Beemer Mike
Race Dog
So on Tuesday I have a couple of hours spare, and I am sitting in Hartbeespoort, on the XR, so I decide to do the first bit of the canals.
Get to the Canals route turn off and notice that they have made another entry road onto the canals. They have also recently graded and put in some awesome speed bumps that will ensure that you get decent air time.
Had a nice ride up to the rubbish dump at the location and decide to ride around to find other routes so as to miss that entire stretch. Go north and find the dried cotton soil route that will be a must in wet weather. Then turn south and find another route to bypass the location entirely.
Quite chuffed and happy I turn back and give the XR horns. Coming past the railway siding I feel the familiar squirming of the rear wheel ... oh oh... puncture!!!
I have a spare tube and spanners so I sit up on the tank and mosey down to the nearest garage, the Sasol. I inflate the rear tyre to see how bad the puncture but it deflates as fast as I inflate. Have a closer look and find a six inch rusty nail causing the puncture.
Cool, now to change tubes.
Look around to find something to use to jack up the rear of the bike so that I can take off the rear wheel. Ummmm the rocks around will work but after trying I give up that idea as it is going to scratch the swing arm. I see a Fever tree close by so shoot into the Sasol shop and buy a nylon rope. Hell I have done this in Botswana with a loaded GSA 1150, so how difficult can this be, I mean the XR has to be less than half the weight.
I tie the rope around one of the rear foot pegs, throw the rope over a strong branch, hook it up to the other rear foot peg and hoist the rear end of the bike up into the tree. Sorted!!!
Get the tools out and soon have the rear wheel off the bike and lying next to me. Now to get the tyre off.
Now for those that know my XR will remember that my tyre levers are bolted to the frame through the rear foot pegs!!! Bollocks as I have the bike hanging in the tree by the rear footpegs.
Luckily the rope that I bought was pretty long so I thread the rope through the front foot peg, over the same branch and tie up to the other front foot peg. Sweeeeet now I can undo the rear foot pegs and get to the tyre levers.
What nobody tells you is that a thinnish nylon rope backlashes when shifting weight from one piece to another and for some stupid reason I managed to get my hand caught between the two pieces of rope and the rear foot peg as I undid the rope from said foot peg, resulting in cutting off the tip of my right middle finger. Farrrk!!! AND FRIKKIN BOLLOCKS ... The first aid kit is still on the BMW from my previous trip. Back into the shop but all they had was toilet paper which soon became useless.
Anyway I manage to get the Mitas debeaded with huge hassle COS THE AWESOME BEADBREAKER THAT I BOUGHT IS STILL ON THE BM FRIGGIN W, and the bike is now hanging from a tree so the side stand trick is useless.
Get the old tube out ... it is seriously poked but no problems as I carry a spare. I haul out the new Bridgestone Ultra Heavy Duty Tube and start to fit it. I get it into the Mitas tyre without too much sweat but I need to pop the tube valve through the hole in the rim. BOLLOCKS cos the valve puller is in the bag with the bead breaker ... (yes you guessed it) on the BM fukkin W at fukkin home!!!
Now this stupid useless Bridgestone Ultra Heavy Fark You Duty piece of shyte is too thick to allow me to get my thick friggin dumbass fingers in under the tyre to push the valve through the hole.
Farkkit, after throwing a silent tantrum and kicking the stupid farkking wheel that causes my fukked up now filthy finger to piss blood all over the bike I take a close look at the rope ... If I un-thread some of the nylon strands I might be able to make a valve puller.
I unravelled some ten strands of the nylon rope to make a much thinner but strong string. I take my side cutters and cut up a spare valve to get rid of the spring contraption and manage to construct a "Boer maak n plan, Caveman Bastardized PLEEEZE work" valve puller that works like a dream, what with the oozing blood from my finger as lubricant. FARKKING SORTED!!!
And do not forget to inflate the tyre slightly with the bicycle pump so as to avoid pinching the stoopid tube. Now I know that all the techie riding Gods and Boffins look down at me for using WD40 instead of Sunlight soap to seat but once again I say that WD40 rocks cos with the wheel intact the tyre slipped onto the bead like icy cool beer would soon slide down my gullet. SORTED!!!!
The wheel slid into position on the rear swing arms and within minutes I had the bike up and running, tyres inflated and ready to go home. By this time my finger had stopped bleeding so kitted up and even pulled a small wheelie as I bid farewell to the Brits Sasol garage.
Lesson to be learnt: Each bike needs it's own complete tool kit AND first aid kit. A pair of gloves as well as some type of barrier cream will go a long way too. Take rope with, but the thicker "ski" type.
