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Author Topic: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters  (Read 19040 times)

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Offline CycleC

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #100 on: November 26, 2019, 12:57:13 pm »
 :bueller:
 

Offline I&horse

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Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #101 on: November 26, 2019, 01:06:59 pm »
.
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Offline Fudmucker

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Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #102 on: December 02, 2019, 05:58:31 am »
The Royal Family Christmas sing-along this year...?
Life is far too short to be taken too seriously.
I am far too short to be taken too seriously.

I'm not deaf... I'm ignoring you.
 

Offline OomD

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Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #103 on: December 02, 2019, 06:39:48 am »
 :laughing4: :imaposer:

Now I've got that song stuck in my head.  :P ;D
« Last Edit: December 02, 2019, 06:40:40 am by OomD »
 

Offline Fudmucker

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Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #104 on: December 02, 2019, 07:10:06 am »
Many so-called nursery rhymes were intended as a political satire against historical events.
Commoners working as nannies and child minders for privileged parents put scathing words to rhymes and taught them to the kids,
who would then sing them at inappropriate occasions within earshot of socially connected people.

The Duke of York marching 10 000 men up to the top of the hill and marching them down again was about the War of the Roses, if I remember correctly.
Life is far too short to be taken too seriously.
I am far too short to be taken too seriously.

I'm not deaf... I'm ignoring you.
 

Online Welsh

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Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #105 on: December 02, 2019, 07:14:10 am »
Many so-called nursery rhymes were intended as a political satire against historical events.
Commoners working as nannies and child minders for privileged parents put scathing words to rhymes and taught them to the kids,
who would then sing them at inappropriate occasions within earshot of socially connected people.

The Duke of York marching 10 000 men up to the top of the hill and marching them down again was about the War of the Roses, if I remember correctly.

Ring a Ring of Roses, is a description of the symptoms of the Bubonic Plague. :sip:

 
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Offline Gérrard

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Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #106 on: December 02, 2019, 10:38:45 am »
:bueller:

 :lol8: Was painstakingly building a 1/4 scale model plane once. Two eldest were about 7 and 8 years old playing at the other end of the workbench. I dropped a 12V battery(used for jigging) through the turtle, deck smashing it. They looked at each other, at me, and my son said 'RUN' They knew what was coming  :lol8:
...dis nooit te laat om n happy childhood te he nie !

Build a sidecar they said. It will be fun they said. Ja-nee !
 

Offline fixit

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #107 on: December 02, 2019, 10:58:36 am »
:bueller:

 :lol8: Was painstakingly building a 1/4 scale model plane once. Two eldest were about 7 and 8 years old playing at the other end of the workbench. I dropped a 12V battery(used for jigging) through the turtle, deck smashing it. They looked at each other, at me, and my son said 'RUN' They knew what was coming  :lol8:

 :laughing4:.. I generally don't get angry with things, but I do curse the people who made them...
Happiness is not getting what you want, but appreciating  what you already have.
 

Offline Bie

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Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #108 on: December 02, 2019, 07:29:53 pm »
Smirk..
Kom ons maak 'n stoffie.
 

Offline windswept

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #109 on: December 02, 2019, 10:04:49 pm »
 :ricky:
 

Offline Sláinte Mhaith

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #110 on: December 02, 2019, 10:20:55 pm »
.
 

Offline Fudmucker

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Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #111 on: December 03, 2019, 08:11:08 am »
SPOILER ALERT...!
Life is far too short to be taken too seriously.
I am far too short to be taken too seriously.

I'm not deaf... I'm ignoring you.
 

Offline JFE

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #112 on: December 03, 2019, 08:37:05 am »
.





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Offline dual

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #113 on: January 12, 2020, 10:22:12 pm »
MEN ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE
This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.
 
Men Are Just Happier People! What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - R10,000. Tux rental - R300.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is R39.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache... You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes... No wonder men are happier!
 
NICKNAME. If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and Seán go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wild man.
 
EATING OUT. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Seán will each throw in R100, even though it's only for R182.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
 
MONEY. A man will pay R20 for a R10 item he needs. A woman will pay R10 for a R20 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
 
BATHROOMS. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
 
ARGUMENTS. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
FUTURE. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
MARRIAGE. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
 
DRESSING UP. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
NATURAL. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
 
OFFSPRING. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 
So, send this to the women who have a sense of humour, and to the men who will enjoy reading it
 

Offline Matewis

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Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #114 on: January 13, 2020, 07:43:09 am »
SUB
“Don’t go where the path my lead…  Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail…” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Offline JFE

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #115 on: February 03, 2020, 12:27:11 pm »
Corona laughs





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Offline JFE

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #116 on: February 03, 2020, 12:27:38 pm »
.



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Offline fixit

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #117 on: February 17, 2020, 07:44:53 am »
 :biggrin:

Happiness is not getting what you want, but appreciating  what you already have.
 

Offline fixit

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #118 on: February 20, 2020, 08:30:01 am »
So yesterday 8 plain clothes cops storm into our factory and grab one of our drivers. All walking with sidearms with safety flaps unclipped.
They dragged him off and were gone in flash.
The stories started doing their rounds almost immediately, from murder suspect to using our trucks to steal water pumps and car batteries.
The morning he is back at work, so I ask him what the hell happened?
Tells me he bought a cell phone from a swap shop that was apparently stolen and they tracked it to him.
Anyway they nailed the shopkeeper and let my driver go. I don't know wheather to laugh or cry? :o

Happiness is not getting what you want, but appreciating  what you already have.
 

Offline SwampDonkey

Re: Funny quotes, memes and laughable matters
« Reply #119 on: June 17, 2020, 08:05:38 pm »
So yesterday 8 plain clothes cops storm into our factory and grab one of our drivers. All walking with sidearms with safety flaps unclipped.
They dragged him off and were gone in flash.
The stories started doing their rounds almost immediately, from murder suspect to using our trucks to steal water pumps and car batteries.
The morning he is back at work, so I ask him what the hell happened?
Tells me he bought a cell phone from a swap shop that was apparently stolen and they tracked it to him.
Anyway they nailed the shopkeeper and let my driver go. I don't know wheather to laugh or cry? :o

8 cops for a stolen cell phone???  :eek7: :eek7: :lol8:
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