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Author Topic: Over 60  (Read 449 times)

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Offline nemodakar

Over 60
« on: February 07, 2020, 09:07:53 am »
I was standing in the pub one night, minding my own business.
This quite hefty, very plain looking woman came up behind me, grabbed my arse and said, "You are very cute. Do you have a phone number?"
I said, "Yes, do you have a pen?"
She said, "Yes, Iíve got a pen".
I said, "Then you better get back into it before the farmer misses you."

Cost me 6 stitches...but,

When you're over sixty.............who cares?

**

I went to the chemist and told the girl behind the counter, "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady assistant: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
I said "No... She's pretty good looking....."

When you're over sixty.............who cares?

***

I was talking to a young woman in the pub last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there, instead of you."

Cost me a fat lip, but...

When you're over sixty..............who cares?

**

I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born, just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... Try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."
It cost me a kick in the nuts, but....

When you're over sixty...............who cares?

*

I got caught taking a piss in the swimming pool today.

The attendant shouted at me so loudly, through a loud hailer - I nearly fell in.

When you're over sixty...............who cares?

**

I went to our pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The woman giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me 6 more stitches, but...

When you're over sixty..............who cares?
 
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Offline Dustbiter

Re: Over 60
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2020, 09:18:41 am »
Those are excellent, thanks  :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:
Bikeless at present
Previously: 1973 Honda SS50 - Port Elizabeth
                  1979 BMW R65 - East London
                   1996 BMW R1100GS - Grahamstown
 

Offline dirtyXT

Re: Over 60
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2020, 09:44:10 am »
 :imaposer: sharp! thanks
Bike history:
Ital jet 50 - sold, DT 50 - scrapped - AR80 - sold DT185 - confiscated  KDX250 - sold ZZR400 - sold KX500 - XT660R Swapped for R1 YZF R1 - sold - XT660Z - sold

 

Offline 0012

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Re: Over 60
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2020, 10:21:09 am »
 :spitcoffee:   :imaposer:
->    TransAlp 650 - sold
:(    Yamaha XT1200Z - written off - R.I.P.
 

Offline DUSTRIDERS

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Re: Over 60
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2020, 10:23:01 am »
 :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4: :lol8: :lol8: :lol8: :imaposer: :imaposer: :imaposer: :spitcoffee: :spitcoffee:
« Last Edit: February 07, 2020, 10:23:26 am by ChrisL - DUSTRIDERS »
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Offline jaybiker

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Re: Over 60
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2020, 11:19:48 am »
'Strue though. "No more fucks to give"  :3some:
Succumb not to the erosion of those born of unconsecrated union.

"Two Wheels, an engine and a place to sit." What more do you need?

2021 a milestone. 60 years a biker.
 

Offline capeklr

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Re: Over 60
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2020, 11:26:03 am »
 :imaposer:  :imaposer: :imaposer:
 :thumleft:
 

Online Odd Dog

Re: Over 60
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2020, 04:49:27 pm »
 :thumleft: :laughing4: :imaposer:
If You're going through hell, keep going.