Twiggy
Pack Dog
So team Red, which is a riding group of 4 guys and one girl, Set off on a slightly overcast friday morning on our way for a road riding weekend to Sabie. It was the first time for a few of the guys. The newbies being matt, on eatmyktm's 990 and niloc, on his newly purchased GS 650, our riding guru, eatmyktm in a schizophrenic moment on a GS1200, me on the only none dual purpose BMW F800s and Ian our positive vibe guru trailering his bike, a 640 KTM, behind a monster of a jeep wrangler, with tires so fat they could've been american.
We set off from Kelvin, excited like little teenages on our first date, working our way through heavily trafficed Linbro, to pop out on to the open road. We had a beautiful ride up to the first pit stop for lunch, were our first Hannah Montana sticker was added to Matt's KTM. This came about cos he bought a kiddies tent for the camping, and i asked him if it had a Hannah Montana picture. He did confess he went home and checked. So off we set, ready for belfast and the fun twisties after Dullstroom. Well that was not to be as we were coming into belfast it started raining, than pouring and eventually we were doing under water sport. By the time we got into Dullstroom we were wetter than a prostitute on payday and colder than an eskimo Stripper. We decided to stop, which actually means i actually started yelling at eatmyktm on our Scala about how my bike, being the only one on slicks, was slipping around like some one had rubbed them with Q20. So we stopped for coffee at a really nice place. Waited for it to pass. Bought our selves washing up gloves (yellow) and water proof suits (yellow) from the hardware store, donned our let's be team Lemon (if its not orange its a lemon right?) outfits and set off again. Niloc had a moment finding what a bike does on wet tar with hard acceleration, he recovered well and didn't crash, and so we carried on, to Long Tom and the mist from hell (insert dodgy scary music here). I have gone through mist before, but this was more like a huge bloody lazy cloud. If we were to play eye spy in there it would've gotten boring, I spy with my little eye....um something white...So with me singing "the rain keeps falling on my face it's pissing me off.." on the scala, visors up, at pace like a snail in reverse we ascended Long Tom. We had a quick pee break at the top, which required several layers of stripping. And we set off again into the abiss. Eatmyktm was our fearless leader although he did have a moment when he thought a sign board was on the back of a truck, slow truck
. And as we descended we all thought yahh the mist shall now bugger off, not a chance, it carried on and on, it was longer than a male porn star. Until 2 k's from Sabie it suddenly cleared and we now only had to face the pin pricks of rain like acupunture on our faces. But as we sloshed into The Woodsman for a bite to eat, we had survived and now the fun was to begin, if only we knew the truth. We warmed up and de-wetted at the Woodsman and set off for our camp site, about 10 km's off the 22. The 22 at night. Hmm way to throw the newbies in at the super deep end. But the coped like pure troupers or they were snorting coke in the bathroom and did really well. and so we arrived, with no rain, to a warm balmy evening. The weather in the lowveld is totally Disocciative to the different places, its completely confused and certainly in need of a mental health proffesional.
The camp sight was awesome. Own ablution blocks, loads of space, braai facilities, with wood. and so we set out for a serious warming up session, ie a fire and Rum. We sat around the fire chatting, getting lubricated. Matt found a roller and we decided the first person to go to bed would have to ride with it attached to the bike. Well Ian was that unlucky sod so it got tied to his bike after he went to bed. Although the guys were as sneaky as a scud missile while doing it cos he woke up and popped outta his tent. the Hannah Montana thing had increased with Matt having now been made a key ring from stickers, stickers on his tent and on his helmet and even on his back. We are berry berry sneaky. So after decided riding time in the morning we got ready for bed and snuggle into our tents. Niloc and Matt feel asleep first with a nice symphony of snoring from those two tents.
I was woken at 3;49, to a hand trying to reach into my tent, after eatmyktm had to restrain me from climbing out, we eventually did only to discover we had donated alot of our stuff to the criminal minds of South Africa. Confused criminals they were to, lets take race leathers but leave camping chairs, lets take race boots but leave the alcohol behind (we were thankful for that the next night tho). Lets reach into tents to steal jeans but leave the other jeans against the wall, lets steal the chicks bag cos we need her tampax, leave all the guys equipment and steal a fridge freezer that weighs half a ton. So if you come across cross dressing, make up wearing, leather bound criminals, please phone me, i would like to grate their balls. Ian had a great time, popping his flood lights up on his jeep and doing some serious bundu bashing and Matt took a night ride on the KTM. But after the cops came and went and were as useful as a barbie plaster for a broken femur, the light of day was filtering thro, we realised we had been taken, without KY. I was stuck with my Pj's, eatmyktm's mx boots on and my toothbrush. Ian got nailed pretty bad to. But we called a team red meeting and decided, since we still had our helmets, gloves and every ones riding kit (sept mine) we should not waste the weekend and carry on like the troupers (and mental institute patients) we are. After some incouraging words from Ian, we made a plan and started on a new day.
