Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register

Author Topic: The Quest (...choosing a "partner")  (Read 4422 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Jonix

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 89
  • Persona non Grata
The Quest (...choosing a "partner")
« on: November 06, 2008, 10:16:32 am »
Choosing a bike is a flirtatious affair and so it should be!
 
In my quest to find the ideal partner (read bike) over the last couple of years proved in many ways exciting, often frustrating but never disappointing. I have found that searching for the ideal bike is in many ways like searching for the ideal wife (some might say you are better off searching for the Yeti) - she must be able to live with your dimensions (which includes the size of your ego), but more importantly she must be able to support you in your quest for an adventurous life.

A wise man could have said: ‚??Go forth, but be careful in what you say to a man about his choice of bike, as it is a reflection of his limitations as a man, his ego, as well as his sense of adventure.‚?Ě

I am yet to witness somebody who will admit that his bike inferior to another, as there will be always some sort of justification for why it is just the right partner for him. Then again, how would you feel if somebody questions your wife's suspension, her knobblies or her fuel consumption? How about her big fuel tank and her wet weight or how she handles in sand? If the answer is: "I like her, because I find her sexy in the way she moves when I jiggle her throttle." Maybe that is enough. Maybe there is no need to jiggle any other throttle. You have found enlightenment and should marry her immediately!
 
Well in my quest, I have narrowed my ideal partner down to one that is extremely suitable for adventure, undeniably sexy and with a "phat" dose of the fun factor. To be clear:

Adventure is an activity that comprises risky, dangerous and uncertain experiences;
Sexy is being very attractive or appealing and sensual in appearance or behaviour; and Fun is the expenditure of time in a manner designed for therapeutic refreshment of one's body or mind.
 
I started my search with the Bayerische family (owns Bayerische Motoren Werke) and found them to be a sophisticated and exclusive bunch and with a high degree of excellence. The ladies that immediately caught my eye were the 800 GS and the 1200 GS Adventure. Then there were the younger slightly shy sister in the 650 Dakar, the middle sister who looked as if she had something to hide in the 1200 GS and then obviously the older sister in the HP2 (who some might call the ugly one) who you could tell by the look in her eyes would stop at nothing when it comes to showing you a good time.

Being a liberated sole, I believe one should treat a lady to a couple of turns on the dance floor to test the waters and if you like what you see, take her away on a dirty weekend before making any long-term commitments.

Struggling with commitment issues and a low impulsive gene count, I decided to test drive all of them (not without protection of cource), read as much as possible, as well as speak to other brothers who have married into the same family.

To be continued‚?¶
« Last Edit: November 27, 2008, 01:48:11 pm by Jonix »
 

Disselboom

  • Guest
Re: The Quest
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2008, 10:19:22 am »
Nicely written... :thumleft: :biggrin:
 

Offline growweblaar

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW F800GS
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 2,730
  • Thanked: 9 times
  • Somerset West
Re: The Quest
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2008, 10:31:08 am »
There is only One Way: RIDE THEM ALL :ricky:
 

Offline Jonix

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 89
  • Persona non Grata
Re: The Quest
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2008, 12:32:47 pm »
OK gentleman, I am sure I am going to get some flack along the way, but sensitive viewers are warned and the rest, please leave your egos at the door.

First Up:


F 650 Dakar
Face Value: On face value, she looks like a fun chick and is fairly tall - which is appealing to me personally. She is definitely not the sexiest, but then again I have seen much worse.

On the Dance Floor: Confirmed as a fun chick and definitely worth taking away on a dirty weekend.

The Dirty Weekend: I found some serious personality flaws for somebody who claims to be “adventurous”. For one, the windshield was designed to direct all the wind into your upper torso – not ideal! If that is not enough, why on earth would you bring out an adventure bike without a centre stand? It took four of us to change the front tyre (blow out at 140) – just to find that the thickness of the tube is comparable to a condom. The vibrations at the maximum speed of 160 (downhill/downwind) was pretty severe, but I guess it depends what floats your boat and some might find it exhilarating. On the positive, I found her very comfortable to handle in the rough and technical stuff (Karma Sutra page 69).

