining Crushed stone. This means clear out the area under the tree and move the stone under there so it looks good, update the garden bed edge so it matches the rest of the garden… Shit!!! Back to Bunnings to get more planks. We now have a gap…

Project 4: Fill the gap between the now new garden bed and the Gazebo… “Hey a deck would be nice, you know like Skinny Giant and Bones have, We can use the pallets to make it. We just need to make it look neat in the front”. That’s right, you fucken guessed it…back to Effing Bunnings to get more planks. I spend the next Saturday dismantling pallet chairs, pulling out all the nails, there is a shitload of nails in a pallet by the way, cut the wood to the correct size and build a deck.
Whilst giving ourselves a virtual pat on the back for a job well done it was suggested that…

Project 5: We need a fire pit = more bricks. Which led to….

Project 6: “That area doesn’t look need so I’m going to repave that, which will incidentally give us the correct amount bricks we need for project 5”. oh no… guess what… Back to Bunnings to buy, wait for it… More planks…
And possibly,

Project 7. “We need to paint the garden walls”…

As the self-appointed project manager I can report to you the following: projects 1 through 7 are complete,
Wonder Woman has delivered on these projects under trying conditions at best. With the intermittent Melbourne weather and carefully administered nightly doses of wine combined with pain killers for her back and knees.
However, I think that the greatest hardship has been, for both of us, what was once her soft and supple hands are now scarred and calloused to a point where she can’t pick up a woolly blanket for fear of become attached to it like Velcro.
All this time Spiderpig has not risked a single glance out of his technology encrusted cesspit to see what all the fuss is about.
Never, even once, did it cross his teenage bird brain that he should offer help. With greater things to loose than our no pants Monday ritual, I put my hand up and put in my fair share but it’s was dismal compared to her achievement.
Should you be looking for a stolid “do it al”l handy woman, that works hard but tends to make a quick job into something that makes the great wall of china look trivial, I know one.
Don’t be concerned however this one comes with newly acquired skills and at present unlimited spare time.  :pot:
I have attached some before and after photos so we can oooh and ahh over her work.
Try not to be too persnickety when reviewing the photos 😊
« Last Edit: August 03, 2020, 06:58:58 am by BOZO »
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #688 on: July 31, 2020, 05:33:18 am »
In closing I felt it only wise to share this depiction of how I see my goals.


One can only hope that for now we are done… but..

“And as the Buddha said: "Hope is merely another face of desire. And desire is a motherfucker”
The Stupidest Angel
Moore, Christopher

Until next time, look after yourselves!
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #689 on: July 31, 2020, 05:35:57 am »
Just putting this out there.......

Me: will you bring me a screwdriver
Her: flathead, phillips or vodka?
It was then I knew she was the one
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #690 on: August 03, 2020, 08:03:12 am »
I had a chance to help out a guy I have met a few times over the last 4 years on the island.
We have never really chatted but we knew of each other.
You know that friend of a friend scenario.

He had the opportunity to buy an old BMW 650 GS that had been standing in his friends garage for the last 2 years.
I think he managed to get it at a bargain price of $1500, which is not bad seeing as the average price for a bike like that here is about $4000.
He contacted me and asked if i could help him get it started. As he was not sure how or where to start.  :eek7:
I'm not a mechanic but I know enough to be dangerous  ;D :eek7:
We started with removing the battery, hoping that it was not kaput, (it was), sprayed all the bolts with WD40 to soak.
Our plan for the day was to change the oil, oil filter and to drain and refuel the tank.
If we could get the bike to start then we could see if it was worth while to continue.

The Petrol tank was completely dry so we just flushed that out.
The bike has crash bars on it so it was a bit of a mission to remove the sump plug, I was prepared for about 2 liters of oil to drain but we only got about 100ml.
So I suppose its a good thing the battery was flat. As he said he would have taken it for a ride without checking the oil.
After adding about a 900ml of oil we connected the jumper leads and cranked the motor over a few times and added some more oil.
After checking that all the correct bolts were back in place tightened correctly we fired that puppy up and she idled quite happly.

I had to leave after that as we received news that we were entering LEVEL 4 lock down .
He still has some work to do but essentially he bought a bargain and is dead keen for us to go on our first Ride.
I'm super stoked as we got on really well and I think we will get on great. only 6 weeks to wait now.. urgh
« Last Edit: August 03, 2020, 10:36:56 pm by BOZO »
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline Crankshaft

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #691 on: August 03, 2020, 08:16:47 am »
I had a chance to help out a guy I have met a few times over the last 4 years on the island.
We have never really chatted but we knew of each other.
You know that friend of a friend scenario.

He had the opportunity to buy an old BMW 650 GS that had been standing in his friends garage for the last 2 years.
I think he managed to get it at a bargain price of $1500, which is not bad seeing as the average price for a bike like that here is about $4000.
He contacted me and asked if i could help him get it started. As he was not sure how or where to start.  :eek7:
I'm not a mechanic but I know enough to be dangerous  ;D :eek7:
We started with removing the battery, hoping that it was not kaput, (it was), sprayed all the bolts with WD40 to soak.
Our plan for the day was to change the oil, oil filter and to drain and refuel the tank.
If we could get the bike to start then we could see if it was worth while to continue.

