OK to continute on from the Toowoomba story.
Fast forward a few days, happiness duly delivered to clients, and I’m back in the Nanny State of Victoria, people are still walking around in masks like there is some sort of pandemic going on all over the world.
I spent some time, 5 minutes max, formulating my strategy to pitch the value of vitamin D and cheaper house prices to Wonder Woman.
The tools I had decided to employ were:
• Cunningly delivered hints dropped over the course of a few days,
• a relatively good $5 bottle of wine decanted into an empty corked bottle I had been saving for an occasion just like this, and, most importantly
• a shitty weather day.
Well I didn’t have to wait long before the grey clouds descended and an icy breeze blew gently enough to chill us to the bone.
Pouncing on the opportunity, like a fat kid eating sweets at a birthday party, I deftly removed Wonder Woman’s Jersey from the deep freeze, poured a generous amount of wine into one of her fishbowl sized glasses, and handed them over.
Obviously she was quite glad to have her jersey back as her teeth were chattering and the added bonus of a glass of “fancy” wine was enough to put me in a good light.
“So, Its prey cold hey.” I eased into my elevator pitch. “Not quite sure if you remember our conversation from yesterday when I was taking about the weather up north”
“Yes Love. How could I possibly forget? You have mentioned it like 40 times already” she responded with a slight eye roll.
Hmmm, had I possibly delivered too many hints to quickly? I thought to myself while surreptitiously closing the laptop with the 45 page power point containing photos of houses, opens spaces, a short statistical analysis of how sunshine can increase happiness and just for kicks, a quote from the removal company.
Problem is now that I had opened Pandora's box there was no way back. I might as well go big bang and just put it out there I pontificated.
Using my best sentence construction technique I blurted out
“Oh! Ya, Well, So, I was thinking that we should move up north, I can work remotely now and they need me there, and, you know, its nice.”
Shit that was not how it was supposed to go.
There was a moments silence, not long enough to hear crickets, but long enough to be noticeable...
She eyeballed me over the rim of her rapidly draining wine fishbowl, she took a larger than necessary sip and slowly, ever so slowly, retuned it to its place on the counter.
It was blatantly clear to me now that she had been expecting this conversation.
*slowly reopens the laptop hoping that the situation is not completely lost*“My Darling, I think that that’s a great idea, but, its only really an option in three years’ time when Spiderpig finishes school” was her prepared response.
In psychology the first thing they teach you about delivering bad news is to use the sandwich technique, say something nice, deliver the bad news, close off the news with something nice.
So its good bad good. Get it?
Perceptibly Wonder Woman is still working on this as she forgot the last bit, or she is using the open sandwich method where you have to add your own good at the end.
I had a feeling that this was probably going to be the answer but, being an eternally hopeful person I only heard the first part. Which was
“great idea” and
“yes”.
WWOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOO see you later Melbourne you cold-covid-kak-stained-clustered-yuppie-coffee-drinking-shithole !!!!!!!.
Hello sunshine, warm weather, open places, cheaper living costs and did I mention sunshine and warm weather?
Now if I can convince spiderpig to quit school I can accelerate the time table… (insert evil cackle here)
While work on that plan I thought I’d better share some additional news.
BRB....
Topic: Australia.... The Island Saga (Read 47748 times)