Conclusion: Although she was fun and showed potential on face value and I might be able to put up with her for a couple of months, I will be merely using her as a stepping stone. She is not the one!
« Last Edit: November 06, 2008, 12:39:19 pm by Jonix »
 

Offline growweblaar

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW F800GS
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 2,730
  • Thanked: 9 times
  • Somerset West
Re: The Quest
« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2008, 01:05:08 pm »
The first 3 things you fit to a Dakar are:

1. Crash-bars
2. Different windshield
3. Centre-stand

 :biggrin: :biggrin:
 

Offline Jonix

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 89
  • Persona non Grata
Re: The Quest
« Reply #5 on: November 06, 2008, 01:10:13 pm »
Growweblaar: I recommend you make that 4 and add: change your tubes!
« Last Edit: November 06, 2008, 02:21:04 pm by Jonix »
 

Offline MrBig

  • Forum Whore
  • ****
  • Bike: Triumph 955 Tiger
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 9,410
  • Stellenbosch
Re: The Quest
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2008, 01:40:07 pm »
The first 3 things you fit to a Dakar are:

1. Crash-bars
2. Different windshield
3. Centre-stand

 :biggrin: :biggrin:


Are you on the phone with BMW On Call there growwes?
"I know you think you understand what I said, but what you don't understand is what I said is not what I mean."
 

Offline Jonix

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 89
  • Persona non Grata
Re: The Quest
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2008, 01:51:50 pm »
1200 GS



Face Value: On face value, she looks sophisticated with nice lines. Pity about the birth defect (which seem to be a bit of a Bayerische family trait) - the oversized see-through, plastic receptacle on the right wrist. Maybe it doubles as a fish tank?

On the Dance Floor: Confirmed as a very nice ride with enough power. You can also understand why she is as popular as she is a definite crowd pleaser with enough moves to choose from.

The Dirty Weekend: This baby has no problems to perform at high speeds of plus 180. You are offered as much protection as you want with the adjustable windshield and the high quality seat makes for a very enjoyable ride. The tubeless tyres and heated grips just add to the sheer comfort. Her smaller front wheel, dancing shoes, as well as her bore vs. stroke ratio makes her in my view definitely tar bias (although she will eat up any good dirt road). I found her wanting in the rough and technical stuff (Karma Sutra page 69) and although she is definitely up for a threesome (read pillion), I found her suspension to bottom out under the load.

Conclusion: If you want comfort, quality and speed then she might be the one. With all that comfort and stability, I feel that she looses some of the fun factor. If you are a poser, she won‚??t turn any heads, because every second bike (just after Vukas) you see is a 1200 GS. In my view if you want to do a trip through Africa without a backup/film crew, then you have much better options. Not my choice!
 

Offline Fugly

Re: The Quest
« Reply #8 on: November 06, 2008, 02:11:39 pm »
I think I'm going to enjoy this thread!
Donít worry about things that arenít, worry about things that are and your decisions are so much easier to make!
 

Offline growweblaar

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW F800GS
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 2,730
  • Thanked: 9 times
  • Somerset West
Re: The Quest
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2008, 02:26:34 pm »
Are you on the phone with BMW On Call there growwes?

Nope, just the best seat in the house :mwink:
 

Offline MrBig

  • Forum Whore
  • ****
  • Bike: Triumph 955 Tiger
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 9,410
  • Stellenbosch
Re: The Quest
« Reply #10 on: November 06, 2008, 02:28:59 pm »
Are you on the phone with BMW On Call there growwes?

Nope, just the best seat in the house :mwink:


"Hallo hallo? Bring tjoops asb! Sommer baie!"
"I know you think you understand what I said, but what you don't understand is what I said is not what I mean."
 

Offline Jonix

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 89
  • Persona non Grata
Re: The Quest
« Reply #11 on: November 06, 2008, 03:04:56 pm »
1200 HP2 Enduro



Face Value: On face value, she is the ugly sister with the same birth defect (both sides if I am not mistaken). Then again, aggression and beauty is not often used in the same sentence.

On the Dance Floor: Slow dance is out of the question and if you thought you do the steering, think again: you will be steered! Described as a monster dirt bike that is not for the meek, make sure that you are up for some serious rock and roll.

The Dirty Weekend: This baby is a lightweight, agile and powerful piece of kit that has no problems to perform at high speeds or the rough and technical stuff. Nasty! Much like giving in to prostitution, you are offered no protection or comfort ‚?? you are on your own. Unfortunately she would not be up for a threesome (read pillion) and unless you are as ‚??harre-gat‚?Ě as Luke Watson, long distance travel will be painful.