The Petrol tank was completely dry so we just flushed that out.
The bike has crash bars on it so it was a bit of a mission to remove the sump plug, I was prepared for about 2 liters of oil to drain but we only got about 100ml.
So I suppose its a good thing the battery was flat. As he said he would have taken it for a ride wiht out checking the oil.
After adding about a 900ml of oil we connected the jumper leads and cranked the motor over a few times and added some more oil.
After checking that all the correct bolts were back in place tightened correctly we fired that puppy up and she idled quite happly.

I had to leave after that as we recieved news that we were entering LEVEL 4 lock down .
He still has some work to do but essentaly he bought a bargan and is dead keen for us to go on our first Ride.
Im super stoked as we got on really well and i think we will get great. only 6 weeks to waint now.. urgh

Lekker lekker,  die laaaang wag is die k@kste deel van alles om weer te kan ry :pot:
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Offline KiLRoy

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #692 on: August 03, 2020, 09:13:01 am »
Bozo, try and dip your cookie twice.

Your writing reminds me of Bill Bryson’s

Some of his books were a compilation of short regulars he did for newspapers and magazines. Imo his best writings..

 
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Offline Sam

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #693 on: August 03, 2020, 10:05:43 am »
I had a chance to help out a guy I have met a few times over the last 4 years on the island.
We have never really chatted but we knew of each other.
You know that friend of a friend scenario.

He had the opportunity to buy an old BMW 650 GS that had been standing in his friends garage for the last 2 years.
I think he managed to get it at a bargain price of $1500, which is not bad seeing as the average price for a bike like that here is about $4000.
He contacted me and asked if i could help him get it started. As he was not sure how or where to start.  :eek7:
I'm not a mechanic but I know enough to be dangerous  ;D :eek7:
We started with removing the battery, hoping that it was not kaput, (it was), sprayed all the bolts with WD40 to soak.
Our plan for the day was to change the oil, oil filter and to drain and refuel the tank.
If we could get the bike to start then we could see if it was worth while to continue.

The Petrol tank was completely dry so we just flushed that out.
The bike has crash bars on it so it was a bit of a mission to remove the sump plug, I was prepared for about 2 liters of oil to drain but we only got about 100ml.
So I suppose its a good thing the battery was flat. As he said he would have taken it for a ride wiht out checking the oil.
After adding about a 900ml of oil we connected the jumper leads and cranked the motor over a few times and added some more oil.
After checking that all the correct bolts were back in place tightened correctly we fired that puppy up and she idled quite happly.

I had to leave after that as we recieved news that we were entering LEVEL 4 lock down .
He still has some work to do but essentaly he bought a bargan and is dead keen for us to go on our first Ride.
Im super stoked as we got on really well and i think we will get great. only 6 weeks to waint now.. urgh

Apparently quite an art to getting the oil level right on those bikes - it's a dry sump. The model specific threads here should have some pointers.....
 

Offline ChrisL - DUSTRIDERS

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #694 on: August 03, 2020, 04:43:37 pm »
The bike has crash bars on it so it was a bit of a mission to remove the sump plug, I was prepared for about 2 liters of oil to drain but we only got about 100ml.

BOZO stoppie lorrie!!!! :o
The rest of the 2.1 litres of oil is in the oil tank under the left side cover!!!! Keep on sidestand take cover off and remove nut at bottom of the tank. Use small funnel and 2 litre plastic bottle.
By adding 900 ml's of oil you have now overfilled the bike.

OK all depending if that 650 is a 2000 and newer model and not a old Funduro.
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #695 on: August 03, 2020, 10:34:19 pm »
Bozo, try and dip your cookie twice.

Your writing reminds me of Bill Bryson’s

Some of his books were a compilation of short regulars he did for newspapers and magazines. Imo his best writings..
Thanks Kilroy, Much Appreciated.
I will read some of his stuff, who knows, it may inspire me!

 :thumleft:
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #696 on: August 03, 2020, 10:49:26 pm »
The bike has crash bars on it so it was a bit of a mission to remove the sump plug, I was prepared for about 2 liters of oil to drain but we only got about 100ml.

BOZO stoppie lorrie!!!! :o
The rest of the 2.1 litres of oil is in the oil tank under the left side cover!!!! Keep on sidestand take cover off and remove nut at bottom of the tank. Use small funnel and 2 litre plastic bottle.
By adding 900 ml's of oil you have now overfilled the bike.

OK all depending if that 650 is a 2000 and newer model and not a old Funduro.


Thanks I forgot to mention that I followed this guys instructions.
http://www.weatherimagery.com/blog/changing-oil-bmw-650-gs/
When I removed the bolt on the tank it was dry.
It was also pretty dry when we changed the oil filter.
After putting in the oil and cranking the engine over the little window that shows the oil was at about half.
Below is a picture of the bike (in bits) and the total amount of oil drained.  :o
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline ChrisL - DUSTRIDERS

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #697 on: August 03, 2020, 10:54:06 pm »
OK looks like a 2000 model Dakar. :thumleft:
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Offline BOZO

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #698 on: August 03, 2020, 11:00:40 pm »
OK looks like a 2000 model Dakar. :thumleft:
PHEW!!! :thumleft:
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)
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Offline big oil

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Re: Australia.... The Island Saga
« Reply #699 on: August 04, 2020, 04:24:43 am »
Back in ought 9, when my ought 9 R1200GSA was in the shop for one of its issues  :xxbah:, I was provided with an ought 9 650GS.

Although I looked like a circus bear on a mountain bike riding it, what a delightful little bike to ride.

Good on ya fur helping a brutha out, Bozo, I'm down widdit, you no dats right!
Prepare yourself for four more years 😎
 
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