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Author Topic: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.  (Read 35833 times)

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Offline Stofdonkie

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #100 on: March 12, 2009, 07:33:59 am »
Did you at least have a looksee for crocs?
Carpe BM.
 

Offline Frohan Visser

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #101 on: March 12, 2009, 08:13:19 am »
This RR can go straight to the Roll of Honour section!!!!!!!!!!!!

MJ, what Canon are u using???? There is some really excellent photo's.

Just by the way, how the hell can one sit behind a computer and try to work now after reading this..........????

Lekker...lekker....I'm waiting ..........................
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Offline eSKaPe

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #102 on: March 12, 2009, 09:51:17 am »
Geez brilliant RR - started off briliant and just gets better and better.. keep it coming
 

Offline JackShit

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #103 on: March 12, 2009, 03:40:30 pm »
MJ, can we please have your report in PDF format (like the Angola trip) when finished? Stunning report. Congrats!
 

Offline Mark Hardy

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #104 on: March 12, 2009, 06:01:11 pm »
You guys are an inspiration to all adventure riders


 :notworthy: :notworthy:
 

Online Kamanya

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #105 on: March 12, 2009, 06:53:51 pm »
Quote
Ok, letís have it with the hairy jokes. Give it your best shot.



Bet you have a fear of velcro?

Like me, I see you were also born with dry cleaning instructions.


So far a FF rating.


Foken Fabulous
I wonder where that road goes? And that, has usually made all the difference. Appologies to Mr Frost

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Offline Mark Hardy

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #106 on: March 12, 2009, 07:04:10 pm »
 :laughing4: :laughing4:
 

Offline TheAnt

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #107 on: March 13, 2009, 01:05:58 pm »
NEXT NEXT NEXT!!!! Please pretty please!!!  :thumleft:
 

Offline Ama ride ride

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #108 on: March 13, 2009, 01:22:28 pm »
Quote
Ok, letís have it with the hairy jokes. Give it your best shot.



Bet you have a fear of velcro?

Like me, I see you were also born with dry cleaning instructions.


So far a FF rating.


Foken Fabulous

MJ

Did you wax around your man boobs? :laughing4:
Gewoontlik n@@i ek reguit aan op fyndraai.

 

Offline Maverick

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #109 on: March 13, 2009, 05:59:01 pm »
Simply awesome MJ, thanks for sharing  :thumleft:
Maverick Disclaimer: This thread is intended for the use of the individual(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this thread is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
 

Offline X Banana Boy

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #110 on: March 13, 2009, 08:00:36 pm »
Awesome keep it coming.
 

Ganjora

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #111 on: March 14, 2009, 04:04:50 am »
an epic adventure,  like this,  like all of yours,  must take a lot of time.   do you work???   

brilliant read,  as uaual.   thanks.
 

Offline LanceSA

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #112 on: March 14, 2009, 02:44:00 pm »
What a great ride report. Thank you for sharing.
I am very keen to hear what you think of the 800 gs and how they performed. I know how capable Nardus is but personally think the 990 is a bit too heavy for the rest of us mere mortals for a trip like this. What do you think.
It's a friggin' motorcycle, it's not supposed to be comfortable, quiet or safe. The windnoise is supposed to hurt your ears, the seat should be hard and riding it should make you scared every now and then. Suck it up. -- Scary Gary Mc
 

Offline Nardus

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #113 on: March 16, 2009, 08:01:53 am »
Hi Lance

The 950, in my opinion, is still the best dual purpose bike on the market. The 950 with the luggage and a 40 liter fuel tank is rather heavy, but will be similar to the 990 with extra weight. It still handles great and can negotiate fairly rough terrain. The 800gs is definately the best bmw to date for adventure travelling. A close competitor for the 950. The only real advantage of the 800gs is the much better fuel consumption. As for the rest - not bad for a glorified road bike !  >:D
Let the snake slide and the lizzard slither and LET IT BE !
 

Offline SGB

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #114 on: March 16, 2009, 01:57:16 pm »
Another great story with a difference by the king of adventure riding and his army.  Entertaining as always - thanks MJ and friends.  You sure know what DS riding should look like!  Looking forward to the rest and wish you lots more, as long as you do the RR's!
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Do not believe everything you think....
 

Offline surf

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #115 on: March 16, 2009, 03:20:41 pm »
WOW
"Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them..."
 

Offline LanceSA

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #116 on: March 16, 2009, 07:50:28 pm »
Hi Lance

The 950, in my opinion, is still the best dual purpose bike on the market. The 950 with the luggage and a 40 liter fuel tank is rather heavy, but will be similar to the 990 with extra weight. It still handles great and can negotiate fairly rough terrain. The 800gs is definately the best bmw to date for adventure travelling. A close competitor for the 950. The only real advantage of the 800gs is the much better fuel consumption. As for the rest - not bad for a glorified road bike !  >:D

 :laughing4:  :laughing4:  :laughing4:
It's a friggin' motorcycle, it's not supposed to be comfortable, quiet or safe. The windnoise is supposed to hurt your ears, the seat should be hard and riding it should make you scared every now and then. Suck it up. -- Scary Gary Mc
 

Offline funacide

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #117 on: March 17, 2009, 12:24:31 am »
Awesome report as usual guys, thanks. now please finish it.........
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Offline Metaljockey

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #118 on: March 17, 2009, 03:13:15 am »
The next morning it is a quick wash and stock up on drinking water, before we head out.




And right away the dust brings these tstetse bastards swarming.




This time I get a handle on them though. It appears that their top speed is about 40km/h, go at 45km/h and you loose them. I get some enjoyment picturing them going apeshit in the dust and finding nothing.




We go through riverbed after riverbed, all leading into the Lugenda.




Flotation like this is just a thing of beauty.




We stop for some playtime.








Today our plans change. We did some calculations and figured out that there is no way we can make it, time wise, on our originally planned route. We wanted to stick to the Lugenda to where it flows into the Rovuma and then head to the coast. 

We can still make it but there is no way weíll get back to Malawi in time. So we turn away from the river and start heading south. Again our GPSís have nothing to show, but where you see a string of villages all in a line, you know there must be a track. As soon as we head away from the river, we  hit some exceptionally lekker roads. Just really good riding.




We donít get many opportunities to cool off, so we use them.




When we get to the control gate for Hunting area B we cause some consternation. The guards are not used to people wanting to get out. Sort of difficult to refuse though. By the way, like the sign says, if you want to hunt in this area, look for Kambako Safaris. From all reports they are pretty good.




The first village we find, we stop for the obligatory warm beer. And again we get swamped like you wonít believe. Iím starting to know what it feels like to be Paris Hilton.




I manage to sneak away to watch the circus from afar.




Our navigation turns out to be quite easy as there is only one road to follow and it finally deposits us in Montepuez. Civilisation, fuel station, restaurant, that kind of thing.

Coming from Pembaís side, maybe more like the end of civilization, because here the road to Lichinga turns rural.

This kind of rural.






Except for mud, this has to be the shittiest stuff to ride. Under that red sea of bull dust lies the cemented remains of the last wet seasonís tracks , criss crossing each other and you just have no idea whatís going on down there. Of course having a sprained ankle, it is inevitable that I go down on that side and get that foot caught under the bike. Instead of wriggling and screaming like a girl I just lie there blowing little dust puffs until a local pulls the bike off me. Rather take my chances in the bush.




We ride through a town I never knew existed, called Balama.

Iím leading so the police are just too slow off their behinds and I get through. All the others are pulled into the cop shop. The same shit again, who is your leader, what is your mission?
A couple of kmís out of town I pull up as I donít see my mates. I decide to wait. A severely drunk chap on a small bike pulls up, the police wants me back in town. When I try to start the bike the battery blows up. Same exact problem as in Angola. Lovely.

I show the guy my bike is caput, he offers to give me a lift. I politely say fuck off. I make myself comfortable against a tree.

Meanwhile back in Balama things arenít going too well, every bike has to be unpacked and searched. Searched to the level of throwing open bedding, matrasses, foodstuffs, tools etc. One cop eyes Nardusís hand pump with swivel head suspiciously, Nardus explains itís a pipe, you smoke it. The cop sucks the one end tentatively and looks satisfied with the answer. Finally, about an hour later, they are let off.

The lesson : if you are wanting to smuggle contraband through Balama, donít get a white man, dressed like a power ranger, standing on a 950 with two bellowing Akrapovics, to be your mule. He might look like he is trying to slip through unseen, but these cops are sharp. They will get him.

When they finally find me under the tree, I give them the good news about my bike. I learned some things in Angola though, so this time I have both a multimeter as well as a set of jumper cables.

We put some kiloís between ourselves and Balama before the sun sets.

The area is pretty populous and it takes some time to find a place to sleep.




Brian snaps trees with pure body weight.




We covered a lot of ground today and the bikes have been working pretty hard. 




One last thought before we go to bed, if you see this stuff somewhere. Stay the hell away from it.






« Last Edit: March 17, 2009, 03:23:17 am by Metaljockey »
 

Offline Ektoknbike

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Re: Niassa, Chucky Norris and John the Baptist.
« Reply #119 on: March 17, 2009, 03:57:11 am »

 :drif: :drif: :drif: :drif:

Eendag as ek groot is.

As die hoender in jou vasvlieg moet sy vere waai, maar dis darm ook nou nie nodig om in die hoenderhok in te klim nie.