Conclusion: Now this is what I mean by a ‚??phat‚?Ě dose of the Fun factor ‚?? she comes with buckets full! Unfortunately, I do not find her at all attractive, or sensual in behaviour. It is not called an Enduro for nothing: it is NOT an Adventure bike. Not my choice!
 

Offline Misty

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW F650GS / Dakar
    Location: Gauteng
  • Posts: 3,326
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • BMW650GS - DR650 - Triumph Scrambler 900 - BMW650G
Re: The Quest
« Reply #12 on: November 06, 2008, 03:16:24 pm »
Nice and interesting read so far  :thumleft: ‚?? looking forward to the rest and to see your end choice and why  :)
... ďThere might be a few bumps ahead in the road, but luckily you are well trained in off road riding!Ē ... PS: for sure, I'm a lot tougher than I look!! ;)
 

Offline Jonix

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 89
  • Persona non Grata
Re: The Quest
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2008, 04:00:00 pm »
1200 GS Adventure


Face Value: A matured, sophisticated, voluptuous lady of leisure. Although slightly overweight (some might say definitely overweight), she has a very sexy and beautiful frame.

On the Dance Floor: When her tank is full and at pace, you will have to contend with something called momentum - She can definitely ‚??wikkel‚?Ě!
 
The Dirty Weekend: As with the 1200 GS, she has no problems to perform at high speeds of plus 180. Again, you are presented with all the mod cons in heated grips, tubeless tyres, adjustable windshield, long range fuel tank, comfortable seat etc. that promises luxurious comfort of note. What is next I think: Maybe a reverse gear? Her smaller front wheel, dancing shoes, as well as her bore vs. stroke ratio again make her in my view definitely tar bias (or at the most a good dirt road). When the going gets rough, she will make you sweat.

Conclusion: This is a serious bike made for the serious individual (doctors, lawyers and forum moderators) and with long distance travel in mind. She certainly has the looks ‚?? I recon if God had to make a bike (from a Kawa sparkplug or something), this is what it will look like. This is the Harley Davidson of Adventure Bikes and in my mind to serious and just not enough fun ‚?? maybe when I am retired and have lost my sense of humour. Not my choice!
 

Offline Jonix

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 89
  • Persona non Grata
Re: The Quest
« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2008, 04:09:08 pm »
OK, enough for one day. I will be back tomorrow when the quest continues with the 800GS.
 

Offline oo7

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW R1200GS Adventure
    Location: USA
  • Posts: 1,482
Re: The Quest
« Reply #15 on: November 06, 2008, 04:19:57 pm »
Very nicely written, dude.

Looking forward to the verdict.

Cheers from a serious, humourless, lawyer  :biggrin:
 

Offline growweblaar

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW F800GS
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 2,730
  • Thanked: 9 times
  • Somerset West
Re: The Quest
« Reply #16 on: November 06, 2008, 04:21:40 pm »
 :happy1:
 

Offline Jonix

  • Member
  • **
  • Bike: KTM 990 Adventure
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 89
  • Persona non Grata
Re: The Quest
« Reply #17 on: November 06, 2008, 04:27:46 pm »
Thanks Double O and Co!
 

Offline MrBig

  • Forum Whore
  • ****
  • Bike: Triumph 955 Tiger
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 9,410
  • Stellenbosch
Re: The Quest
« Reply #18 on: November 06, 2008, 04:44:32 pm »
I'm enjoying you're opinion on the ladies.  :thumleft:
Beauty, however, is indeed in the eye of the beholder.

Interesting that you find the GSA attractive and not the HP2.
I agree that the GSA is by far one of the most good looking DS bikes every to roll out of a factory.
But there's also something sexy about the HP2. Primal in a way but it stirs the emotions.

Looking forward to the rest.
Please don't let us down and settle on the obvious!

"I know you think you understand what I said, but what you don't understand is what I said is not what I mean."
 

Offline growweblaar

  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Bike: BMW F800GS
    Location: Western Cape
  • Posts: 2,730
  • Thanked: 9 times
  • Somerset West
Re: The Quest
« Reply #19 on: November 06, 2008, 04:46:55 pm »
There's too much orange in your avatar to choose a BM... :pot: