No discussion on another country’s government can be complete without a proper amount of conspiracy theories, and in this issue on Autralo Farcefrica I would like to debunk one or two of them.
The first is that the ruling party decided, weeks and weeks ago, that they did not want to have to deal with all the troubles of the nation anymore, and therefore decided to lock the nation in the cupboard. Or, to be more precise, to lock the nation in their own homes.
There is no truth to this, you hear? Nothing. Forget about it.
The second is that, having failed at the above strategy, and also realizing that their tax money was quickly starting to run out and Johnny Walker Blue is expensive and they don’t actually have any work so they need that tax moollas, they came up with a different agenda.
This was the get rid of ALL the people, then search their homes for apple cider. According to the theory, which I have to once again point is completely untrue, the method they were going to use was to kill all the people.
The method was thus. One part of government would tell the people to cough into the crook of their arms. (The elbow, that would be).
Another part of government would tell people to not greet by hand, because that spread covid-19, but rather by touching - you guessed it, elbows, thereby spreading the disease as far and wide as possible.
However, having quickly realized that this would erode their tax-base to almost nothing, and with the Masked Hat still adamant that the general population was not allowed booze, and that there might thus not be a lot of booze in the people’s houses, they have had to come up with a third, alternative plan.
This, as I have previously pointed out, is completely untrue.
The plan was easy: Get rid of the rich so that they could grab their money, because everybody knows that the rich, those sneaky fuckers, don’t pay tax. Also, they had to get rid of the poor, because they didn’t have money to pay tax. But, and this was very important, the middle class, those law abiding tax payers that were not a pain in the arse like the rich and the poor, had to stay intact.
The plan which they came up with, no wait, which they didn’t come up with, or which they might have come up with but it turned out to be only a conspiracy theory, was brilliant.
They realized they had to confine Covid-19 to the homes of only the bastardly rich and the criminally poor. Having realized this, they drank some more Pynappel Bier and thought of a particularly clever plan, and the very next day, while still leker babelaas, they put their plan into action.
It was thus announced that yes, domestic workers would be allowed to return to work, but only if taken to work by private transport. Now, we all know that only the stinking rich can afford to drive their Eve’s to and from Soshanguve to Waterkloof, or between Tembisa and Waterfall estate. And so on and so forth. Thus, the spread of the disease would stay between ultra rich and ultra poor, and the middle class would have just enough money left to pay taxes and brew pynapple bier.
Just remember that there is absolutely no truth in the above theories. Government said so. In any case, you live in South Africa, not Australo Farcefrica, so you have nothing to worry about.
Lucky you.
Topic: State of the nation in Australo Farcefrica (Read 732 times)