To be Continued....
We set off from Kelvin, excited like little teenages on our first date, working our way through heavily trafficed Linbro, to pop out on to the open road. We had a beautiful ride up to the first pit stop for lunch, were our first Hannah Montana sticker was added to Matt's KTM. This came about cos he bought a kiddies tent for the camping, and i asked him if it had a Hannah Montana picture. He did confess he went home and checked. So off we set, ready for belfast and the fun twisties after Dullstroom. Well that was not to be as we were coming into belfast it started raining, than pouring and eventually we were doing under water sport. By the time we got into Dullstroom we were wetter than a prostitute on payday and colder than an eskimo Stripper. We decided to stop, which actually means i actually started yelling at eatmyktm on our Scala about how my bike, being the only one on slicks, was slipping around like some one had rubbed them with Q20. So we stopped for coffee at a really nice place. Waited for it to pass. Bought our selves washing up gloves (yellow) and water proof suits (yellow) from the hardware store, donned our let's be team Lemon (if its not orange its a lemon right?) outfits and set off again. Niloc had a moment finding what a bike does on wet tar with hard acceleration, he recovered well and didn't crash, and so we carried on, to Long Tom and the mist from hell (insert dodgy scary music here). I have gone through mist before, but this was more like a huge bloody lazy cloud. If we were to play eye spy in there it would've gotten boring, I spy with my little eye....um something white...So with me singing "the rain keeps falling on my face it's pissing me off.." on the scala, visors up, at pace like a snail in reverse we ascended Long Tom. We had a quick pee break at the top, which required several layers of stripping. And we set off again into the abiss. Eatmyktm was our fearless leader although he did have a moment when he thought a sign board was on the back of a truck, slow truck
. And as we descended we all thought yahh the mist shall now bugger off, not a chance, it carried on and on, it was longer than a male porn star. Until 2 k's from Sabie it suddenly cleared and we now only had to face the pin pricks of rain like acupunture on our faces. But as we sloshed into The Woodsman for a bite to eat, we had survived and now the fun was to begin, if only we knew the truth. We warmed up and de-wetted at the Woodsman and set off for our camp site, about 10 km's off the 22. The 22 at night. Hmm way to throw the newbies in at the super deep end. But the coped like pure troupers or they were snorting coke in the bathroom and did really well. and so we arrived, with no rain, to a warm balmy evening. The weather in the lowveld is totally Disocciative to the different places, its completely confused and certainly in need of a mental health proffesional.The camp sight was awesome. Own ablution blocks, loads of space, braai facilities, with wood. and so we set out for a serious warming up session, ie a fire and Rum. We sat around the fire chatting, getting lubricated. Matt found a roller and we decided the first person to go to bed would have to ride with it attached to the bike. Well Ian was that unlucky sod so it got tied to his bike after he went to bed. Although the guys were as sneaky as a scud missile while doing it cos he woke up and popped outta his tent. the Hannah Montana thing had increased with Matt having now been made a key ring from stickers, stickers on his tent and on his helmet and even on his back. We are berry berry sneaky. So after decided riding time in the morning we got ready for bed and snuggle into our tents. Niloc and Matt feel asleep first with a nice symphony of snoring from those two tents.
I was woken at 3;49, to a hand trying to reach into my tent, after eatmyktm had to restrain me from climbing out, we eventually did only to discover we had donated alot of our stuff to the criminal minds of South Africa. Confused criminals they were to, lets take race leathers but leave camping chairs, lets take race boots but leave the alcohol behind (we were thankful for that the next night tho). Lets reach into tents to steal jeans but leave the other jeans against the wall, lets steal the chicks bag cos we need her tampax, leave all the guys equipment and steal a fridge freezer that weighs half a ton. So if you come across cross dressing, make up wearing, leather bound criminals, please phone me, i would like to grate their balls. Ian had a great time, popping his flood lights up on his jeep and doing some serious bundu bashing and Matt took a night ride on the KTM. But after the cops came and went and were as useful as a barbie plaster for a broken femur, the light of day was filtering thro, we realised we had been taken, without KY. I was stuck with my Pj's, eatmyktm's mx boots on and my toothbrush. Ian got nailed pretty bad to. But we called a team red meeting and decided, since we still had our helmets, gloves and every ones riding kit (sept mine) we should not waste the weekend and carry on like the troupers (and mental institute patients) we are. After some incouraging words from Ian, we made a plan and started on a new day.
To be Continued....
