It’s 5am. I’m wide awake. I can’t sleep any longer. It’s our last day in remote Namibia.
The trip has been incredible so far. We're ridden rocks, riverbeds, sand dunes - everything I could hope for.
Perhaps more meaningful for me is that I’ve bonded with my two new friends.
I’m feeling a cocktail of emotions as I lay there contemplating the day - everything from excitement to sadness.
The thought of riding through the Desolation Valley again gets me excited, but I’m anxious about riding without Jan Lucas and Marc.
I’ve crossed 18 countries on a mototcycle alone, so it’s not riding alone that worries me - it’s the wildlife that inhabits my route today. I, for one, do not want to end up as lion food or under the paw of an elephant... and as unlikely as those scenarios are, they are a real risk out here.
But, the call to adventure is stronger than my Amygdala's fear response, so I get out of bed secretly hoping that Jan Lucas or Marc have changed their minds.
Jan Lucas gets up shortly after me and it becomes clear that he hasn't changed his mind.
To be completely honest, I feel sad that the two people I had imagined would have my back – whose back I feel responsible for having - have sort of abandoned me. The team I thought that we were seems not to be the team we are in reality.
The thought that keeps looping around in my head is that both Jan Lucas and Marc are physically capable of completing today’s route, they just decided that they were too tired to.
I mean, we’re at the finish line. This is the last day of the trip!
Fuck being tired. But that's just me.
I make peace with their choice and shake off my kak feelings, prepare some coffee, get dressed, pack the bike, give the guys a hug goodbye and hit the road.
It’s 6:30am as I pull out of Palmwag Lodge. The air is chilled and there’s not a breath of wind so the dust from the car that passed a few minutes ago is still lingering in the air creating a kind of eerie feeling.