E
Extreme Velcro
Guest
Mark and I decided that, because I am feeling comfortable sitting on the back of the bike, that we needed to attempt to take the whole couples thing off road - well, off the tar and onto the sand at least - we did stick to what you could potentially call a road.
All booked for Easter Sunday which arrived, bringing a lovely clear hot late summer's day. After first listening to my Compilation Album "Innocent Blood" in it's entirety for the first time (YES - I am now officially a record producer), started pulling on all the clothing necessary to make this as safe as possible. A good two hours later, we felt that I was ready (only joking, but sometimes it just feels like that and I still don't have quite all the gear).
Adrenalin pumping, little bit nervous, put on helmet then gloves and got on (note to self: when nervous, do not tighten helmet strap to the nth degree so that after two minutes on the bike, not even out the driveway, you can't understand why you are breathless with fear - it's just that you have tightened to strap so much that if you had an Adam's apple it would be sticking out the back of your neck).
Ok, on to the tar, and into the Easter Sunday traffic down Blaauwberg Road (listen this is all simple stuff to you lot - it still TERRIFIES me when we go in between cars at robots). I would really also like to know why dogs in cars all of a sudden hate me.... I do so much for you little horrors, I DO NOT appreciate being barked at so loud that I just about shit myself. It's just a hlemt and although I realise it's not a great look for doggy vision, give me a break here!
On to the long and winding road of the West Coast - this is easy stuff. Cagers are being great, we are being polite, I am trying to wave and smile at other riders, but ek is nog BAIE slow. By the time the KTM has flown past and the rider in the other direction has flown off, I haven't even yet registered, let alone been able to say hi, so sorry all around. I wasn't being rude, just need to practise (aitsa, I can see lots of complaints on the forum in the next couple of weeks about this red Honda in Cape Town that is a snob, as I desperately try to pry my white knuckles off the handlebars in time to throw a wave and a smile).
After roaring past the world, we suddenly swung into a corner and were faced by.....
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As my adrenalin did a spike, :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: Mark decided this was a good time to discuss with me that I need to concentrate a bit more on not headbutting him all the time. (JEEZ, you okes really know when its a good time to criticise a chick; for future reference and general info, NOT when she is nervy and hyped as it gets ugly very quickly). After a bit of a spit and a spat and then some serious giggling, I promised to be more careful and concentrate more and off we rode.
HA, first second on the bloody dirt and the front wheel does a slip and a slide - AAARRRRGGGH, how did my heart get into my throat and how the hell do I get it back where it belongs? I am now clutching Mark's jacket with my right hand like a drowning non-swimmer to a lifeboat and I swear that the white knuckles on my left hand holding on to some bar at the back of the bike are shining right through my gloves. Although I am wearing a vest underneath my jacket, I know that there are sweat patches and that you can see them on my SKIN.
Mark is riding slowly (I don't think through choice, I think that the desperate clutching is of some concern to him), but we said we would go until I screamed stop and I haven't yet (note to gynae: did you know that ovaries can vibrate? Well, I can prove it....because they were vibrating - note to self: good call on the sports bra this morning - note to dentist: there is definitely a loose filling top left rear whatever and I don't CARE what the X-ray says).
Mark is speeding up and the vibrations are losing their effect (I heard some blather about the shocks and suspension, blah blah blah, don't care). AAARRRGGHHH, another one of those little slip and slides and adrenalin spike (should I cry, should I.....naah, the body is going with the white knuckles, the clutching and the sweat). Mark shouts: "look at the mongoose" as the lovely little blighter runs across the road - don't care, don't give a shit, why is the little f*cker in the road - hate all little animals right now; as far as I am concerned, stuff the animal rights, it's you or me, you little shit, stay on your side of the road......
Have not yet yelled STOP, so no stopping and I will freely admit here that it is not because I didn't want to but because I couldn't - sorry Mark, wish I were as brave as you thought
CORNER AHEAD - nee a, not a chance, ok, Mark is going very wide and hey, you now what, this is not so bad. Hey, look, the scenery is pretty good and hey, that little slip and slide was a bit of a giggle and hey, guess what, I think this could be fun - WHOA, who put that stone there and why and when I get my hands on them and OUCH, that was my butt and hey, oh look, cute furry little beast and SORRY, didn't mean to headbutt you, not my fault and hey, wave and smile at the nice people and PHEW, that's dirty, you silly car, throwing up dust clouds like and hey, I think I'm actually having fun - whee ha I wanna do the bump again and yes, do the pothole, do the pothole - WHOOPs , nearly left the bike there, but hey, look tar ahead, tar head and shit, is that it?
Although, I did feel that the following was needed.....
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Mark, rolling around on the ground laughing at me is not conducive to a good sex life, I hope you are aware of that and once again, choose your moments, my man, choose your moments !!!!!!!