Got home, repaired the rear tube (three holes) and with Dan's fender bags ... they are large enough to take a front AND a rear tube, provided they are standard. Sorted!!!
Get to the Canals route turn off and notice that they have made another entry road onto the canals. They have also recently graded and put in some awesome speed bumps that will ensure that you get decent air time.
Had a nice ride up to the rubbish dump at the location and decide to ride around to find other routes so as to miss that entire stretch. Go north and find the dried cotton soil route that will be a must in wet weather. Then turn south and find another route to bypass the location entirely.
Quite chuffed and happy I turn back and give the XR horns. Coming past the railway siding I feel the familiar squirming of the rear wheel ... oh oh... puncture!!!
I have a spare tube and spanners so I sit up on the tank and mosey down to the nearest garage, the Sasol. I inflate the rear tyre to see how bad the puncture but it deflates as fast as I inflate. Have a closer look and find a six inch rusty nail causing the puncture.
Cool, now to change tubes.
Look around to find something to use to jack up the rear of the bike so that I can take off the rear wheel. Ummmm the rocks around will work but after trying I give up that idea as it is going to scratch the swing arm. I see a Fever tree close by so shoot into the Sasol shop and buy a nylon rope. Hell I have done this in Botswana with a loaded GSA 1150, so how difficult can this be, I mean the XR has to be less than half the weight.
I tie the rope around one of the rear foot pegs, throw the rope over a strong branch, hook it up to the other rear foot peg and hoist the rear end of the bike up into the tree. Sorted!!!
Get the tools out and soon have the rear wheel off the bike and lying next to me. Now to get the tyre off.
Now for those that know my XR will remember that my tyre levers are bolted to the frame through the rear foot pegs!!! Bollocks as I have the bike hanging in the tree by the rear footpegs.
Luckily the rope that I bought was pretty long so I thread the rope through the front foot peg, over the same branch and tie up to the other front foot peg. Sweeeeet now I can undo the rear foot pegs and get to the tyre levers.
What nobody tells you is that a thinnish nylon rope backlashes when shifting weight from one piece to another and for some stupid reason I managed to get my hand caught between the two pieces of rope and the rear foot peg as I undid the rope from said foot peg, resulting in cutting off the tip of my right middle finger. Farrrk!!! AND FRIKKIN BOLLOCKS ... The first aid kit is still on the BMW from my previous trip. Back into the shop but all they had was toilet paper which soon became useless.
Anyway I manage to get the Mitas debeaded with huge hassle COS THE AWESOME BEADBREAKER THAT I BOUGHT IS STILL ON THE BM FRIGGIN W, and the bike is now hanging from a tree so the side stand trick is useless.
Get the old tube out ... it is seriously poked but no problems as I carry a spare. I haul out the new Bridgestone Ultra Heavy Duty Tube and start to fit it. I get it into the Mitas tyre without too much sweat but I need to pop the tube valve through the hole in the rim. BOLLOCKS cos the valve puller is in the bag with the bead breaker ... (yes you guessed it) on the BM fukkin W at fukkin home!!!
Now this stupid useless Bridgestone Ultra Heavy Fark You Duty piece of shyte is too thick to allow me to get my thick friggin dumbass fingers in under the tyre to push the valve through the hole.
Farkkit, after throwing a silent tantrum and kicking the stupid farkking wheel that causes my fukked up now filthy finger to piss blood all over the bike I take a close look at the rope ... If I un-thread some of the nylon strands I might be able to make a valve puller.
I unravelled some ten strands of the nylon rope to make a much thinner but strong string. I take my side cutters and cut up a spare valve to get rid of the spring contraption and manage to construct a "Boer maak n plan, Caveman Bastardized PLEEEZE work" valve puller that works like a dream, what with the oozing blood from my finger as lubricant. FARKKING SORTED!!!
And do not forget to inflate the tyre slightly with the bicycle pump so as to avoid pinching the stoopid tube. Now I know that all the techie riding Gods and Boffins look down at me for using WD40 instead of Sunlight soap to seat but once again I say that WD40 rocks cos with the wheel intact the tyre slipped onto the bead like icy cool beer would soon slide down my gullet. SORTED!!!!
The wheel slid into position on the rear swing arms and within minutes I had the bike up and running, tyres inflated and ready to go home. By this time my finger had stopped bleeding so kitted up and even pulled a small wheelie as I bid farewell to the Brits Sasol garage.
Lesson to be learnt: Each bike needs it's own complete tool kit AND first aid kit. A pair of gloves as well as some type of barrier cream will go a long way too. Take rope with, but the thicker "ski" type.
Got home, repaired the rear tube (three holes) and with Dan's fender bags ... they are large enough to take a front AND a rear tube, provided they are standard. Sorted!!!
