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Online neil-ph

Scotland
« on: May 31, 2020, 04:07:01 pm »
SCOTLAND
 
In the beginning the Lord God Almighty, sitting on his throne on high, turned to his mate, the Archangel Gabriel, and said:
 
“Gabby, today I am going to create Scotland. I will make a country of dark beautiful mountains, purple glens and rich green forests. I will give it clear, swift flowing rivers and I will fill them with salmon.”
 
“The land shall be lush and fertile, on which the people shall grow barley to distil into an amber nectar that will be much sought after the world over. Underneath the land I shall lay rich seams of coal.”
 
“In the waters around the shores there will be an abundance of fish and beneath the sea bed there will be vast deposits of oil and gas.”
 
“Excuse me sire,” interrupted the Angel Gabriel, “Don’t you think you are being a bit generous to these Scots?”
 
“Shite no...” replied the Lord, “wait till you see the fuckin’ neighbours Im going to give them!!!.”       
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All men die, but not all men live......
 

Offline Cracker

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Re: Scotland
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2020, 04:12:48 pm »
Twat ......................... I like you  :laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:
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Offline Gypsybaron

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Re: Scotland
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2020, 08:50:00 pm »
And then, as a reward for being patient with their neighbours, I will allow them to take long leisurely walks, looking for what is commonly referred to as "that fecking gholf ball"
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Offline jaybiker

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Re: Scotland
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2020, 11:33:52 pm »
"......and I'll make them wear skirts with no underwear in a freezing climate, and handbags round their waists, and I'll give them music that sounds like a choir of Wookies in a communal shower, and I'll make them speak a kind of Gaelic that the Irish can't understand and English that nobody can understand. And if they bitch about that I'll give them independence. "   ;)
Succumb not to the erosion of those born of unconsecrated union.

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