Anway, a little cool down period was needed and off we went to Brig's for breakfast.
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Lovely people, lovely breakfast (I do so appreciate the effort made by all of these little places when they hear we are veggie - we get such special treatment). Heard all about the Darling soapbox Derby that was held in March (hey guys, I think its worth entering a Wild Dogs soapbox next year). I got to see all the pics and the one that was really entertaining was the 95 year old man who entered in a soapbox that looked like a coffin. May I have his sense of humour at his age......
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I know it isn't a great pic, but needed to show what the Brig's soapbox looked like as they won various awards for it and the manageress was so proud of it all. Also, got a good look at the head of the dog that the the restaurant was named after - in plaster and in real life and you know, there ain't that much difference in size. That is one dog I would NOT argue with :shock:
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After an incredible breakfast, we decided to buy some of the local produce and while I was looking, Mark decided to take a sneaky shot of me doing the shopping rapper style....
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It didn't take us long to agree that the Naartjie Liqueur and the Malawi Gold (the spices, not the substance for those of you who went a bit awry there) were the things to buy.
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We even caught a glimpse of Uiltjie - didn't know you were in Darling on Sunday?
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The ride home was the straight pad on the West Coast - tar all the way, which led Mark to becoming frisky and putting his hand where it isn't supposed to be. After much headbutting, some kidney punching and a bit of a fracas on the bike, his hand went firmly back to where it belonged, thank you. What's with you guys? (note to self: no more aguing on the bike, it's iffy and DON'T EVER LOOK at the speedometer - you DON'T WANT TO KNOW). Last weird thing, Mark suddenly starting getting all puffy as he and his jacket blew up to Michelin man size which had me in stitches - Mar's note to self, close jacket zip properly otherwise you could take off. One last trick on me, namely bending forward so that I got the full impact of the buffeting and one more kidney punch and we decided that after a great morning, we need to do some posing, so off to Doodles.
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To much acclaim, bowing and scraping....
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This chick even spun out completely when she saw the KTM....
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After one or two beers and some great company and a re-hash of the day. One or two nips of the naartjieliqueur - and I mean tiny, that stuff tastes great, but one gets the message quite quickly that it is lethal
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We headed for home, leaving the seagulls impressed and the mountain still standing...
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Some minor irresponsible behaviour notwithstanding for which we take full responsibility, I had a GREAT day and am so looking forward to the next time.
Sorry about the quality of some of the pics, this was all my day including the taking of the pics and I am not that good at it yet and note to all pillion riders: there has to be a better form of cmmunication than head butts, handwaving and kidney punches - please do advise.
All booked for Easter Sunday which arrived, bringing a lovely clear hot late summer's day. After first listening to my Compilation Album "Innocent Blood" in it's entirety for the first time (YES - I am now officially a record producer), started pulling on all the clothing necessary to make this as safe as possible. A good two hours later, we felt that I was ready (only joking, but sometimes it just feels like that and I still don't have quite all the gear).
Adrenalin pumping, little bit nervous, put on helmet then gloves and got on (note to self: when nervous, do not tighten helmet strap to the nth degree so that after two minutes on the bike, not even out the driveway, you can't understand why you are breathless with fear - it's just that you have tightened to strap so much that if you had an Adam's apple it would be sticking out the back of your neck).
Ok, on to the tar, and into the Easter Sunday traffic down Blaauwberg Road (listen this is all simple stuff to you lot - it still TERRIFIES me when we go in between cars at robots). I would really also like to know why dogs in cars all of a sudden hate me.... I do so much for you little horrors, I DO NOT appreciate being barked at so loud that I just about shit myself. It's just a hlemt and although I realise it's not a great look for doggy vision, give me a break here!
On to the long and winding road of the West Coast - this is easy stuff. Cagers are being great, we are being polite, I am trying to wave and smile at other riders, but ek is nog BAIE slow. By the time the KTM has flown past and the rider in the other direction has flown off, I haven't even yet registered, let alone been able to say hi, so sorry all around. I wasn't being rude, just need to practise (aitsa, I can see lots of complaints on the forum in the next couple of weeks about this red Honda in Cape Town that is a snob, as I desperately try to pry my white knuckles off the handlebars in time to throw a wave and a smile).
After roaring past the world, we suddenly swung into a corner and were faced by.....
As my adrenalin did a spike, :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: Mark decided this was a good time to discuss with me that I need to concentrate a bit more on not headbutting him all the time. (JEEZ, you okes really know when its a good time to criticise a chick; for future reference and general info, NOT when she is nervy and hyped as it gets ugly very quickly). After a bit of a spit and a spat and then some serious giggling, I promised to be more careful and concentrate more and off we rode.
HA, first second on the bloody dirt and the front wheel does a slip and a slide - AAARRRRGGGH, how did my heart get into my throat and how the hell do I get it back where it belongs? I am now clutching Mark's jacket with my right hand like a drowning non-swimmer to a lifeboat and I swear that the white knuckles on my left hand holding on to some bar at the back of the bike are shining right through my gloves. Although I am wearing a vest underneath my jacket, I know that there are sweat patches and that you can see them on my SKIN.
Mark is riding slowly (I don't think through choice, I think that the desperate clutching is of some concern to him), but we said we would go until I screamed stop and I haven't yet (note to gynae: did you know that ovaries can vibrate? Well, I can prove it....because they were vibrating - note to self: good call on the sports bra this morning - note to dentist: there is definitely a loose filling top left rear whatever and I don't CARE what the X-ray says).
Mark is speeding up and the vibrations are losing their effect (I heard some blather about the shocks and suspension, blah blah blah, don't care). AAARRRGGHHH, another one of those little slip and slides and adrenalin spike (should I cry, should I.....naah, the body is going with the white knuckles, the clutching and the sweat). Mark shouts: "look at the mongoose" as the lovely little blighter runs across the road - don't care, don't give a shit, why is the little f*cker in the road - hate all little animals right now; as far as I am concerned, stuff the animal rights, it's you or me, you little shit, stay on your side of the road......
Have not yet yelled STOP, so no stopping and I will freely admit here that it is not because I didn't want to but because I couldn't - sorry Mark, wish I were as brave as you thought
CORNER AHEAD - nee a, not a chance, ok, Mark is going very wide and hey, you now what, this is not so bad. Hey, look, the scenery is pretty good and hey, that little slip and slide was a bit of a giggle and hey, guess what, I think this could be fun - WHOA, who put that stone there and why and when I get my hands on them and OUCH, that was my butt and hey, oh look, cute furry little beast and SORRY, didn't mean to headbutt you, not my fault and hey, wave and smile at the nice people and PHEW, that's dirty, you silly car, throwing up dust clouds like and hey, I think I'm actually having fun - whee ha I wanna do the bump again and yes, do the pothole, do the pothole - WHOOPs , nearly left the bike there, but hey, look tar ahead, tar head and shit, is that it?
Although, I did feel that the following was needed.....
Mark, rolling around on the ground laughing at me is not conducive to a good sex life, I hope you are aware of that and once again, choose your moments, my man, choose your moments !!!!!!!
Anway, a little cool down period was needed and off we went to Brig's for breakfast.
Lovely people, lovely breakfast (I do so appreciate the effort made by all of these little places when they hear we are veggie
- we get such special treatment). Heard all about the Darling soapbox Derby that was held in March (hey guys, I think its worth entering a Wild Dogs soapbox next year). I got to see all the pics and the one that was really entertaining was the 95 year old man who entered in a soapbox that looked like a coffin. May I have his sense of humour at his age......
I know it isn't a great pic, but needed to show what the Brig's soapbox looked like as they won various awards for it and the manageress was so proud of it all. Also, got a good look at the head of the dog that the the restaurant was named after - in plaster and in real life and you know, there ain't that much difference in size. That is one dog I would NOT argue with :shock:
After an incredible breakfast, we decided to buy some of the local produce and while I was looking, Mark decided to take a sneaky shot of me doing the shopping rapper style....
It didn't take us long to agree that the Naartjie Liqueur and the Malawi Gold (the spices, not the substance for those of you who went a bit awry there) were the things to buy.
We even caught a glimpse of Uiltjie - didn't know you were in Darling on Sunday?
The ride home was the straight pad on the West Coast - tar all the way, which led Mark to becoming frisky and putting his hand where it isn't supposed to be. After much headbutting, some kidney punching and a bit of a fracas on the bike, his hand went firmly back to where it belonged, thank you. What's with you guys? (note to self: no more aguing on the bike, it's iffy and DON'T EVER LOOK at the speedometer - you DON'T WANT TO KNOW). Last weird thing, Mark suddenly starting getting all puffy as he and his jacket blew up to Michelin man size which had me in stitches - Mar's note to self, close jacket zip properly otherwise you could take off. One last trick on me, namely bending forward so that I got the full impact of the buffeting and one more kidney punch and we decided that after a great morning, we need to do some posing, so off to Doodles.
To much acclaim, bowing and scraping....
This chick even spun out completely when she saw the KTM....
After one or two beers and some great company and a re-hash of the day. One or two nips of the naartjieliqueur - and I mean tiny, that stuff tastes great, but one gets the message quite quickly that it is lethal
We headed for home, leaving the seagulls impressed and the mountain still standing...
Some minor irresponsible behaviour notwithstanding for which we take full responsibility, I had a GREAT day and am so looking forward to the next time.
Sorry about the quality of some of the pics, this was all my day including the taking of the pics and I am not that good at it yet and note to all pillion riders: there has to be a better form of cmmunication than head butts, handwaving and kidney punches - please do advise.
